Saving Themselves for Marriage

I saw something about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon waiting to have sex until they were married, which, I don't know, might explain why they didn't wait to get married.

What's the Matter With Florida?

I gotta tell ya, folks, there's something strange about Florida. It's already suspect because of the 2000 election, those weird expansion baseball teams that make it to the playoffs, and the curious retirement communities. Plus, you know... it's my birth state.

But in Florida's 16th Congressional District, well, frankly, I'm beginning to think the water isn't potable.

Some of you will remember Republican Mark Foley, who was caught writing inappropriate text messages to his underage pageboys. In 2006, he was replaced by Democrat Tim Mahoney, who promised to bring some good old-fashioned decency back into the office.

Turns out that Tim was pallin' around (sans pants) with a lady staff member during the election in which he promised to bring that good old-fashioned decency back into the office. I guess by "decency" he meant banging chicks instead of harassing underage pageboys.

Tim also shelled out $121,000 (and a job) to keep the woman quiet. And although he has admitted to violating the woman, he says he didn't violate any laws or his oath of office.

And naturally, he considers it to be a "private matter." Good luck with that, Tim.

What is it with these douchebag politicians who can't keep their Jolly Ranchers in their wrappers?

If you enjoy sordid political affairs, you can read more about it here.

A Couple of Bald Updates

Well, my people sure know that I appreciate bald-related items.

A colleague found this here button.


I must say that it sure would be a better button if Mr. Bald felt a bit happier about being bald and for Obama. It would send a positive message to the kids, who are our future, provided we teach them well and let them lead the way.

Quite some time ago, another friend sent me a link to this photo of Cameron Diaz bald.


It's pretty obviously a skull cap, but she looks pretty happy about it.

And then a few days ago, yet another friend sent me a link to this little NPR story discussing how, since the days of the Russian Revolution in 1917, the Soviet Union/Russia have been alternating their leadership between the well-covered and the shiny heads. Lenin, bald; Stalin, haired; and so on through Gorbechev, bald and Yeltsin, haired. Putin they put in the bald column, although that’s a bit of a stretch. He’s thinning, sure, but not bald. His replacement Medvedev has a healthy head of hair.

Meanwhile, in the United States, we haven’t had a bald leader for quite some time, as I’ve written before. Will Ike be our last president elected with an uncovered dome? Gerald Ford was a more recent bald president, sure, but he was also not elected.

In our recent primaries, the baldies didn’t fair well. Giuliani, for example, didn’t win a single delegate on the Republican side. Was it because of his bald head or because he’s a Dickhead?

McCain falls into that curious category of “tweeners.” He’s pretty thin up top, but what he does have he uses to try to hide the bald bits. This obvious sign of insecurity should be a major red flag for voters.

Biden’s hair is the subject of some debate. He’s got nothing on the backside of his head, but upfront, he’s got a thick row of bangs, which flow back to cover the back. I had assumed that he had the male pattern baldness of a friend of mine who’s not receding at all upfront, while the rest of his head continues to expand its baldness. But according to that same NPR story, Biden may have opted for plugs at some point along the way. If that’s true, it’s more suspect even than McCain’s cover-up. Fortunately for the Obama-Biden ticket, I’m not a one-issue voter.

As for our other candidates...

Well, obviously, Barack Obama’s hair is still going strong, although the stress of the campaign has added some gray to the color palette.

And Sarah Palin has the obvious hair-producing advantage of a body chemistry that creates less testosterone than her fellow candidates for high office. But I can’t say I’m a big fan of how she flaunts her thick-haired credentials by beehiving it right in our faces. I mean, really: the arrogance; the sheer arrogance.

The AP Is Very Pleased With Itself

So as you've probably heard, Paris Hilton responded to the John McCain "celebrity" ad with an ad of her own. It's not bad.

The Associated Press has reported on the development of course and offer us this exceptionally clever headline:

Paris Hilton issues tart rebuttal to McCain ad

Tart! Get it? See? It's Paris Hilton! Tart!

Looks like someone at the AP has graduated from middle school!

She Must Have Seen August Rush

Generally speaking, I don't have all that much interest in the celebrity gossip. Political gossip, on the other hand...

Even so, I couldn't help but notice that Robin Williams' wife filed for divorce after 19 years of marriage.

The missus made me sit through that August Rush movie this past weekend, and I suspect Robin's wife simply (and finally) reached her limit: "I sat through Death to Smoochy, Man of the Year, and RV. Your demands on this marriage are just too fucking much already. I'm totally gonna McCain you."

Yes, B&E readers. I enjoy a cheap shot once in a while.