Fun with Online Polls

NOW is a program of investigative journalism and probing interviews on PBS. For a lot of years, it was Bill Moyers' baby. I guess you would say it leans to the left politically, except that I'm not sure why accurate, in-depth journalism should be considered left-leaning.

Anyway, NOW is doing this poll, asking viewers if they believe Sarah Palin is ready to be Vice President.

A link to the poll was forwarded to me along with a note about how the Republican Party has launched a successful "all-out blitz" to get the right to vote "yes" in order to win some sort of PR victory. At the time the email was written, Palin was at 62% "yes."

You never know how legitimate these internet conspiracy things are, so rather than follow the link in the email, I went to the NOW homepage myself and found the poll on my own. Turns out it has the same URL as the link in the email. So I voted in the poll, and the left's response appears to be working somewhat: at the time of my writing this she's only 52% "yes" to 46% "no."

Feel free to go help ruin a PBS poll if you like. It's fun and easy!

Meanwhile, another NOW poll has Obama leading McCain 90% to 9% on the topic of who's better qualified to handle the current economic crisis. Why doesn't the Republican Party give a shit about that one?

Republican Convention Watch 2008 - Mitt Romney

Romney's a fucking idiot, and that's about all I can say about this Dickhead. Cock. That's about all I can think when I look at his face. Cock. I'm done with Romney.

I actually think I'd rather find out which of the Top Model girls are bigoted against the transgender contestant.

Yeah, I must really hate Mitt Romney, if I want the missus to turn it back to "America's Next Top Model."

Republican Convention Watch 2008 - Day 3

The night belongs to Sarah Palin! But first, we get to see the parade of Dickheads, including Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani. I don't know how much of this I'll be able to take. Romney and Giuliani are exceptionally loathsome. In fact, The Wire arrived from Netflix today, and I may try to convince the missus to join me in watching an episode of that. Somehow it's less depressing.

But the missus insists on flipping to "America's Next Top Model." Jesus, this might make me angrier than the parade of Dickheads. Of all the crappy TV the missus could watch, why does this one grab her? I want to slit my wrists now. Judas Priest, this is fucking tedious. Kill me. Someone, please kill me. I don't feel this suicidal watching the Republican National Convention.

Fuck me. There's a second goddamned hour of this shit.

Could John McCain please come invade my apartment and blow me up?

All Hail Marvin Miller!

As regular B&E readers well know, I loves me some baseball. And even though today the Mets found themselves alone atop the National League East for the first time since April 19th (Let's Go, Mets!), I'm going to give a little shout-out instead to a fella that many people haven't heard of: Marvin Miller.

This weekend, the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, will be inducting Goose Gossage, the legendary reliever, and everyone will celebrate by eating goose meat deep-fried in goose fat, with a side of French fried goose skin. They'll sleep with their goose down comforters. And maybe they'll goose the bottoms that walk by, for good measure.

So what does all this have to do with Marvin Miller? Nothing, except that he won't be getting inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Marvin Miller probably had more influence on the game of baseball than just about anyone. OK, so Jackie Robinson was a pretty big fucking deal, too, and maybe more influential. But Marvin Miller is right up there with Jackie Robinson, and I say that to praise Marvin.

For without Marvin, there'd be no baseball players' union, no collective bargaining, no free agency, no pensions for ballplayers, no thorns in the sides of all those greedy bastard owners. Like what he did or hate it (and yes, I like it), the man had a powerful influence on Major League Baseball.

So how come he ain't in the Hall? Well, he was almost elected in by the veteran's committee in 2007, receiving 63% of the vote (or 12% short of the required 75%). He was on the ballot again in 2008, and he received only 25%. What happened between 2007 and 2008? Did it become public that he had nothing to do with any of those things after all?

Not exactly, no.

You see, the Hall of Fame board changed the rules. Instead of a group of about 80 former players, executives, and sportswriters voting, the Hall created a committee of twelve to select from among the baseball executives. On that committee sit several of Marvin's enemies, including a few current and former owners who did serious labor battle with Marvin over the years. Shockingly, Marvin got only three votes.

Someone who got ten votes, enough to get elected to the Hall, was Bowie Kuhn, former commissioner of Major League Baseball. Kuhn's famous mostly for having a relatively long tenure as commissioner, and because that term was from 1969 to 1984, he dealt with a lot of baseball labor issues, going head-to-head--and almost always losing--to Marvin Miller.

Sort of how the lack of Emmy Awards for HBO's The Wire says more about the irrelevancy of the Emmy Award than the quality of The Wire, the Hall of Fame embarrasses itself by keeping Marvin Miller out.

For a longer report on the Marvin Miller/Hall of Fame absurdity, read this lovely Nation article, from which I pull this kernel about one of my all-time favorite players:

When he was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1999, legendary pitcher Nolan Ryan devoted part of his speech to paying tribute to Miller. Ryan reminded the audience that when he broke into the major leagues in 1966, he had to spend the winter months working at a gas station from 3 pm to 9 pm, while [his] wife worked at a local bookstore, to make ends meet.

Thanks to Marvin Miller, that's something that's stopped, which is an enormous relief, because what would we do if Alex Rodriguez had to pump gas instead of running off to hang out and do god-knows-what with Madonna.

Oh, wait...

Seriously, though... Go Marvin!

I'm Totally Glad She Chose Jesse

After what that rotten scoundrel Brad did to her, Deanna totally deserved to fall in love, and I'm so glad she chose Jesse over Jason. Jason is a totally great guy, but Jesse was totally the right choice for Deanna. Deanna totally makes Jesse tingle, and Jesse totally makes Deanna giddy. Jesse's so fun, and Deanna's so free-spirited, and they both have totally awesome bodies. They're totally perfect for each other, and I just know that they're totally gonna be happy for the rest of their lives.

24 - The First Four Episodes

There are spoilers in this post, dear B&E readers. If you watch 24, but have not yet seen the first four episodes of this, Jack's sixth terrible day, I advise you to skip over this post.

What I like about this season so far:

- Milo's back.
- Two men are hot after Chloe.
- Assad is a badass. In fact, add a "B" and mix up the letters and his name is Badass.
- The producers aren't afraid to nuke LA.
- Torture now bothers Jack.
- Shooting a man now makes Jack vomit.
- Actually, Jack's sort of a pussy. Of course it's all relative. Even as a pussy he killed a man while cuffed by biting his jugular.

What I don't like about this season so far:

- Milo's not as interesting as he was in season one.
- After he went to White Castle, Kumar became a terrorist.
- Wayne Palmer is a terrible president.
- Wayne Palmer would've been unelectable in the first place.
- The dude doesn't speak Arabic, but he understands "five visitors"? In how many languages do YOU know "five visitors"?
- The argument made for the necessity of torture is a little too convincing.

And a comment about the death of Curtis at Jack's hand(gun)... Anyone who's seen the show knows that Curtis' time was up. Curtis was too black, too handsome, too bald, too proud. He had already lasted longer than any other black, handsome, bald, proud cast member. President Wayne Palmer might make it through this season, but don't expect survival much beyond.

All Hail Roger!

Since I rejoined the on-site, full-time work force, NY1 has become an important part of the morning routine in my small Queens home. While I used to be able to go pantsless any day of the week, Weather on the 1s now tells me how warm my pants need to be.

NY1 in the mornings is anchored by a seemingly kind Canadian called Pat Kiernan. It's a trip to get the occasional "aboot" on a New York newscast. The highlight of Pat's morning on any given day seems to be when we "find out what's happening in your neighborhood." Often these Around Town reports are hosted by Roger Clark.

It is at this point that the missus and I call out to one another: "Honey, Roger's on!" I'm not quite sure I can pinpoint why we love Roger so, but if you'll indulge me, I'll try.

Roger seems a bit beaten down by life. An optimist who's hit a lot of pessimistic roadblocks. He tempers his sarcastic sense of humor for his reporting, but it bubbles up occasionally. He often says something funny, but since he's on TV, i.e. there's no live audience, when he doesn't get his expected laugh, he sort of shrugs like, "Another joke down the drain. What do you idiots know?" And he's got a nice, boistrous laugh of his own, too.

I think the NY1 news teams busts Roger's balls in the newsroom. I get the feeling that when Roger is assigned to play water polo at a community college in Brooklyn, complete with water polo swimwear and cap, his colleagues paste video stills of his report in his cubicle with funny little sayings. Based on the recent sexual harrassment suit that's being leveled against some of the NY1 folks, those funny little saying probably say something along the lines of "I WAS IN THE POOL! I WAS IN THE POOL!"

Sometimes, like when he's playing water polo, Roger seems desperately unhappy in his job, but at other times, he is genuinely enthusiastic about his subjects. His report on the reopening of the Russian Tea Room offered this gem, quoting Tootsie (as he was sitting in Sydney Pollack's booth): "Michael, I begged you to get some therapy." His report of the Vendies (food vendor awards): "Holy... That spice really sneaks up on you! I'm gonna be feeling that for a few days! Good, though!" A report about the cold (the one cold day we've actually had so far): "I'm the only idiot in the city today that forgot his gloves." A report on the Yankees, after their playoff loss: "I'm a Mets fan, they're still in it, and yet here I am at Yankee Stadium. What gives? Well..."

[Note: my Roger quotes are paraphrasings based on memories of his reports while getting ready for work, but are presented to offer a flavor of his reporting.]

He does serious reports on occasion, too, and while he's a perfectly competent reporter, I hope NY1 continues to give him the choice assignments. Kind Canadian Pat Kiernan likes asking Roger follow-up questions, too, and I think they're friends. Or at least Pat enjoys Roger almost as much as I do, and I'd like to be Roger's friend.

The missus and I love you, Roger. Keep up the good work. And if you're looking for a raise at any point, the missus and I represent the coveted 29 to 34 year old demographic.

MI-3

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I went to the New York premiere of MI-3 last night, and it was not what I expected. At all.

MI-5 is one of my favorite shows ever, and since this is a prequel, obviously two years before the original takes place, I don't think it was too much to ask that they at least get the stars of the BBC series. Where was Matthew MacFadyen? Where was the dreamiest of all dreams, Keeley Hawes? Michael Ogunkwockomovich? Nowhere to be found. In fact, the role of Danny was being played by a different bald black man, one a lot thicker in the middle than Michael Ogunksgoughshele and with a lesser sense of style.

So, OK, maybe you can rationalize that all those characters were too junior to be in the prequel. Maybe they were still getting their "spook" training or whatever, and that's fine, I guess, but I still expect to see a young Peter Firth and a hot Jenny Agutter lurking about. Nothing.

Instead, they got this total unknown. Tom Something-or-Other, and he was running around like a lunatic chasing some guy that looked like Truman Capote, only with a normal voice. But what was most disturbing was that they didn't even try to do the British accents. It was like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood all over again.

It made for a muddled, confusing film. I mean, what the hell are these American blokes doing in the British secret service, anyway? Very disappointing. When it comes time to do MI-1, MI-2, and MI-4, I hope they'll be a little more faithful to the source material.

Stupid Hollywood.

Lost Reruns Make Me Gay

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Lost can't seem to get its shit together. They've taken more hiatuses (hiati?) this year than Dubya. Last night ABC replayed the pilot, which is particularly strange since so many potential plot points introduced in the first episode have fallen by the wayside.

So instead of watching that, the missus put on American Idol, which featured performances from the final 12 guys. There's this freakazoid named Taylor Hicks who went last. He's a bit schlubby, prematurely gray, and has no real sense of style.

There's a documentary called Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control by Errol Morris that features four people with strange jobs. What they do becomes riveting only because of their passion for, say, naked mole rats. I don't give a shit about naked mole rats, but the dude who works with them is so into them, you can't help but love the freaky things, too.

So most of the singers, even those that were good, were nervous, which in turn made nervousness the dominant emotion of the performances. Not Taylor. The guy is pure music. As soon as he started singing, joy. That was it. Utter bliss. He can really sing, which is a plus, but more than that, the dude was infectious. That he's a schlubby, prematurely gray, no-style motherfucker melts away when he sings.

Go, Taylor Hicks!

24, Starring John McCain

Right, so Senator John McCain had a cameo on this week's episode of 24. McCain has called himself a fan of the show, although he feels its depiction of torture is both unrealistic and gratuitous. And by now, we all know his history of getting tortured in Vietnam. So it's a good thing he turned up in an episode that featured a torture scene. McCain himself, however, was not the torturer.

Gettin' Annoyed

I don't really enjoy watching television. So usually, I've got one or two shows that I watch, and other than that, I do my best to keep the damned idiot box turned off. I hate how I feel after watching television.

Well, this "Lost" show is really starting to get my goat. The first season was solid throughout. The writers were clearly exploring the island, not having any idea about what they would do next. It was fun.

This season, with the exception of the first, every episode has mostly sucked. But then something exciting happens at the end to get me to watch the following week anyway. Forty-five minutes of boredom and irritation, followed by ten minutes of surprise and intrigue.

I feel like I'm one episode from making "Prison Break" the only show I watch. But I've felt like that for about two months now. What's a TV-watcher to do?

A Show I Know Very Little About

I swear I only know about the show at all because my wife rubs my head as she watches, but when is that cheesy-ass blond kid gonna get kicked off "American Idol"?

And I swear I don't enjoy it at all, but that Constantine Marsupial was an overrated, pouty-lipped hack, who couldn't carry a tune, no matter how Paula cried when he got voted off.

And I swear I hardly pay attention, but Bo Bice should win for being an old-school, Duane Allman-type vocalist who clearly knows his soul singers. Plus he's been arrested for both cocaine and weed, so he's, like, rock n' roll through and through.

Suddenly a Guilty Pleasure

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

This is the fourth season of 24 on everyone's favorite network, Fox. I've been enjoying the show pretty much from the beginning. The first two seasons in particular genuinely surprised me on more than one occasion. The action sequences are pretty good for TV, and it's always fun to watch a character go through hell. It feels like Kiefer's whole career has been leading up to having exceptionally bad days, and many of them.

From the beginning, there has been the occasional suspect acting and stilted dialogue. But those things have been relatively easy to ignore for the simple reason that creating a 24-hour story in real time -- and pulling it off -- is a difficult undertaking. There will be minor glitches like weak dialogue and weaker acting.

The show came under fire early this season for its negative stereotypes about the Arab world (the bad guy this year is an Arab terrorist). Over the first three seasons, the show had an African-American president from the Democratic Party. So we're not necessarily talking about a show based in reality. But still, I understood and ultimately overlooked the issue. 24 works largely because it panders to our fears, xenophobic and otherwise.

The show, however, finally pushed my political buttons with this week's episode. A character we (the audience) know is bad news gets arrested. Mastermind bad guy gets him a lawyer from "Amnesty Global." So with the clock ticking its way toward nuclear proliferation, the Counter Terrorist Unit is unable to "extract information" from the suspect. The argument in favor of torture and against his civil liberties was just a little too simple and a little too Bushie. And of course, in this case, getting information out of this baddie is way more important than his stupid civil liberties.

So clearly, all those people in Cuba need to be held indefinitely. Aw, Christ.

I forgot the issue momentarily while I thoroughly enjoyed how Kiefer got around that particular obstacle (he even tazered one of his own men!). But, dammit. Now I have to watch the show through guilt-filtered lenses.