Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Barack Obama

Abrupt end to Durbin's speech. Odd.

Tribute film! Barack's mom was sorta hot. Woo! Kansas! Grandparents from Kansas! Well done, Kansas. We're getting more about Barack's mom. She was, of course, the perfect mother. More jokes about the name, because really... It's Barack Obama. And the love of Michelle.

The missus is moved by the tribute film. She's a sucker for tribute films. I showed her a tribute film of me before I asked her to marry me, and she could only say yes. By the time she came out of the fog of my tribute film, we were married. Sucka.

Obama still gets choked up talking about his mother's death. The missus thinks Obama is handsome. But she's married to me.

Film over! And Barack is out on stage. Music swells! Crowd roars! Sheer joy! He's shouting thank you and crowd members weep. He's really trying to get going now. OK, I'm gonna listen, if you don't mind.

Except that he can't get a word in edgewise.

Now he's off. OK. I listen.

HE ACCEPTS! WE NOMINATED! HE ACCEPTS! Oh, boy, if he'd refused... What a disaster that would've been. But now we can move forward. After another shout-out to Hillary and Bill. And Ted and Joe. Those are some pearly white choppers Joe's got. And he likes to show them. And shout-out to Michelle, the love of his life, and his daughters who are not quite old enough to be horrified by their daddy.

Obama just hit the failed policies of George W. Bush. "We're better than the last eight years." And he brings up Katrina, as he well damned should. "Enough!"

EIGHT IS ENOUGH! Cut to Dick Van Patten! No. Too bad.

Golf applause for John McCain's bravery. John voted 90% of the time with Bush. A 10% chance of change? I don't think so, suckas. (Why do some people say he voted with Bush 90% and other say 95% of the time? What's the discrepancy?)

Hitting "nation of whiners" now. Good for you, Obama. It's not that McCain doesn't care; it's that he doesn't know. Good point. "Ownership society" means "You're on your own! And it's time for them to own their failure." Nice.

Tying the regular stories he's heard with his own family is nice, especially when he mentions the "celebrity" thing from John McCain.

America's Promise. I think we've got the theme. He just kicked into philosophical gear. We are part of a society: brother and sister's keepers. Spelling out the change is coming up.

Cut taxes for 95% of working families. Off oil in ten years? OK, so that's fucking bold. Green jobs. Invest. Big plans. Good education: early ed, higher salaries for teachers and accountability. Adding service to the college ed deal. Health care for all. Safety nets. Equal pay for equal work, because his daughters deserve it. I'm guessing his daughters will be fine, but I get the point.

Individual and mutual responsibility. I can dig on that.

He's talking like a tough Commander-in-Chief now, comparing his judgment to McCain, whose judgment has been a disaster.

OK, so when he starts talking about unity, well, that's when he really starts cooking. Common ground on tough issues. Surely, we can be reasonable. You can't make a big election about small things. Change doesn't come from Washington but to it.

So I spaced out while listening there for a bit. I guess that's a good sign. And then a country song and fireworks.

Gwen and Judy at the stadium? Like no other convention we've seen. He answered criticism and gave some more specifics about his plans and his family. And he sounded tough.

Historians? Historian 1 thinks Obama's catapulted us into the 21st Century. Historian 2 says he sacrificed eloquence for electability. Interesting. I think I agree with that. I was hoping for another highfalutin speech. It was pretty nuts and bolts. Historian 3 thinks Barack spelled it out well and thinks it'll help him a lot.

Jim Lehrer? Shields and Yarnell? Shields thinks he established the humble roots and the differences with McCain. Steely resolve about patriotism. And he got specific. Yarnell thought the text was assertive. Here comes a "but." Not wowed. Unmoved.

Yarnell and Historian 2 disagree about the partisanship of the speech. And Historian 2 says that this speech won't be carved in granite, but if he gets elected, he'll have an inaugural address for that. That made PBS laugh heartily.

And they're done.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Pre-Obama

A lovely dinner with friends kept me from the Convention earlier (and look! It's Monica Early on TV now!). I missed Gore. So I'm going to review his speech without having heard it...

Gore rocked the house! No one's better in pointing out the differences between the two parties. The differences matter. Indeed, if Gore had been given the office he won, global warming would be healing, we wouldn't be at war with Iraq, the economy would be stronger, we would be weaning ourselves off the oil.

At least that's what I'd say if I were him. And because Gore is no longer a candidate, he was much more relaxed than he used to be, so his delivery wasn't stiff and stilted. Rather than reliving the world of RoboGore, Al gave the speech of a Nobel Prize-winner elder statesman, who's just chillin' on his sofa telling us what's what.

Well done, Al Gore.

I assume.

The missus thinks the stadium is a mistake. The sound is a little worse. It's not as intimate. Well, we'll see, missus. Oh, we'll see.

Now we've sitting through the "regular person" part of the program. The woman from North Carolina makes a compelling argument for former Republicans. She's pretty natural in front of the crowd. She voted for Nixon, Reagan, Bush, and Bush, but now Obama will be her president.

Barney Smith would like to be put before Smith Barney, which gets major applause and chants of "Barney! Barney! Barney!" And Barney felt the power of that applause and ended strong. He was nervous as hell to begin with, but ended with a smile. Man, that was a good "regular person" closer.

Mark Shields and David Brooks (Shields and Yarnell) are floored by the "regular folks." "Where did they find these people??" Even Yarnell is absolutely amazed.

After a station break, they're talking about the crowd at the stadium. Looks fun, they think. Everyone's having a great time. And why not?

The head of the NAACP is named Jealous. Attempting to comment on that is too dangerous when I'm just writing as the thoughts come.

OH! Historians! Today is the anniversary of the MLK, Jr. "I Have a Dream" speech. Forty-five years later we see a piece of that dream realized. OK, I have to admit that I got distracted and missed most of the historians talk. Damn.

I think Dick Durbin is now introducing Barack Obama. I'd like him to be done already. I might ignore Dick Durbin until Barack comes on. Yeah, I'm just gonna post this thing now.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Joe Biden

Biopic of Biden. Praise, praise, praise. Family man, politically experienced, and the rest.

He's being introduced by his son Beau, who's the AG of Delaware and is about to head off to Iraq with the Delaware National Guard. Good intro. He's making the whole place cry with the story of his mother and sister's death and Joe's decision (reversed) not to serve in the Senate.

His son is talking about the stutter. The kids called him "Dash," as in the punctuation. That's a better nickname than Bubba, which I liked already. But that's it: he's Dash. Vice President Dash Biden.

And because he's off to Iraq, he's asking people to be there for his dad. Man, he's pulling out the stops. Good intro, Beau my man.

Heeeeeere's Joe!

He's a talker. Let's see how he talks. He's not afraid to express his love for his wife. I like that. I love the missus.

And he accepts the nomination! Whew! That's a relief. I wasn't sure there for a minute.

Joe's doing pretty well so far. He's showing off his mother, telling the lessons he learned through tragedy and more, and I swear to god, I think he's sincere.

There have been a couple of "Freudian slips" calling John McCain "George W. Bush." I'd say they were staged except the speakers (Kerry and Biden) seemed genuinely surprised at their mistake. They're either better actors than most politicians or they really did slip.

The missus likes Dash's hushed tones. He's a better performer than most speakers. He pulls it off, the hushed tones.

John McCain is his friend. Here we go. He profoundly disagrees with John. He just said, "taxes" when he meant "tax breaks." Whoops. "That's not change; that's more of the same." Doesn't quite roll of the tongue of the crowd, but they're trying.

"We don't need a soldier; we need a wise leader." That's a good point.

The missus is chanting, "That's the change we need" with Joe's call and response lines.

I like that Joe's not afraid to call the Bush administration "abysmal." He's questioning McCain's judgment, which is what he's been hired to do. John McCain is wrong and Barack Obama is right. Go to town, Biden. I don't know about this warmongering talk, but I like that you're fighting McCain at least.

And he's done. There we go. I hope that Mitt Romney is McCain's pick for VP. Biden will tear him a new asshole, debatingly speaking. Oh, I would like to see that.

Hey, look! It's Barack on stage with Joe, introduced by Jill. Barack's thanking the great speakers of the rest of the convention. And now he's speaking off the cuff? He's got no prompters. It's a short speech, but hell, he just rattled off a few words there.

And there's the Bruce Springsteen to close the speech, because who better, really?

Shields and Yarnell? Shields said Beau Biden was the highlight of the night for him. There are a boatload of Bidens on stage. Jim Lehrer says, "And here are the little ones," because how often do we see four-year-olds waving at the crowd? Only every convention.

Buzz on the floor afterward? Serious excitement.

Historians? Big night, huge help, giant setup for tomorrow. The historians see Hubert Humphrey in the night. Ah, Hubert Humphrey. Poor Hubert. Historians approve.

Yarnell thinks that this night puts pressure on McCain. Especially with his veep choice. Yarnell thinks that it points inevitably to Lieberman. He's the only antidote to Joe Biden.

And they're done for the evening. So am I.

By the way, the Mets won. Back in first place! A good night for Democrats and Mets fans!

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Pre-Biden

We're waiting for Joe Biden now, so I won't say much about the run-ups. Chet Edwards is first. He smiles at the end of every sentence. Unfortunate choice.

The Mets have taken the lead over the Phillies! It's 6-3 now in the 8th inning!

There were some military features and interviews that were quite nice and interesting.

Now they're nominating Joe Biden for Vice President.

TRIBUTE FILM!

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - John Kerry

Mr. Personality is speaking now. I'm already tired.

Jesus, if this guy were president now, John McCain would be running away with this election.

I'm looking at his face and hearing, "Blah blah blah..." Nice head of hair, though. And I know a nice head of hair when I see one.

OK, his passion on torture actually got my attention. (John Kerry is against torture.)

Like Mark Warner, John Kerry is a lip-licker. And he's lip-licking his way through an attack on "Candidate McCain" vs. "Senator McCain." He makes some good points, but I wish he had more charisma. "Talk about being against it before being for it!" he says in an attempt at self-deprecation.

The Mets are losing to the Phillies 3-2 in the bottom of the 7th inning, by the way. So much for first place.

He's doing a bit of a call and response now. Who can we count on? (Audience: BARACK OBAMA!)

OK, John Kerry. Wrap it the fuck up. You go too long, and we're done with you.

Oh, look! Barack Obama's uncle. He helped liberate Buchenwald. He's old and touched by the attention.

The missus just got home, and she said that John Kerry was very good on the radio on her way home. Well, seeing that long, dull, lip-licking face really makes a big difference, apparently.

"In closing!" He just said, "In closing!" And he closed. Whew.

Shields and Yarnell now. Shields said it wasn't a typical Kerry speech. Still seemed sorta dull, but maybe he meant context.

They're cut off by the only woman three-star general in the Army. Well, she's a badass, isn't she?

UPDATE: The Mets tied it up in the 8th on a home run by Carlos Delgado.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Bill Clinton

In a desperate attempt to put a dent in the giant pile of dishes in our kitchen sink, I nearly missed Bill Clinton. But there's just been a shitload of cheering so far, so I don't think he's started yet. He's saying, "Sit down," but he is loving every second of it. Oh, now he's actually wanting to get going. "Please stop."

And his opener immediately demonstrates that he's a party man through and through. He's here to support Barack Obama. Of course he's just praised Joe Biden more than Obama. Hm...

Oh, but he's doing shtick now, baby. The primary sped up global warming! He's nervous about following Hillary! But he's down with Barack Obama now, or at least he's playing a man down with Barack Obama on TV.

Bill speaks from the position of authority now. He's one of three living ex-presidents. And now he's talking about how the nation's failed in the past eight years. Everything he's done all over every goddamn place every where tells him that Obama's the man for the job.

Yes, he's offering full-throated support. In his first Commander-in-Chief decision, choosing a running mate, he "hit it out of the park." (For you non-baseball readers, that's a baseball reference. But probably not enough of one to offer you some eye candy in this post.) "Barack Obama is ready to be president of the United States."

President Bill has been the one accused of being a whiny bastard. Hell, at times, I thought he was going insane. But Bill is a political animal, and he knows when it's time to go kick some ass. And that seems to be what he's doing now.

Bill is smarmy and charming both. It's disarming. I want to sleep with him, and yet I'm repulsed. He touches me, yet I recoil. He moves me, yet I feel sick.

He's also smart as hell. I think he wrote this today. He could very well be speaking off-the-cuff. He just knows shit.

Cut to Michelle: she looks very happy. The crowd chants, "Yes, he can!" Bill says, "Yes, he can, but first we have to elect him!"

Now he's making a very good, clear case against John McCain. This is where Bill Clinton is at his very best. He knows how to take someone apart, logically and simply.

He just called Biden's wife "fabulous" in a way that made me want to lock up my daughter. I don't have a daughter, of course (that I know of), but still...

And Clinton is done. And oh, he's very good.

Shields and Yarnell give him a thumbs up. Bill Clinton offered the rebuttal to the "experience issue." They're so positive that they've run out of things to say.

Cut to the floor. They love Bill on the floor.

And the historians? Oh, but I love the historians. They're talking about how he redefined the Democratic Party. In other words, it's more conservative (my assessment). Dammit. We left the historians too soon. I like the historians. Have I mentioned that yet?

So, Shields and Yarnell, how much does Bill Clinton help Obama? Shields says it puts doubts to rest. Yarnell gets cut off by John Kerry, who's about to speak.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Hillary Clinton

I keep thinking she's about to come out. But now the organic farmer/Governor of Montana is speaking. Now this guy's dynamic! It's all about the bolo tie, baby! Bring it, Schweitzer! Oh, he's getting the crowd going! "That's it, baby! Let's go win this election!" That's how he closed. Well done, Brian Schweitzer. Even Yarnell says we need more of this.

Finally! The tribute film for Hillary! It's a rockin' film, with splices of her speeches. The music has gone from Tom Petty to movie soundtrack classical! It's building! It's showing some Barack, too, this film. Oh, this is political propaganda at its best, people. And it features Chelsea Clinton's voice-over too.

Chelsea's introducing her. Here's my prediction: Chelsea Clinton will be the first female president of the United States. I hope it doesn't take that long, but she'll be the one if it does.

Hillary's got a bright orange pantsuit on. Oh, pantsuits, is there no color you can't be?

The missus is awake and moved. I tell you, this political theater works. But wait! Hillary speaks! At least she's trying to, but the crowd just keeps going and going.

Hillary's really been unwavering in her support for Barack, and the speech begins that way. Unite now, people! Fight and win together! She's doing exactly what she's supposed to. "No way, no how, no McCain." Hey, now... that's pretty catchy.

This tradition of individual anecdotes in politics is boring. A little too... cliche. I guess it works, but still. I'm done with them.

Now she's hitting the litany of issues, explaining why she ran for president and why she now supports Barack.

She's doing a callback on those individual anecdotes. She's not done with them. But she's using them as a challenge to the people who supported her but are lukewarm (or worse) to Obama. Maybe that works. She's definitely doing what the Party wants her to do.

And she's making a specific case for Barack now. "We did it before with President Clinton," (cut to Clinton leaning back in chair smugly) "and we can do it again with President Obama!"

Look out... Here come the attacks on McCain... More of the same! It's crap! We don't need that shit here! Ixnay on the Ohn-Jay IcCain-May! (I paraphrase.)

Good zinger about Bush/McCain's appropriate convention in the Twin Cities, "because it's so hard to tell them apart!"

The history geek in me loves the Harriet Tubman references. Keep going! Keep going! And to keep going we need to get going to elect Barack Obama!

Heh. She just said, "Duty."

OK, so Hillary just did very well. The missus and I were just discussing how much better she's gotten as a speaker since her campaign began six years ago (or whenever it was she began her campaign).

So what do Shields and Yarnell think? Shields says she did everything that could've been expected. I agree. And so does Yarnell, who also liked the "keep going" stuff. Maybe I'm a safe, reasonable conservative after all.

And the historians? Historian 1 thought it was a remarkable speech. Historian 2 thinks Eleanor Roosevelt would be proud. Historian 3 thinks she could've been more specific on changing her mind about earlier criticisms of Obama. Historian 2 thinks that would've been overkill and unbelievable.

On the floor Gwen Ifill thinks that generally the unity theme was successful.

They all continue to talk, way past my bedtime.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Pre-Hillary Clinton

Hillary should be coming out here soon.

Shields and Yarnell agreed that Michelle Obama is an impressive woman. Yarnell seemed downright blushy and embarrassed talking about her. What a cute, safe conservative he is.

Governor Deval Patrick of Massachusetts is up now. Poor bastard. People are antsy for Hillary. Maybe I'm projecting. I'm ready for Hillary. Bring out Hillary!

The missus has dozed off waiting. These Western time zone events are killers on us working people on the East Coast. Why does this shit have to be so late? You know, China is bigger than the United States, or at least it's nearly as big (I don't feel like looking it up), and it has exactly one time zone. Why can't we be more like China?

The historians are back! My first sight of the historians on Night 2! I love the historians because I'm a geek. They're talking about women in history. There really were women in history! Who knew? Actually, they're talking about genuinely interesting things, particularly the shift in the parties from the late 70s to early 80s. I can't summarize here. Too much.

I do like those historians.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Mark Warner

Former Governor and current Senate candidate Mark Warner of Virginia is the official keynote speaker.

Leading into Warner's speech is Lily Ledbetter who lost her case before the Supreme Court. It's a compelling story too complicated to summarize here, but suffice to say, she got screwed out of pay because she's a woman. It was a truly bullshit decision by this right-wing court of ours.

I've got mixed feelings about this Mark Warner character, so let's see what he's got to say about things. The missus says he's toothy. She's nothing if not observant.

Apparently, Mark Warner has more money than God, if he's talking about his success as an early adopter of the cell phone industry.

Now that I'm looking, I'm noticing that Warner spends a lot of time licking his teeth and lips. It's a bit distracting.

Warner's giving me a feeling of "meh." He lacks dynamism. The content's good. He even said, "infrastructure," which as my three readers know I find sexy.

The missus just started kissing me, which is a lot more interesting. Yeah, so I did that for a while. Who's speaking?

Oh, it's still Warner. He's talking about common ground. And he's still licking his lips and teeth.

Now he's touting his accomplishments as Governor. He's thinking 2016 right now. He got some kid a high-tech job. Well done, Governor. He acknowledged that it's difficult to be the next keynote speaker after Barack Obama four years ago. It's good he mentioned it because he's nowhere near as good.

Jim Lehrer just said that Warner founded Nextel. Yeah, so he really does have more money than God, so that's nice for him.

Our political parties are corporations run by corporate raiders. It's actually a bit surprising that I'm not voting for Nader because he's totally right about that.

But I guess I'm willing to give one of the two major parties one more shot. Don't fucking blow it, Democrats.

Shields and Yarnell are discussing the speech and the convention so far. Yarnell's all, "These people are rhetorically boring." Shields is more forgiving of the rhetoric.

An interview with Michelle Obama follows. She seems pretty comfortable in an interview, too.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Bob Casey, Jr.

He just haaaaaaaad to mention that's he's pro-life, didn't he?

Aaaaaah, we knew it was coming, since his father was famously barred from giving a pro-life speech at the 1992 election. And now the Democrats care less about fighting for that issue, I guess.

Bob's bringing some zingers. He's got everyone chanting, "Four more months," so that's nice.

And at the end, the camera cut to Jimmy Carter, which is even nicer.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Kathleen Sebelius

The Kansas Governor is speaking. I don't know that much about her, although I try to pay a little bit of attention, since I grew up in the Sunflower State and all. I like what I know about her.

But her response to the State of the Union address earlier this year was totally lackluster.

Tonight she's a bit better, perhaps, but she still lacks energy or something. More appealing than the last time she appeared on national television, though. But I want more fire. I mean, she's actually attacking John McCain, but there's no real passion behind it. Hit him, and hit him hard, Kathleen!

In my high school class, the guy voted Most Dreamed About shot up his jeans with buckshot and started a trend. That's Kansas, baby!

Add some goddamned buckshot to this argument, and you're onto something! Fire away, Kansasette!

Yeah, she's OK, but she really could've kicked more ass. Kansans kick ass. Where's the ass-kick?

Or at least they shoot shit with buckshot. Next time, shoot 'em up, Sebelius!

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Night 2

Tonight is Hillary's night, of course, and all the talk is whether or not those PUMA (that's Party United My Ass) people will get in line behind the candidate who won the primary (that would be Barack Obama).

Katha Pollitt, who writes about "women's issues" over at The Nation (click to the right - too lazy to set up a link), is stalking delegates at the Convention, partly to get to the bottom of this. A couple of women she's talked to think that probably a lot of these so-called PUMAs were actually McCain supporters all along. Seems like a reasonable theory to me. There's certainly no other rational explanation.

So I'm just gearing up for the night's events, and a laid off mill worker from North Carolina was pretty compelling. The rich lady following a little less so. But then I've been getting this post going and not really paying attention, so maybe that's not fair.

Next is Kathleen Sebelius. Maybe I'll give her her own post.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Michelle Obama

While we wait for Michelle Obama, we get a boring Republican Jim Leach, former congressman from Iowa. The missus thinks he sounds like Kermit the Frog, and I must admit that she's right. So it's great to have a Republican speaking in support of Obama and all, but this guy is dry as toast. He's making good points, but he sure is hard to listen to.

We also get a little Senator Claire McCaskill, an early Obama supporter. She's fine, but let's face it: we want ourselves some Michelle Obama now. Claire's talking about herself a little too much. But then at least she transitioned to talking about Michelle and Barack. "Their stories are American stories." Oh, I see what you're getting at, Claire. The Obamas are American, in spite of their color and funny name.

Here comes the Michelle tribute film. With the piano music, the missus starts crying. Michelle had some big hair when she graduated high school. And we heard the how-they-met story. Very cute, I guess. A perfectly good tribute film. I know more about Michelle Obama than I did before the film.

Craig Robinson, Michelle's brother, introduces her. He just shouted, "Go Beavers!" which is always a surprise in a political setting. Oh, he's a basketball coach. That makes a lot more sense. And here she is...

Michelle just said literally. Hm...

She seems remarkably comfortable giving this speech. I'm more nervous for her now than she is, so that's a good sign. In fact, she looks like she's full-on in her element, like she's been speaking in convention centers in front of thousands of people since the day she was born.

And the content? She made a pretty strong argument for why she loves America. I believe her. And only an asshole would think she's insincere. But the assholes will come out, I suspect. Who'll be first? Romney or Giuliani?

OK, so how did she do that? "Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder plays. Yes, I think she might be.

Oh, looky. There's Barack, making jokes about being persistent. Children are speaking in microphones. It's chaos. How on earth did they agree to hand the mics over to children? That could've been a disaster. "Hey, Daddy! How's the rash?"

What do Shields and Yarnell think? Shields liked the diversity of the evening and the spirit of opportunity. Yarnell thought the Democrats had a good night, but thought Michelle missed a chance to humanize Barack. Yarnell was looking for something to criticize, so he made something up.

And the historians? Well, they disagree with Yarnell. Historian 1 saw Michelle in a context of other trailblazing African-American women. Historian 2 thought as presidential spouses go, she did very well, and thought the chaos of the girls earned him about two million votes. Historian 3 thinks it's more like four million. They presented a happy, loving family.

The reporter on the floor said even the press was rapt during Michelle's speech. If you can win those jackasses over, you can win over regular people.

Now, they're looking forward to tomorrow evening's festivities.

Good first night pep rally, Democrats. You sure know how to party.

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Ted Kennedy

Jimmy Carter's long-time fellow Democratic rival Ted Kennedy got himself a proper tribute as well.

Ted Kennedy is pretty amazing, too. Like all Kennedys, it seems, Ted was personally quite flawed. Drinking, scandals, and more.

We had the conventions on TV in my house growing up, and I have some early memories of fiery speeches coming out of the Liberal Lion. In spite of the ugly 1980 primary challenge (which I was way too young to appreciate), I've always liked both Ted and Jimmy, even if they don't much like each other.

The tribute to Ted got the missus crying. I felt a tear forming but didn't break.

Then Ted himself came out. The man's got a goddamned brain tumor, and he gave a speech. Yes, he looked a little sick. But he fucking walked out, he stood there, his timing was good, his voice occasionally faltered, his Boston accent flared appropriately, he got too close to the microphone a couple of times...

But fucking hell... Ted Kennedy has a fucking brain tumor, and he gave a fucking speech. And a pretty goddamned good one, even when thinking about the speeches we've gotten used to from Barack Obama.

And David Brooks (a.k.a. Yarnell) just called Ted Kennedy the greatest senator in the United States. And usually I dismiss Yarnell as a non-confrontational, conservative yutz. But I guess I'll accept something he says if I agree with it.

After all, this Convention is all about unity!

Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Jimmy Carter

I'm watching what I can of the convention this week. That is to say that I'm not stopping the other activities in my life to watch every minute of this thing. But when I'm here, I'll be watching and writing.

The missus and I love the PBS coverage of political pep rallies. It's all a hubbub already, so who needs the screaming pundits. We like the Jim Lehrer, Gwen Ifill, and Shields and Yarnell (a.k.a. Mark Shields as the liberal voice and David Brooks as the safe conservative), and I don't mind telling you that the geek in me enjoys the hell out of those historians who put it all in a context.

The PBS coverage is not terribly slick. Lots of "uhs" and sound problems, and it makes me feel good about their focus on content over fancy graphics. Of course, they don't have budgets for all that fancy stuff.

The first bit I caught on TV was an interview with Jimmy Carter. Boy, he sure does make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Even with a popped blood vessel in his eye, he exuded goodness.

I was four years old in 1976 when Jimmy Carter ran for president against Gerald Ford. I loved Jimmy Carter. I even had a smiling peanut keychain. I wish I knew where that damned thing was today. I had it surprisingly recently, but couldn't find it when I did a search a couple of years ago.

My parents didn't understand why a four year old would love a presidential candidate so much, but I loved him. I fucking loved him, even before I knew how to say fucking.

Even today, I get all goosepimply when I see that smile on TV talking about the issues I care most about too. The man builds a shitload of houses, he hands out medicine in Africa, he has lust in his heart!

Jimmy Carter is the best damned ex-president we've got.

Literally

So Barack Obama announced his running mate Joe "Bubba" Biden (Obama said that's what people called him as a kid, so I assume it's an accepted nickname).

Biden gave a speech, which wasn't bad at all, but I particularly noticed that he used the word literally a lot. Things are literally worse than they were eight years ago. The American Dream is literally falling off a cliff. Those may not be actual quotes from Bubba, but he definitely overused literally during his speech.

Well, literally has made its first noticeable appearance in the Obama fundraising emails, the latest of which features this line:

But make no mistake about what we're up against. John McCain has embraced the same old politics of fear, division, and Karl Rove-style attacks -- which makes sense coming from someone who's voted with George Bush literally 95% of the time.

Is it literal, though? I mean, George Bush doesn't even have a vote in the Senate. But I guess I know what they mean.

I'm going to be keeping my eye on this use of literally, in literally everything I hear and read from the Obama campaign over the next ten weeks.

It's Like, "No Duh!"

Obviously there's a hell of a lot of political news going on this week, and I'm finding it hard to resist holding out for my weekend What Stood Out posting. So there's one separate-but-related item I'd like to point out.

Some of you may remember the 2004 presidential candidacy of Howard Dean. I was an early Dean supporter. I'd stop short of calling myself a Deaniac, but his was the first political campaign I donated to. So when it became clear his candidacy wasn't going to come of anything, and we were going to be left with Mr. Personality as the Democratic nominee to face off against the most dangerous presidential administration in history, I feared that Dean would disappear into the background of politics never to be heard from again.

Instead, Howard got himself elected Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, much to the chagrin of party establishment insiders. It turns out that this is a perfectly good place for him to be. He had ideas, you see. Rather than shifting the entire party to the middle to reach out for Wall Street bucks (like, say, Terry McAuliffe), Dean thought maybe we should actually compete and organize locally. Like, in all 50 states.

Before Dean, the DNC didn't even have paid staff members in every state. I'm going to repeat that: The fucking Democratic Party national organization didn't have people in every state. But under this new idea, rather than focus on a few key battleground states every single election and pour millions into those places and ignore everyone else, Dean and the DNC would offer every state resources to put up a good goddamn fight.

Now, to most of us, this seems about as logical as arriving to a job interview on time. Dean had to fight for it. My own senator Chuck Schumer thought Dean was an idiot. Most of Bill Clinton's money people (who really did a hell of a job fundraising, I admit) thought Dean was flushing money down the toilet. All sorts of in-fighting took place, some private, some public.

Then the 2006 midterm elections validated Dean's approach. Or so you would think. But a movement persisted to try to stop Dean wasting time and money in places like Mississippi that Democrats will "never win" and go back to the old way that served President Clinton so well.

Meanwhile, Dean's 50-state strategy has continued to work. The Democrats recently won a special election in Mississippi, where Democrats never win.

And yet, still, there was talk about ousting Dean. Some people speculated that the primary would determine Dean's fate. Many of Hillary's supporters (including Terry McAuliffe, of course) still think the strategy is crap. If she'd won, Dean's tenure as head of the DNC could well have ended.

Of course, she didn't. And Obama was a community organizer, as we now hear so often. So he understands the value of a genuine local grassroots base and heartily supports Dean's 50-state strategy.

Today, Obama confirmed it: Dean stays. Obama's also gotten the DNC to agree not to take lobbyist or PAC money. This shit was unheard of four years ago (under Terry McAuliffe).

Dean's 50-state strategy was intended to be a long-term strategy. Even Dean expressed surprise that the 2006 midterms were so successful, and perhaps other factors were at play (people's dislike for Bush finally reach a tipping point?). So it's not clear exactly how much affect the strategy will have on this year's general election.

But there's no doubt in my mind that Obama's the candidate to test it. Although he still needs to convince a large part of the Democratic Party base, he's proven that he's got massive independent appeal, which potentially puts a lot of new states in play. Virginia's the most obvious possible red-turned-blue state, but just about everything out west could be on that list and even a few places in the south.

And remember: Barack Obama hasn't really started running against John McCain yet.

I've been burned on numerous occasions when I've raised my expectations of the American people. But today I'm still cautiously optimistic.

And seriously, Dean's 50-state strategy is as obvious as Dick Cheney's sense of humor. The Democrats have a long history of fucking up good things, but hopefully this one stays around for the time being.

After All, Celebrity Endorsements Are Paid For

So why should political endorsements be any different?

On Monday, Tom Vilsack, the first Democratic presidential candidate dropout, endorsed Hillary Clinton.

On Tuesday, Team Hillary agreed to "absorb" Vilsack's $400,000 in campaign debt.

There's absolutely no connection, you twisted cynics.

Vilsack Out

And I'm not implying that he's gay.

Tom Vilsack was the first to be cut from the Democratic Team. Despite batting .089 and being constantly overlooked for pinch-hitting duties, Tom resented that some of the other star players were getting paid a whole lot more than he was.

Yes, it was the money that Tom blamed. But players from Iowa often become coaches, getting behind their favorite players with the hope that they'll end up with a contract in the bigs.

So Vilsack may be cut from the roster, but remaining players will still be looking for some tips.

Maybe they'll be looking to boost their batting averages 89 points.

Subpoena Power, Baby!

My biggest concern is that last night's Democratic victory will be mostly symbolic. I mean, if they live up to their reputation of being feckless weenies, there will ultimately be no point to this victory. But hell, I'll take whatever victory I can get these days, even a symbolic one.

I'll allow myself to focus on the positive for a moment. The Senate is still undecided, but even if that ends up going Republican, the Democrats now have subpoena power in the House. And the chairfolks of some of those powerful committees are pretty progressive. Charles Rangel on House Ways & Means. Barney Frank on Finance. Henry Waxman on Government Reform. If these three men live up to their reputations (and obligations), they might just insist that the Bush administration is held accountable for the many disasters of the past six years. Oh, that's a tasty prospect.

And a special shout-out to Nancy Pelosi, first female Speaker of the House. Nice job, lady. You're third in line for the Presidency. I've got only one complaint about you as Speaker. You're too svelte. Not "fat cat" enough. You need more jowls. See Dennis Hastert for direction.

The Road Trip's Off to a Good Start

During my regular morning news trolling, I came upon a headline (I think from HuffPo) stating that a few major political operatives are putting together the Democratic Party's "Road Map" to the 2008 election.

I've got some high hopes for the Democratic Party in 2008. You see, there's a "Road Map" in the Israel/Palestine conflict, too, and it's working out pretty well.

More Debates, Please

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

The door is open to the Governor's office, here, in New York, and Eliot Spitzer is halfway through it. His reign as Attorney General has been eventful, and he's been fond of taking on Wall Street corruption. Me likey.

He's a Democrat with balls. I was talking to a guy who'd met him, and he says that Spitzer is an incredible asshole, but even that doesn't much bother me. He's a fighter. Ballstastic.

By the way, Spitzer still has two elections to get through. In the primary he's facing one Tom Suozzi of Long Island. All I know about Tom Suozzi is that one of his best friends is dating a good friend of mine. Tom's got just over $2 million in the bank, to Eliot's $6.5 million. Meanwhile, the Republican nominee, a guy named Faso, has raised just over $1 million. Considering George Pataki, a Republican, has held the office for 12 years, this seems like very little money to me.

Actually, $1,000,000 seems like a lot of money to me, and if it were mine, I'd feel a great sense of relief. But in politics, you know, it's like loose change.

Suozzi and Faso have been written off. Spitzer is ahead of both of them in the polls, something like 70% to 20%.

But Suozzi and Spitzer had their only debate last night, summarized in The New York Times, and it made me realize that the only way to really learn about candidates is through debates. They're forced to state their positions clearly, while dodging and tossing colorful attacks on their opponents. But here's what I know now:

- Spitzer is pro-death penalty. Suozzi is anti-death penalty.

- Spitzer is pro-gay marriage. Suozzi is anti-gay marriage.

- Spitzer is anti-medical marijuana. Suozzi is pro-medical marijuana.

- Both oppose a timetable out of Iraq.

- Spitzer says he's not interested in being president. Suozzi admitted to having presidential ambitions.

- Spitzer owns an iPod. Suozzi has no iPod.

That's a decent amount of information. And neither of them stand where I'd like them to on everything. No weed? Come on, Eliot! No iPod? Come on, Tom! No timetable? Damn you, Democrats!

So I come out of this debate with the election a foregone conclusion. And neither of the candidates stands with me on all the issues. Elections are nothing but compromise.

But I wouldn't have known how much compromise I'd be making with my vote in September and November without the debate. And surely that's a good thing.

Let's Talk About God

I've never been a big fan of the Democratic Leadership Council, which came to prominence during Bill Clinton's reign as party leader. They're the group that's been pushing the Democratic Party to the right, in an attempt to woo moderate Republican voters.

Because of how full-on terrible the current administration is, Democrats look back on Bill Clinton's presidency with fondness. But thanks partially to the DLC, Clinton's two major accomplishments in office were welfare reform and the passage of NAFTA, both Republican agenda items. Yes, I liked Bill better than Dubya, but there's no need to herald him as a great representative of the people or anything.

And the DLC is turning the Democratic Party into Republican Party Lite. It's no wonder nobody understand what the Democratic Party stands for.

So now the DLC is pushing to get Democrats to talk about religion.

That's an idiotic blanket approach to winning elections. Does anyone remember how silly Howard Dean sounded when he started talking about his faith? Nice try, bub. John Kerry, too, sounded like a fucking moron when talking about his faith. Even if Howard and John have genuinely deep beliefs that come directly out of their religious faiths, their spirituality was clearly a private matter. As soon as they made their spirituality public, they seethed with disingenuousness and discomfort. George W. Bush has the most warped theological views on the planet, but his religion is something he's felt comfortable keeping on his sleeve for decades now. A non-church-going, semi-religious candidate is not going to be able to talk about his or her belief in God with any sincerity if it's all part of an election ploy.

If talking about one's own spirituality is something that comes naturally to the candidate, fine. Barack Obama does it with extreme ease, and there's nothing about his religious beliefs that come off as insincere. Same with Joe Lieberman, actually. I disagree with him a lot of the time, but the public expression of his faith is genuine.

But you can't just talk about God to win elections. It's superficial, and as stupid as the electorate is, they know bullshit when they see it.

And just because the DLC declares it, doesn't make it so. It's up for debate whether or not a sincere expression of religious views helps win elections. A progressive, religious Democrat is not going to win over the voters for whom religious belief is a non-negotiable issue. They're still going to vote for the hate-mongering, right-wing fanatics.

Because, you know, that's What Jesus Would Do.

Don't Tease Me, Democrats

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Yes, I've called the Democratic Party feckless and weak and many other names too inappropriate to mention here, even though it's usually been here that I've called them those names.

About once a mid-term I find myself pleased with the Democrats. And I think maybe they're onto something here.

In a few states with close elections, Democrats have set up ballot initiatives to raise the minimum wage. Since $5.15 has been the national minimum wage for eight years, and $5.15 doesn't go as far as it did in '98 (remember when you could buy a dozen Krispy Kremes, ten packs of baseball cards, and a full tank of gas for $5.15?), most sane people don't think it's unreasonable to give it a little hike. Full-time work without a vacation should pay more than $10,000 a year, a solid majority agrees.

Finally, the Democrats have some Republican candidates on the run. How can Tricky Rick Santorum justify his own pay-raise when he stands so solidly against raising the minimum wage? Ohio's Mike "I Loves Me" DeWine even voted to raise it, knowing full well that the Senate didn't have enough votes reach the necessary sixty to override a filibuster (filibustering against the poor? Genius!) Oh, I like to see stodgy white men squirm.

And there's a movement to take it further, which I wholeheartedly support. Hillary Clinton (who I've got my share of disagreements with -- hello, Iraq) and others have proposed canceling automatic (automatic!) congressional pay raises until something is done about the minimum wage, too.

It's a no-brainer issue the Democrats can win every time. Which leads me, of course, to the obvious question: How will the Democrats screw it up this time?

Shame On... Representative Berman

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

So there was all this financial disclosure by the US Congress today. Our country is run by a group of rich pricks. Shocking.

One of the choicest cuts of financial reporting meat comes out of the House Ethics Committee. They took nearly $1 million in privately-sponsored travel. And Democrats on the committee got a much bigger piece of the travel pie.

Representative Howard Berman, Democrat from California, led the pack, with $245,000 worth of free travel. Where in the fuck is he going? And how in the fuck is he getting there?

Shame on you, Representative Howard Berman. You're setting a bad ethical example. And shame on Gene Green, Democrat of Texas ($198,000 of free travel). And shame on Stephanie Tubbs Jones, Democrat of Ohio ($130,000). And shame on Mike Doyle, Democrat of Pennsylvania ($95,000). Berman, Green, Jones, and Doyle make up the top four House Ethics Committee travelers.

Shame on you. Shame.

[Thanks for sharing the link, HuffPo.]

Shame On... Senator Biden

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I was reading a little bit more about the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage because it gets me mad. (It gets me mad, too, because it's distracting me from the real issues of the day, and I'm aware that this is precisely its purpose. Crafty right-wing freaks.)

Anyway, most reasonable members of Congress are against the no-gay-marriage amendment because they understand that adding prejudice to the Constitution is shameful and immoral. You know, all men are created equal and all that.

But then there's Senator Biden's rationale. On Meet the Press, Biden said, and I paraphrase, "Why do we need an amendment? We've already got the Defense of Marriage Act."

Shame on you, Senator Biden. Shame on you for implying that the premise behind the proposed anti-gay amendendment is fine even if it's unnecessary. Shame on you for wading into some kind of moral middle ground. Shame on you for demonstrating once again that Democrats don't actually stand for goodness, acceptance, and forward-thinking, but rather, that Democrats are calculating, cowardly, and hesitant.

Shame On Senator Joseph Biden of Delaware.

Maybe "Shame On" will become another regular feature, here, at B&E. Ultimately, I suppose, it will be up to members of the Democratic Party.

Stupid Liberals

President Bush's approval ratings have hit yet another all-time low. This is a sentence being typed so often by journalists and bloggers that many have created short-cut keys. Sort of like when Roger Cedeno was playing outfield for the Mets, I became convinced that New York sports writers had created a short-cut key for "Cedeno misplayed a routine fly ball, resulting in a triple."

Anyway, Dubya's now at 31% approval. That's pretty low. And yet, nearly one out of three still approve. That's hard to fathom.

But the part of the poll that astounds me most is that 7% of those who self-identify as liberals approve of the job Bush is doing.

What this poll really reveals is that 7% of liberals aren't liberal.

Cowards Again

Sorry, I mean, still. Russell "Superfine" Feingold wants to censure the president, and rightly so. As expected, such a bold move has received major applause from Democratic Party leaders.

Oh, wait, no it hasn't. They're all running as far from Russ as possible, as if he's responsible for the stench emanating from politics these days.

Well, Russell, you strong, attractive man. I heartily embrace you. I cuddle close to you and run my fingers through your Jewfro, even as cropped close as your image demands it to be. I'm a straight man, and I want to make sweet, sweet love to you, Russell Feingold. Back that shit up over here...

It's That Time of Week Again

Yes, it's time for the Democratic Party Women's Vote Center Week in Review email!

With South Dakota and now Mississippi passing bills making abortion illegal, the Democratic Party Women's Vote Center has put this issue at the top of its email for this week.

Oh, wait, no it didn't. Instead it sent out a fluff piece about March being Women's History Month. Gee, let's take a look at how great women are.

Dude. I love women. I'm married to one of the best ever. I have the coolest sister in the world. Some of my best friends are women. I even love my mother; she's a neat lady. So I'm not against pointing out the accomplishments of women. It's a fine thing to do. Women are great.

But more so than in decades, a woman's right to choose is under attack, when a clear majority of Americans believe that abortion should be safe and legal. And there's exactly one veiled reference to the issue, and for the love of Pete it comes from a man. Howard Dean writes, "We will continue to fight to protect a woman's right to make her own personal health care decisions."

There you have it: The head of the Democratic National Committee has taken the words "pro-choice" out of the abortion debate.

Man, the Democratic Party can't even preach to the choir correctly.

Turn The Goddamn Radar On!

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

So you might be surprised to learn that I'm on just about every lefty political email list there is. I don't remember actually signing up for any of them, but there it is. The most diligent emailer by far is the Democratic Party, and one of the most tedious regular emails I receive is from the Democratic Party Women's Vote Center. This is because I hate women.

Oh, and also because originally, their emails literally took a half-hour to read. I couldn't believe how long they were, and I couldn't imagine anyone who would sit there and read them. Even the choir would get bored by this particular preacher.

They seem to have learned their lesson somewhat, and the emails have gotten shorter. They've also lost their substance.

Anyone who's been paying attention to the news this week will be aware that the South Dakota legislature just outlawed abortion in the state. The bill is currently awaiting both signature from the governor and a showdown with the new right-wing Supreme Court. Good times.

So naturally, the Democratic Party Women's Vote Center went to town about this. Oh, wait, no they didn't. They didn't even fucking mention it at all.

Now, some of you may be surprised to learn that I'm a dude. I got balls and everything. And I'm infuriated by the idea that abortion might once again be illegal. I would imagine that most women who even remotely consider themselves feminist or liberated or whatever term they choose (it's all about choice after all) are even angrier.

And those women (and we men who love those women and believe in their inherent equality, if not superiority) have no major party to turn to.

Thanks again, Democrats. You've always got your finger on the pulse of things that matter most.

There's a Vague Sense of Something Unfamiliar. Any Idea What It Might Be?

There's an article in The New York Times I won't bother linking to. It's about how some Democrats feel like maybe they're missing an opportunity to take advantage of Republican vulnerabilities, particularly as the midterm elections approach. Since everyone knows this already, it ends up being a stupid article written about a bunch of stupid idiots.

Democrats' Crappy Slogans

Is there not a single former ad-man or woman on the Democratic Party payrolls?

I previously complained about "Together, America Can Do Better." Ridiculous.

So back in 1994, Newt Gingrich put forth "The Contract With America," all about reforming Congress' corrupt (and Democratic) ways. The catchy slogan helped Republicans win back the House and Senate, and they've been getting more corrupt every day since. Naturally, the Democrats have pounced! Pounced like a beached whale! Oh, say, can you pounce!

When the Democrats announced their feckless reform plan yesterday, it was entitled, "Democratic Declaration of Honest Leadership and Open Government." I just fell asleep while writing that out. Those bastards can't get anything right.

I mean, come on, people! Everyone knows that if you propose a plan with no substance whatsoever, the least you need to do is give it a snappy slogan.

Oh, For the Love Of...

The Democrats seems to be taking a new slogan for a test drive: "Together, America Can Do Better."

Excuse me? To whom does "together" refer? America is singular. The slogan doesn't make any sense.

I'm thinking about all the high-level Democrats that must've read and approved this slogan, and man, oh, manischewitz, we are in some real fucking trouble.

GET IT TOGETHER, PEOPLE!

OK, So Now What?

Harry Reid closed the Senate yesterday to hash out a compromise to investigate the pre-war intelligence (and its distortion, one would hope). Harry is proving himself to be occasionally bold, but I'm still skeptical that proper follow-up will take place. The Democrats aren't famous for their stick-to-itiveness.

David Sirota has a few important follow-up questions I hope the Democrats take to heart. And from there, Elizabeth de la Vega lays out a simple legal explanation defining the conspiracy perpetrated by the White House. So let's widen Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, Department of Justice. Make some shit happen, heh?

Why is it that I still fear the Democrats are totally gonna fuck this up?

They're Totally Gonna Fuck It Up, Aren't They?

In 1994, in the wake of a whole slew of scandals in the Democratic Party, the Republicans created the famous "Contract With America" and, led by the kind-hearted Newt Gingrich, won back Congress for the first time in 40 years.

So after 11 years it's now up to the Democrats to capitalize on the idiocies of Dubya, Katrina, the War in Iraq, FEMA's cronyism, bin Laden's continued freedom, The Hammer, Frisky Frist, Jack Abramoff, the dumbest social security plan ever, no-bid contracts to friends, rising gas prices, and alienating our allies (those are just off the top of my head). I mean, if the Democrats can't win Congress back in 2006 after all that crap -- and they haven't done much to show me they can -- I'm not sure they deserve to be one of the two parties in the two-party system.

Give 'Em Hell, Harry II

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I have not always been impressed with Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid. His rise to power coincided with Bush's victory, which at the time was attributed to the so-called "moral values" vote. In response, the Democrats, in their typical let's-show-the-people-what-we-really-stand-for way, named the pro-life Reid to lead them in the Senate. So the man's always had at least one strike against him in my scorebook.

I even named him Dickhead of the Week a few short months ago, until he got out Dickheaded by Frisky Frist, and I was forced to change winners.

But Harry's shown some fire of late. After what I considered to be a rocky start when dealing with the "nuclear option," he wrote Frisky an open letter, saying the closest thing to "Bring It On" a Democrat can pull off.

Harry's also become the first Democrat outside the Senate judiciary committee to say he'll vote "no" on Supreme Court Chief Justice nominee John Roberts. At this point, crusty liberal Ted Kennedy is the only other person on the record opposing Roberts. And Ted wouldn't be Ted if he didn't do the crusty liberal thing.

It appears the liberal lobbying groups have Harry's ear, and I find this to be the most heartening news. He came to his decision after meeting with the likes of NOW and NAACP, and others. Maybe liberal web activism does make an occasional difference.

Roberts will surely be confirmed, unless the currently unreleased memos get released and reveal him to be a member of the KKK, and Harry's stance may be symbolic only. But I like that he's laying the groundwork for the fight on the second Supreme Court nominee.

Now, Harry, I'd just ask that you follow through and really fight when the time comes. Be the balls of the Democratic Party. They've been shriveled for a long, long time.