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Archive of posts tagged convention

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Day 4 – John McCain

I’m not watching. I couldn’t take anymore. I gotta watch my blood pressure. But in the spirit of the last two weeks… John McCain spoke. He was wrong.

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Post-Palin

John McCain copies Barack Obama and comes out to greet his Vice Presidential pick. He’ll say a few words. He seeks approval from the crowd for his pick, and he gets it. Now McCain and the Palins are standing on stage awkwardly. They didn’t plan the exit. Whoops. Even Shields thought something else was coming. [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Sarah Palin

And right (far-right, perhaps right-wing) into Sarah Palin. Let’s see how she does… PALIN ACCEPTS! SHE ACCEPTS! SHE ACCEPTS THE NOMINATION! Boy, all those Republican pundits that hate her must be piiiiiiiissed. She’s praising McCain and raising Cain, baby. She’s a good speaker so far, I’ll grant her that. “COUNTRY FIRST!” EVERYONE DRINK! Here come [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Rudy Giuliani

“America’s Next Top Model” is over, so now there’s nothing separating me from the Republicans. This will be the first time I’ll see Romney and Giuliani speak in the same night, so I’ll finally find out who I find more loathsome. Rudy Giuliani really gives bald guys a bad name. He and Dick Cheney are [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Mike Huckabee

Aw, shucksabee. It’s Mike Huckabee! I’m not really paying attention to the lineup tonight. But I just heard him say a bad word about European government, and with a missus from Scotland, well, that shit don’t fly so much in our house. He’s railing against “government handouts,” but I’d sure like to hear someone talk [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Mitt Romney

Romney’s a fucking idiot, and that’s about all I can say about this Dickhead. Cock. That’s about all I can think when I look at his face. Cock. I’m done with Romney. I actually think I’d rather find out which of the Top Model girls are bigoted against the transgender contestant. Yeah, I must really [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Day 3

The night belongs to Sarah Palin! But first, we get to see the parade of Dickheads, including Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani. I don’t know how much of this I’ll be able to take. Romney and Giuliani are exceptionally loathsome. In fact, The Wire arrived from Netflix today, and I may try to convince the [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Joe Lieberman

I think I’m going to go to bed. I don’t want to hear Droopy Dog spouting neo-conservative ideas with “can’t we all get along?” overtones. Holy shit. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Lieberman speak. Probably in 2000 when he was Gore’s VP. Yes, he’s just as dull as I remember. He’s calling [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Fred Thompson

Actor and former candidate Fred Thompson’s up next. He’s on fire. We’re prosperous! At least he is! And he’s defending Sarah Palin! Oh, Fred loves a crowd. And he just repeated himself. There are a shitload of white people in that crowd. Damn. Fred’s hitting us full in the face with partisan rhetoric. Liberals and [...]

Republican Convention Watch 2008 – Dubya

Laura Bush is introducing her husband. I’m taking my Dramamine in anticipation of the waves of nausea that will certainly come over me. Oh, shit. Laura’s offering a boisterous defense of her husband, the worst president of all time. She seems a little pissy about having to explain to people why he’s so great. She [...]