What Stood Out This Week - 5/25-5/31

Is this fucking thing still going on? Yes, it fucking is. So let's see What Stood Out This Week...

The Republican

John McCain attended a fundraiser with President Bush. I guess the man needs Bushie's money. It was also closed off to the media to limit the number of photos of Bushie and McCain together.

Meanwhile, Johnny Mac can't seem to get rid of his lobbyist problem. Looks like everyone in his campaign team is having to quit these days. Oh, yeah. He's trustworthy.

If I were a Republican, I'd be feeling mighty nervous that my candidate isn't taking better advantage of the bickering Democrats.

The Democrats

Today's the day for some sort of decision from the DNC about the Florida and Michigan delegates. I'd just like to remind my dear B&E readers that primary voting isn't actually a constitutional right. Each state party decides who participates and how with approval from the national party. People of undeclared party in New York cannot vote in a primary election. Are they disenfranchised? No. Because they can vote in the general election. Primaries aren't the same thing at all.

The state parties in Florida and Michigan broke party rules by changing the dates of their primaries. To blame the national party or a particular candidate for the state parties fucking it up for their state's primary voters is unfair to say the least.

Anyway, some sort of compromise will probably be reached today.

Puerto Rico votes tomorrow (even though PR is not a state and its residents can't vote in the general election). Then finally, on Tuesday, the final contests: Montana and South Dakota, I think.

Even Hillary suspects that after Tuesday's elections, the bulk of the undecided superdelegates will finally make their decisions and give us an official nominee, once and for all.

So this week felt very much like a let's-wait-until-next-week week.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

Richie Was Having a Great Time

There's this art event happening in New York and London for the next few weeks, and I went to check it out this morning. It's the Telectroscope! If you want to know more about the Telectroscope and the myth the artist made up around it, you can follow the link.

What the Telectroscope does, in short, is allow Londoners to see New Yorkers, and New Yorkers Londoners. Just so you know you're really looking at London, New Yorkers get a view of the Tower Bridge in the background. Londoners get to see Lower Manhattan.

Because I'm a shallow simpleton, I tend to like gimmicky art. And I thought it would be fun to go check this sucker out and see if I could also catch a glimpse of a college friend now living in London. I went with another college friend (read her excellent review here), who pondered, "Wouldn't Skype be a lot easier and better since you can actually speak to each other?" "Yes," I said, "but this is art!"

When we got there, it was just us and a guy named Richie.

Our friend wasn't on the other side. We were a little early so we just sorta hung out for a while.

They had a whole system going on the London side. Giant crowds were being corralled a few at a time in front of the lens to spread their messages of good cheer or, more often, "What's your name?" written on the whiteboards provided. Richie wrote, "I'm Richie" probably about a dozen times in the ten minutes we were gawking at Londoners.

Meanwhile, I didn't know what to write (what do you want from me? I'm a writer), so I just sort of stood there awkwardly, somehow realizing that I was one-third of the people representing New York to the thousands of Londoners on the opposite side of this Telectroscope. Not only that, but we learned that the Londoners were being charged a pound to come up close to this thing, so I felt the pressure of giving them their money's worth. At least I was wearing my Mets cap, so I felt like a real New Yorker representing some real New York. A Yankees cap wearer in London didn't recognize the Mets logo. How does that work?

So you stand there with your whiteboards and try to communicate. Every two minutes or so, new Londoners were marched in front of the Telectroscope. Here's how they looked:

You can barely read the fucking whiteboards. But hey, look! The Tower Bridge!

Richie meanwhile was instructing the Londoners, through charades, how to hold their signs to make them legible. When you could finally read the goddamn things you learned some other stranger's name. Terrific. "Hi, Sophie, I'm Richie."

Because it was just the three of us, I felt bad leaving, but I really needed to get to work. So I wrote on my whiteboard, "We have to go to work. Bye." We got a hearty wave from the Londoners, and then we took off. The Londoners were left waving and writing to Richie, who was laughing in full merriment.

Later in the day, I heard from my friend in London who said there was a two-hour wait on her end, which totally blew our meeting time. Her four-year-old twins were disappointed, but forgot all about it when they got ice cream instead.

The unbridled enthusiasm for the project on the London side really made the New York side seem sad. Granted, it was 9:00 a.m. on a work day, and it's not like the Fulton Ferry Landing (the Telectroscope's location in New York) is easily accessible. But come on, man, there were three of us. From a city of nine million people, there were three of us. Oh, and a couple of workers. And one news guy who really couldn't have cared less. At one point, the Londoners got only a few of the news guy's ass. For two hours they waited just to see an arse. Poor bastards.

Still, my London-based friend and I may try again. Maybe Richie will still be there. At least he was saving me from terrible awkwardness.

A New Streak?

I attended last night's Mets game, and the difference was astounding. It wasn't just that they won; they played like they cared. Two-out rallies, solid defense, decent pitching, delicious Carvel ice cream with hot fudge served in a souvenir helmet. So although it's too early to say that the Mets are back, the Mets are back.

And because I tried to post this for Mike Piazza's retirement, and it didn't work, I offer you ladies and gay fellas this choice image. Enjoy.

Nothing Satisfies Like Jayson

I got a rare seat on the downtown number 5 train this morning and found myself in front of a homemade ad for Jayson the Massage Therapist.


I've doctored the photo only to get rid of the phone number. Other than that, it is exactly as I saw it.

But Jayson, I have some questions and comments for you:

First of all, Jayson, you need to think about your advertising strategy. Who is your target audience? Gay men? Lonely ladies? Anyone? I'm not sure who your target consumer is.

Second, you're not leaving a lot to the imagination. Sometimes, Jayson, the mind can conjure a better image than an image itself. Something to think about, Jayson.

Also, I'm surprised you have a 914 number. That's Westchester County, Jayson. I'm surprised and impressed, frankly.

Oh, Jayson... Has someone played a joke on you?

(By the way, the woman who saw me taking this photo on the subway this morning moved slowly away from me.)

My Mets Streak - R.I.P.

The Mets have lost six of seven, Willie's under fire from management, and the fans are getting restless. So I figured last night was a perfect time for me to take my winning streak back to Shea.

Alas, even my Mets mojo couldn't overcome the magnitude of their suckitude. And so my streak ends at 16 (or so) games, spanning over parts of three seasons. The Mets play with no passion, no fire, no attention-span. Jose Reyes provided all of the offense, hitting two home runs, but he balanced that with a booted ball in the first, which resulted in two unearned runs. The Marlins then earned a few more runs, and the Mets didn't seem to care enough to answer.

Prior to the game, Willie had a two-hour-plus meeting with management, presumably to discuss his future (a potentially very short future) with the team. Maybe this group of underachievers needs an ass-kicking manager. The strong, silent type doesn't seem to be inspiring them much.

I wonder if Coach Eric Taylor of the Dillon Panthers knows anything about baseball.

Mets Streak, you were an awesome force of winning energy. You will not be forgotten.

Ah, the Memories (or Something)

So it's Memorial Day, which means a day off from office jobs (but not retail jobs), some time for cleaning and shopping. And then some remember our fallen soldiers.

I like to think about war and peace, although I've never read the book version. And last week, the Economists Intelligence Unit, a name that doesn't mean anything, put out their "Global Peace Index." You might be surprised to learn that the United States doesn't rank terribly highly on the list. But at least we're ahead of Libya. Oh, wait. No, we're not.

The United States ranks in the bottom third of the 140 countries ranked. Two of the bottom five countries are Iraq and Afghanistan (which could be as warred as they are because we invaded them).

Iceland is #1 on the list of most peaceful, although the index doesn't take into consideration their utter obliteration of the whales in their waters.

What Stood Out This Week - 5/18-5/24

If the reality of a campaign won't convince a candidate to quit, will a stupid comment instead? Let's see What Stood Out This Week...

The Republican

It's time for the Veepstakes, dear B&E readers! Who will John McCain pick? Who will he McCain?

- Mike Huckabee's making a pretty open plea to join the ticket. That would throw a bone to the evangelicals.
- Charlie Crist, governor of Florida, appears near the top of any list. He's very popular in Florida, and we all know how important a role Floridians play in US elections.
- Mitt Romney, former candidate and current Mormon, had a sit-down as well. He's a pompous, rich prick with excellent hair. He'll appeal to other pompous, rich pricks with excellent hair, with crossover support from rich, pompous pricks with crappy hair.
- There are a couple of others, too, but they don't Stand Out.

The Democrats

Hillary said something about staying in the race as long as Robert F. Kennedy, who of course had to drop out of the primary campaign in 1968 because he was assassinated.

Now, I'm not the Hillaryist of Hillary supporters, but even I know that she didn't mean to imply that she should stay in because Obama might be killed. Alas, the media (and large swaths of America) love to get offended by unintentionally insensitive remarks. So now, the Obama campaign sits back and watches the fire grow out of control.

These remarks came at an inopportune time for the Clinton Campaign. Bill was floating, even campaigning, for Hillary to join Obama on the ticket as VP. Whoops.

Meanwhile, Obama's campaign has been secretly seeking VP candidates. The potential list is pretty long...

- Jim Biden and Christopher Dodd would bring some national security heft to the ticket.
- Jim Webb would bring military service and a tough attack dog attitude. He'd also bring Virginia into play.
- Bill Richardson would bring a great deal of experience and help in the southwest states (McCain country). He's really not great in a debate, if that matters.
- Kathleen Sebelius, governor of Kansas, would make for a historic ticket, but she lacks charisma, which you might remember if you watched her response to the state-of-the-union address earlier this year.

I think that's pretty much What Stood Out This Week. At least right now. Happy Memorial Day, dear B&E readers.

Maybe He'll Join the AARP

In spite of a particularly busy week, I can't let Mike Piazza's retirement from baseball go without comment.

I haven't always been a Mets fan. In fact, I became aware of baseball (and began playing) when my family lived in the Houston area, so for most of my life, I was an Astros fan. I might well be the only Mets fan who remembers 1986 with both clarity and sadness.

When I went off to college, sports were decidedly uncool, and I pursued other interests. I didn't really begin to follow baseball again until after the infamous strike of '94. In 1996, when Yankees fever was reaching its pitch in NYC, I have to admit that I got caught up in it. I was thrilled when the Yanks won the World Series.

But I'm a National League guy, so I started attending Mets games instead. In fact, when David Wells pitched his perfect game for the Yankees on my birthday in 1998, I had decided to attend the game at Shea Stadium instead. I was a bit bummed, I admit, but I had made my choice, the Mets were my team, and Mike Piazza actually joined them less than a week later.

The mid-nineties had been a rough time for the Mets, and when they signed Piazza to a giant, multi-year commitment, it was difficult to understand why Piazza would agree to lock himself in to play for such a lousy team for such a long time.

But led by Piazza, those Mets teams of the late 90s and early 00s were some of the most exciting teams I've ever followed. Other than Mike, there were no real stars. They were a ragtag bunch of solidly good players over-achieving and having a blast doing so. Todd Zeile? Rick Reed? Benny Agbayani? I mean, really, come on.

Yes, there was heartbreak, and it's a real shame that Piazza wasn't rewarded with a Mets championship ring for his efforts, but the ride was a good one.

Like so many other Mets fans, I say a fond farewell to Mike Piazza to whom I offer at least partial credit for my rediscovered love of baseball. What other player in what other market would need to answer questions from reporters to confirm that he's straight?

(And if the Blogger glitch ever gets worked out, the accompanying photo should offer enough beefcake to those B&E readers who don't much care for the baseball.)

What Stood Out This Week - 5/11-5/17

If a presidential candidate trounces her opponent and no one cares, did it really happen? Let's see What Stood Out This Week...

The Democrats

Hillary won a convincing victory in West Virg... OH, LOOKY! JOHN EDWARDS ENDORSED BARACK OBAMA!

Obama didn't even really try to compete in West Virginia, but seriously, Hillary killed him there. I'm amazed at the number of people willing to go on camera to explain that they don't like Barack Obama because "he's different," "I'd never vote for his kind," or "Hussein! HOO-SANE! I'm done with Hoo-Sane!"

Even though I find myself saying often, "Never underestimate the level of bigotry in America," I'm constantly amazed at the level of bigotry in America.

Things will be similar in Kentucky this week, I expect, and again, Obama hasn't even really bothered to campaign there, but he will probably fare better in Oregon.

So Hillary forges on, basking in her racist support, while everyone talks about how best she can exit the race without taking too big a bruising to her ego.

The Republicans

John McCain had a couple advisers resign because they've lobbied on behalf of the military junta in Myanmar/Burma. This same military junta has been hoarding all the good humanitarian aid post-cyclone and sending the rotten shit to the dying people.

Cindy McCain sold off some investments she had in the Darfur. So that's more millions she made we'll never actually hear about.

The Quitter

And as mentioned John Edwards finally offered his endorsement. I think the hope is that he can help Obama shore up the male working-class white vote that seems to prefer Hillary. I hope John spends a lot of time campaigning. That guy's a good stumper.

There's probably much more, but I'm a bit tired this morning, dear B&E readers. So that's What Stood Out This Week.

That's What We Call Full Spectrum

Ask pretty much any Scotsperson and they'll tell you that the Scots invented everything. Generally speaking, when such topics of conversation come up in my presence, I nod and agree and fall back on a completely true positive statement: Scotland is the most beautiful place I've ever been.

Yes, I do think that many superlative statements about Scotland are valid. But the Scots seem to like living in the extremes. It's the most beautiful country in the world, perhaps, and it's also the knifingest country in Europe and the drinkingest. They've got the world's preeminent theater and arts festival and bucketfuls of heroin addicts.

The Scots also offer us the best and worst in English language poetry. We'll use this simple love/luve poem by Robert Burns to demonstrate some of the best (from 1794):

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve!
And fare-thee-weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' 'twere ten thousand mile!

Burns plays with language and repetition and beauty, and one can really feel the power of his luve. Yes, it's good shit, and Robert Burns is so revered (and rightly so) he gets a national holiday.

William Topaz McGonagall--poet, tragedian, hand loom weaver--is also a product of Scotland. Widely hailed as the writer of the worst poetry in the English language, he composed his poetry "under the divine inspiration." Yes. Yes, he did. For example, from some time in the late 1800s:

'TWAS on a Monday morning, and in the year of 1884,
That a fire broke out in Bailie Bradford's store,
Which contained bales of jute and large quantities of waste,
Which the brave firemen ran to extinguish in great haste.

They left their wives that morning without any dread,
Never thinking, at the burning pile, they would be killed dead
By the falling of the rickety and insecure walls;
When I think of it, kind Christians, my heart it appals!

Because it has caused widows and their families to shed briny tears,
For there hasn't been such a destructive fire for many years;
Whereby four brave firemen have perished in the fire,
And for better fathers or husbands no family could desire.

It goes on for eighteen stanzas, dear B&E readers, but I think you get the point. If you haven't yet had your appetite for McGonagall sated, this archive is your online home.

A special thank you to Yahoo! News for bringing my attention to the Bard of Obvious Rhymes.

I Have Low Expectations

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) owns what might be the last undeveloped piece of land in Manhattan (if you consider rail track undeveloped). They recently sold it to a developer called Tishman Speyer. It was some sort of $1 billion deal. Well, Tishman Speyer backed out.

Now I'm not gonna pretend to know anything about New York City commercial real estate or the terms of the deal or who's to blame for what.

But I've been a consumer of the MTA's services for more than fifteen years now. I've marveled as they've raised fares and cut services. I've been astonished as they've cooked books and somehow gotten a free ride. I've been floored by their constant ability to redefine "incompetent management."

So no, I'm not surprised that a real estate deal involving the MTA fell apart.

But What's Really Astonishing...

John Edwards endorses Obama. A third staunchly pro-Republican seat in Congress (this one in Mississippi) turned Democrat. And Fernando Tatis hit a single in last night's Mets game.

Really? Fernando Tatis?

As Mel Allen might've said, "How about that?"

Scottish Labour Reverses, Spins, Fades

I made the mistake of reading an article about Scottish politics before having my morning coffee.

So best I can tell, as follow up to that last post about the Scotland Referendum of Independence, Scottish Labour Leader Wendy Alexander has now been shamed. There's no longer a Labour Party line on a referendum, no matter what she said about not standing in the way.

The Tories continue to mock the national Labour Party, and Gordon Brown responds the way any good American would: He proposed a new tax cut.

What Stood Out This Week - 5/4-5/10

Is it over? It's over. But is it over over? Let's see What Stood Out This Week.

The Republican

John McCain got himself in the news a little bit this week, doing more than just letting his Democratic rivals pummel each other while he masturbated from the sidelines. On "The Daily Show" McCain once again discussed Obama's endorsement by Hamas. Obama accused him of "losing his bearings" with such attacks. The McCain Campaign accused Obama of using that phrase deliberately, injecting age into the race. I'm not sure that he was, McCain Campaign, but thanks for reminding us how fucking old John McCain is.

Cindy McCain says she will never ever ever ever ever, not in a million years release her tax returns. She's like Mitt Romney rich and is very private about it. Plus it's important no one ever finds out just how much John benefited from her extreme wealth. DUDE, IT'S TOTALLY EXTREME WEALTH! WOO-HOO!

Oh, and McCain may not have voted for Bush in 2000.

The Democrats

Barack Obama trounced in North Carolina; Hillary Clinton won a squeaker in Indiana. And news broke of a $6.4 million personal loan from the Clintons to the Clinton campaign. Thus endeth Hillary's claim on momentum. And even though it clearly (finally) spoke the end of Hillary's campaign, she soldiers on, like we all knew she would.

Her latest acts of desperation include, but are not limited to, the following:

- Trying to change the official delegate count. Now when Obama reaches the threshold of 2,025 to claim the nomination, she can still say he's got another 200 to go.

- Race-baiting. She's done well among working class white folks, and she called them "hard-working people, white people." Because, you see, the black folks of the Democratic Party are lazy bums. And we over-educated white people are just a bunch of effete elitists, like Hillary. But to be fair to myself, I wasn't born with nearly the privilege that she was. Anyway, race-baiting is ugly, Hillary, and shame on you.

So the question becomes, "What's her new agenda?" Now that the math has made it impossible for Hillary (Obama has overtaken her lead in superdelegates as well), what is she running for?

A generous possibility

Hillary's very likely going to win the West Virginia and Kentucky contests coming up. It would look better for the Democratic Party if Obama lost to Hillary rather than to no one. So maybe she's staying in to make Obama look better! Hello? Anyone? No?

A few more likely possibilities

1) Hillary's campaign is massively in debt - to her personally and to others. Maybe as much as $25 million in debt. Obama could pay that shit off today if she asked. It's a tricky proposition, though. A lot of Obama supporters wouldn't like it much, especially since so much of the debt is owed to Hillary's head Dickhead Mark Penn. Still, there could be some behind the scenes maneuvering to get the debt paid off in return for a graceful exit (if that's even possible at this point).

2) Hillary's angling for a leadership position of some sort. The most obvious, of course, would be Vice President. I'd be surprised if that's what she wants, though. The Vice President has traditionally been totally isolated from the administration it serves (Gore and Cheney being recent exceptions, but exceptions nonetheless). The Nation featured an online article stating that if Hillary's VP Obama should name Chelsea official food taster. Gee, it's almost like people expect anything from the Clintons. And I'd be very surprised if Obama would want Hillary as his VP anyway. I could see that being a deal-breaker.

So if not VP what other possibilities are there? Senate Majority Leader? Supreme Court Justice (when some of those old liberals retire/die)? Secretary of State? I actually think that Hillary would be a hell of a Senate Majority Leader, and maybe Harry Reid would even take a dive on behalf of party unity.

3) She's running for 2012. Maybe her goal is to make Obama such a broken candidate that he won't win in 2008, and she'll be able to run again in 2012. I'd like to think that even the Clintons aren't this devious, but the longer this primary drags out the more sense it makes to me.

A Quitter

John Edwards voted this past week in the North Carolina primary, and wouldn't say for whom he voted. But he may have slipped up, referring to the recipient of his vote as "him." On the other hand, it could've been his Southern drawl, using the plural pronoun them to replace the singular neuter candidate and shortened to 'em. If he and Elizabeth can agree on an endorsement, they'll go public soon. I'm guessing they split their votes.

There you go: McCain focuses on Obama; Obama focuses on McCain; and Hillary continues to attack Obama.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

I'm an Adolescent

Because it's a rainy day, making it difficult to do any work, I'm going to share with you the BBC headline causing my afternoon giggle:

Great tits cope well with warming

It's about birds. Grow up, dear B&E readers.

The BBC lobs it in; feel free to hit it out of the park. As for me, I'm enjoying the wheels churning inside my head more than any of the particular comments I have on the tips of my fingers.

The Nastiest Commuters

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite.

New York City has had a bit of a bedbugs epidemic the past few years. Several people I know have had to deal with the nightmare, and I think an infestation ranks among the missus' biggest fears. They don't discriminate: housing projects, luxury hotels, working class neighborhoods, fashionable neighborhoods. They're everywhere. They're disgusting, annoying, and very difficult to get rid of.

Well, they're on the freakin' subways, too.

Don't sit on the wood benches on the subway platform, New Yorkers. At some point, they're no longer bedbugs, but... I don't know... everywherebugs.

Keeping an Eye on Scotland

The missus and I try to keep up with the goings-on in Scotland (it being the missus' home country and all). And I've attempted to explain on B&E, occasionally incorrectly, Scottish politics, which are endlessly fascinating and more than a little confusing.

We have a two-party duopoly in American politics (yes, I'm on Ralph Nader's email list, too), but in the United Kingdom they believe in a real range of political parties. To the outside observer (me), the various parties and parliaments and leaders get rather confusing. Commoners, Lords, Ladies, wigs, no wigs, earwigs... it's all a lot to take in.

And let's not even start considering the role of the Royal Family. Duke of Edinburgh? Holyrood Palace? Whaaaaa...?

I was going to link to myself for some backup information, but it's so inaccurate in so many ways, I should probably just re-summarize. At best, the following will be oversimplified. At worst, I could get some things wrong. I'm American, after all, and we like our politics black and white (or male and female).

Scottish Parliament
Scottish Parliament was created in the 1990s and has a somewhat limited scope. Scotland is after all part of a larger Britain (one might even call it a Great Britain--England, Scotland, Wales) and a United Kingdom (Scotland, England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and various smaller islands). So Scottish Parliament can make decisions about how tax revenue is spent, for example, but they can't raise or lower the taxes on their fellow citizens. Major decisions are still made in the UK Parliament in London.

Political Parties in Scotland
Labour Party - Scotland has typically been a Labour supporter. They were traditionally considered a working class party until Tony Blair and Gordon Brown (more on him in a moment) shifted "New Labour" to the right politically. Bill Clinton was the moderate Democrat president, and Blair entered office as a moderate (or relevant, depending on whom you ask) Labour prime minister. Best I can tell, the Labour Party in Britain is closest to the current Democratic Party in the U.S.

Conservative Party - The Tories are the party of Margaret Thatcher and John Major. They've hit a bit of a rough patch in recent years, in part thanks to the New Labour movement and in part due to their own failings while governing. I've never met a Brit with good feelings about Thatcher. People must've liked her at some point (she was in office for a long time), but those people must either be dead or hiding. They're now led by a cunning fellow called David Cameron. The Tories are Britain's Republican Party.

Liberal Democrats - I don't really know, but I assume that the Lib-Dems grew in power along with New Labour (although they're still definitely a smaller party). They are to the left of Labour politically, and I'm assuming that as New Labour walked away from "old" Labour policies, the Lib-Dems started gaining support. They're led by Nick Clegg, a man I know absolutely nothing about. I'd compare the Lib-Dems to the Green Party, except that there's a pretty influential Green Party in Britain too. Really, the Lib-Dems are like FDR Democrats. If the Democratic Party left had rebelled against Bill Clinton's run to the middle and formed its own party, maybe they'd be the Lib-Dems.

Scottish Nationalist Party - The SNPs refer to themselves as a "left-leaning nationalist party advocating secession from the United Kingdom." The SNPs were founded in the 1930s by a group of nationalists, obviously, that included the missus' grandfather. Today they're led by a bloke called Alex Salmond, which is like the fish but with a "d" on the end. We have no comparable party in the U.S. Maybe if New England Democrats wanted to declare independence from the rest of the country, they'd be like the SNPs. Actually, I could get behind a party like that.

The Greens and the Socialists usually have a tiny voice/representation in government as well.

Quick aside: I love that the names of the political parties in the U.K. actually give you a good idea of what they represent/where they stand on various issues.

Last year's Scottish elections
Historically, Scotland has been very pro-Labour. Tony Blair screwed that up. Even now that Gordon Brown (a Scot) is Prime Minister, many Scots have turned their backs on Labour. The Tories don't typically fare very well in Scottish elections. In fact, the Lib-Dems have usually done better. And the SNPs have always had their supporters, but until recently, they were mostly considered a one-issue party: independence.

But Alex Salmond and the SNPs were vocally against the Iraq War before it began (the loudest voice of dissent in Scotland), and because they've been proven right, they've also gotten themselves some legitimacy.

So during last year's Scottish Parliament elections, they pulled a lot of support away from Labour and eked out a win to be the ruling party. Alex Salmond, then, is first minister of Scotland.

The SNPs don't have a majority. It's difficult for a single party to hold a majority thanks to the many parties. So the ruling party forms coalitions with parties that share their interests. In this case, the SNPs reached out to the Lib-Dems, but the Scottish Lib-Dem leader wouldn't agree to an official coalition unless the referendum for independence was off the table. They're the SNPs. They want independence. So the SNP's rule as a minority.

Based on reports from the missus' father (who very often gets things wrong) and others (including newspapers), it seems that Salmond and the SNPs are doing a good job in this role. Salmond made one misstep in his attempt to partner with Donald Trump to build a giant-ass golf course, but a couple shepherds kept that nonsense from happening. Mostly, Salmond and the SNPs are just hunkering down and doing the work of the Scottish people, proving that they're about more than just independence.

The Referendum for Independence
Salmond has been saying that once they get a couple years of ruling under their belts, the SNPs are going to bring this referendum for independence to the people for a vote. It's not clear at the moment whether the Scottish people would vote independence or not. It definitely seems to be gaining support, but there are a lot of Scots who are Unionists (support a United Kingdom). It has seemed that 2010 was a target year for the referendum.

Naturally, most of the other parties are against independence and against putting forward a referendum. No party is more vocal about this than the Labour Party. Gordon Brown's a Unionist and head of the Labour Party, and he's said in no uncertain terms that he would never support a referendum. And this was Labour's official party line.

Enter Wendy Alexander, Labour's Scottish leader. In an attempt to call Salmond's bluff, she said, "Bring it on" to the referendum, and no time like the present. But you see, Salmond's not bluffing. He heads the Scottish Nationalist Party. Salmond is thrilled that suddenly he's got Labour's support for a referendum, even if the timing isn't quite right.

And wackiness ensues...

Tory leader David Cameron is now accusing Brown of losing control of his own party. Wendy Alexander is saying that a) the referendum won't pass now and b) she's got the support of Gordon Brown for this stunt, even while Gordon Brown tries to stay the fuck out of it. Meanwhile, Salmond's inviting Scottish Labour to join him for a lively eightsome reel, possibly to distract everyone from realizing that he really would like to hold off on the referendum for a couple years.

But how crazy would it be if Scottish Gordon Brown's legacy as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was un-uniting the Kingdom and losing his native Scotland to independence? Would either the English or the Scottish let him live amongst them?

There's much more to this all, of course, and the Guardian and the Scotsman both have summaries that are a little hard to understand when I'm still getting my head around the delegate system of electing a presidential nominee within the Democratic Party of the United States of America.

You Don't Call, You Don't Write

An Antarctica seal was caught on film attempting to copulate with a king penguin.

"Oh, baby, you know just what papa likes... I'm tired..."

Scientists witnessing the event hypothesize that a) the seal was an inexperienced adolescent male who didn't really know what he was doing; b) it was a playful act that turned unexpectedly amorous; or c) it was a predatory act that turned unexpectedly amorous. Seals are apparently known to hunt the penguins.

Whatever the seal's intent, the BBC writes this gem:

After 45 minutes the seal... swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report.

Well, that seal certainly behaves like an adolescent male.

The BBC also reports that the penguin was not harmed physically. There's a surprising lack of mention at the emotional fallout.

What Stood Out This Week - 4/27-5/3

If I didn't know better, I'd say Jeremiah Wright is running for president. Let's see What Stood Out This Week.

Republican

John McCain continues to sport a giant erection, thanks to Democratic Party in-fighting.

Democrats

Barack Obama defeated Hillary Clinton in today's Guam caucus by seven votes. Out of more than 4,500. Seven votes. Several dozen people who couldn't be bothered to vote today are kicking themselves. Imagine a voting process in which your vote really does count. That's just crazy. They split the delegates down the middle.

Big votes again on Tuesday in North Carolina and Indiana. Both should be close, and both will inevitably somehow encourage Hillary to stay in the race.

At this point, I defer to Dana, who's written two fine posts over at a blog you should check out in general, Art On My Mind. The first, earlier post, implores Hillary to stop treating us all like idiots in blistering terms I so admire. The second explains why we shouldn't despair too much about Obama's current position of threatened front-runner.

What else Stood Out This Week? Honestly, all I seem to hear about is Reverend Jeremiah Wright. I've seen and heard the clips, like everyone, and I don't get the hubbub. At worst it's mediocre comedy shtick (funnier than Dane Cook, though!): "White people clap like this, but black people clap like this!" And cue laugh track.

People feigning offense (most of the so-called "offended") should be called out on their bullshit. Those few people who are genuinely offended by Wright's routines and not just posturing should meditate, breathe, chew on some Quaaludes... Anything that'll help them fucking relax. Getting upset about this is a total waste of high blood pressure.

Look, white people who clap on one and three should be mocked. So get over your bad selves.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

Lesbians Hate Lesbians

As most lesbians and Lesbians know, the poet Sappho lived on the isle of Lesbos and wrote beautifully celebrating the love between women. Women who love women embraced lesbian as their label, and now the Lesbians are fed up.

A Lesbian law suit against a Greek lesbian organization demands that the lesbians remove lesbian from their name. Dimitris Lambrou is one particularly angry Lesbian:

Lambrou said the word lesbian has only been linked with gay women in the past few decades. "But we have been Lesbians for thousands of years," said Lambrou, who publishes a small magazine on ancient Greek religion and technology that frequently criticizes the Christian Church.

He is also quoted as saying, "My sister can't say she's a Lesbian." Well, now, Lesbian Lambrou, there's no reason she can't call herself a Lesbian. There's a very clear distinction between Lesbians and lesbians. After all, one is capitalized.

Spread the love, Lesbians. What is the world coming to when Lesbians hate lesbians? After all, lesbians have a difficult enough time of things without hatred from Lesbians.