What Stood Out This Week - End of Year Scotland Edition

I gotta tell ya, dear B&E readers, it's a breath of fresh air here in Scotland: literally fresh air in the Highlands and, of course, breathing free of our political discourse in the U.S. I have little sense of what's going on in our all-important primaries, and there's only four days before voting begins in Iowa. I haven't been this relaxed in months.

So What's Stood Out while in the Land of the Scot?

First of all I should mention that the missus comes from a long line of Scottish nationalists. Indeed, her grandfather was a founding member of the Scottish Nationalist Party (which I know I've mentioned before). Scottish nationalists tend to dislike the English on principle, even though well-educated Scottish nationalists tend to get good English educations. To my surprise, this dislike for the English doesn't necessarily translate to Americans. Or maybe they're just being polite because I was right there in the room. (And in fact one Scottish Lord in a kilt--a story for another time, perhaps--expressed his distaste for America even before I had a chance to introduce myself: "Hi, I'm American.")

Although the Scots I've been hobnobbing with have been mostly family, I was quite pleased to learn that they don't blame America and Americans for the world's problems. There's a clear separation in their minds between the Bush administration and America (and Tony Blair holds a special place of disgust in their hearts). Even a fifteen-year-old expressed her love for America, quite vociferously. And when I sang The Star-Spangled Banner at a party (again, a story for another time, perhaps), everyone stood (even the man in the room with multiple sclerosis), hummed along, and placed hands over their hearts while I belted out a particularly loud and obnoxious (read: American) version of the tune.

As for their opinions of the upcoming election, well, mostly they asked us what we thought. The missus' father has decided he likes Mike Huckabee, although I'm sure that if I asked him if he knew anything other than that the Huckster is an anti-abortion Baptist minister, he probably wouldn't have much of an answer. But let's face it: neither would most Americans. The fifteen-year-old mentioned previously offered her vociferous support of Barack Obama. Most of what she did or said, she did or said so vociferously.

The missus and I still don't have a good answer for the voting question. I think this is the first time I've been undecided this late in the game. But really, officially the game hasn't even started yet.

And that's What Stood Out. From Scotland.

Happy New Year, dear B&E readers. That's Hogmanay over here.

This is Scotland Calling

It's that time of year again, dear B&E readers, when instead of having no excuse for not writing, I have a perfectly good one. I'm heading out of town for a few days, and I don't expect there to be much happening here at B&E.

But hey, maybe one of my resolutions for 2008 will be posting more often than twice (and sometimes thrice) weekly. That'd be a worthy resolution. We'll see if I bother to resolve, and if I do bother, whether or not it sticks.

Whatever you celebrate, I hope you celebrate well. Git stuff't wi' ye Rabbie Burns kilt-wearin' selves on a plate o'haggis. And while that doesn't actually mean anything, it sure sounds Scottish to me.

New Jersey is Awesome

The missus will occasionally make the above declaration when she seeks a chuckle from her audience. And rightly so, because New Jersey is a comedy location. If a character in a movie comes from New Jersey, expect him or her to be a comedic buffoon. If a punch line is "New Jersey," it's much more likely to get a laugh than, say, Connecticut. There's nothing funny about Connecticut.

Yes, it's fair to say that we New Yorkers tend to look down our noses at the Garden State (that's New Jersey, for those who haven't seen the Zach Braff movie). Even The New Yorker (that's the magazine) once featured a cartoon that included a caption that was something along the lines of, "It was disappointing to learn that the light at the end of the tunnel was New Jersey."

And yet New Jersey provides much of New York City's power from over the Hudson River. So we're picking on the people that give us light. Yeah, we're real bastards here in New York.

Anyway, I thought it high time that I give a special shout out to New Jersey. Today, upon Governor Corzine's signature, New Jersey repealed the death penalty, the first state to do so since 1976, when the Supreme Court botched their decision allowing the states to start killing people again.

Way to go, New Jersey. Civil unions, and now abolition of the death penalty: Yes, I think it's fair to say that you truly are awesome.

No irony.

What Stood Out This Week - 12/9-12/15

Just a few weeks before Iowans start caucusing. I had another particularly busy week at the job and therefore didn't do much consuming of political news. So let's see What Stood Out This Week...

I've got impressions of Obama tied with Hillary in various polls in early key states. Mr. Hillary Clinton even made a speech to lower expectations in Iowa, a marked change in attitude from the Inevitability Candidacy Hillary's been running to this point.

There was also some hubbub in New Hampshire with Hillary's campaign manager there telling people to be wary of Obama's former drug use (something he discussed openly in an early biography). Obama called it a desperate move for a desperate campaign, and Hillary immediately asked for the campaign manager's resignation and stepped carefully and far, far away from the statement.

Meanwhile, in Iowa, apparently it would be foolish to rule out Johnny Edwards. He has, after all, caucused before, and organization-wise he's better prepared than the other campaigns.

The AP did a getting-to-know-the-softer-sides of the candidates survey, which they seem to be releasing in short articles one personal question at a time. There was one about nicknames last week. Because I'm a big fan of coffee, this week I took interest in one about how the various candidates take theirs. Naturally, all that Stood Out from the coffee survey was that Mitt doesn't drink it (Mormons aren't allowed caffeine), and Obama takes his black. Coincidence, irony, or appropriate? You decide!

Another article featured answers to "What's your most prized possession?" I remember exactly one answer. Of all the candidates that responded to the survey, Fred Thompson took it the least seriously. For a question about nicknames, for example, he answered, "Mr. President." For most prized possession he answered, and I shit you not, "My trophy wife."

Huckabee and Romney seem to be going toe-to-toe on religious issues. An article in the Times has Huckabee wondering aloud about Mormonism: "Don't they believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?" Romney's going on and on about how attacking religious beliefs crosses lines.

In the meantime, Huckabee has a new campaign manager who's declaring the Huckster to be "the Republican Obama." I'm not sure what that means. But Huckabee is certainly gaining in popularity. I'd dismiss him as nuts, except that this is a country that elected Bush (number two) twice.

And That's What Stood Out This Week in my pre-coffee, Sunday morning mind.

Dickhead(s) of the Week - Sportswriters

Don't know if you heard, but there was a small news item this week about steroids in baseball. If you blinked you may have missed it.

Right.

So baseball is full of cheaters, including one of the greatest of all time, Roger Clemens. Who the hell is surprised? I say it a lot, and I've written it a lot: ballplayers are assholes.

The Mitchell Report was careful to state that the performance enhancing drug issue was a "collective failure":

Everybody in baseball — commissioners, club officials, the players’ association, players — shares responsibility.

I know that technically owners fall into the category of "club officials," but as the people who benefited most from the home run derby years of Major League Baseball, I would've liked to see them get a special call-out.

And as usual, brilliant sportswriter David Zirin has addressed the free pass given to the owners with more knowledge and eloquence than I can provide with my complete lack of journalistic experience and time for investigating. I implore you, as usual, to read his fine work.

David touches on the topic I'm really gearing up to here: the media's role, and more specifically, sportswriters. Seriously, what a bunch of Dickheads (not you, of course, David Zirin).

I caught wind of this self-righteous piece of shit article yesterday, in which US sportswriters express their dismay at the widespread use of performance enhancers and the baseball player "freak show."

Fuck you, Dickheads. Are you not journalists? Who better to discover and expose a widespread problem in baseball than the people trained in investigation that have access to dugouts and clubhouses? Why didn't you ask why ballplayers were suddenly looking larger? Why didn't you find out why so many men went up four hat sizes? Where did those thirty-six-inch biceps come from? It's your job to find shit out and report on it. Where have you been?

Seriously, any Dickhead reporter full of self-righteous indignation, dismay, or shock should be fired for incompetence.

Nice Goin', Genius

President George W. Bush hates children.

Our Man-In-Charge vetoed a health care bill that would cover about four million more poor Americans, mostly children. The empathy and loving kindness exuding from our executive branch is truly astounding. I live about four hours from D.C. and I can feel the love from here.

In the article linked above, a one-sentence paragraph is more telling than perhaps the Associated Press intended:

Bush vetoed the bill in private.

You see, Dubya's afraid that this exceptionally popular and successful (on its small scale) program takes us down a path toward un-privatized health care. So of course he had to veto the bill in private. To do so publicly would go against everything this great country stands for.

Jiminy Christmas.

What Stood Out This Week - 12/2-12/8

Other than the candidate match game (see post below) I didn't pay much attention to politics over the past few days. So let's see What Stood Out This Week...

At some point I read a little something about the celebrity endorsement. Barbra hasn't seemed to help Hillary that much. But Oprah has given Barack a little boost. Apparently, though, Barbra and Oprah can't hold a candle to Walker, Texas Ranger (aka Chuck Norris) whose endorsement of Mike Huckabee caused a popularity explosion. Man, that 70-year-old can really kick ass.

And indeed, there's a lot of media coverage about Mike. Most of the stories that Stood Out involve Mike: He's second in national polls, he's first by a wide margin in Iowa, he's struggling with the increased scrutiny on his record that comes with being a top-tier candidate, he refuses to speak about theology publicly, he freed a serial rapist while governor of Arkansas, and once advocated for quarantining AIDS patients.

It's hard to know if these stories are making it out there nationally, but the NY tabloids continue to hit this thing about the city paying for Rudy Giuliani's trips to bang his then-girlfriend/now-wife out in the Hamptons.

Mitt Romney gave his speech about his faith (Mormonism), which his consultants advised against. Absolutely nothing about it stands out to me. But then he wasn't trying to win me over, was he?

The democrats mostly stayed off my radar this week. Well done, boys and girl.

And that's What Stood Out This Week.

Candidate Match Game

The best paper in the world, USA Today, features an online candidate match game that I found to be both deeply flawed and quite entertaining.

I'm sure you'll all be surprised to learn that, after playing with the sliding scales, my list looks a little something like this:

1) Dennis Kucinich - As I expected, he totally ran away with it. Politically, I align most closely with a non-cheese-eating, UFO-viewing, elf-looking dude with the really hot wife.

2) Mike Gravel - He was a distant second. If you consider all the other candidates tied for first, he would be a distant second in general.

3) Barack Obama/John Edwards/Bill Richardson - My third place depends on the slides and which issues I'm feeling most strongly about in the moment. Without sliding, it's Bill.

If you don't care that people know where you stand on the political spectrum, feel free to share your results in the comments section of this posting. And remember, dear B&E readers, primaries offer you the one opportunity to vote for the candidate you align with most closely. Assuming they're still on the ballots by the time you vote.

The Little Hedgehog Got Hurt

Aw, the widdy piddy baby hedgehog got himself widdle boo boo. Aawwww, two widdle boo boos.

Yeah, so it turns out this baby hedgehog is sick because of warm weather. All these abandoned baby hedgehogs can't freakin' hibernate because the fall has been too mild in the UK.

So they're all tired and they're falling out of trees or holes or hedges or wherever the hell hedgehogs fall out of, and...


AWWWWWW... Wooky the biddy hedgy-hedgy wit da witty cast as he wimps awound da woom.

Seriously, the whole thing is totally fucked up, and the lawyer who sent me this should totally be ashamed of herself.

But hey, if you want to read more you can check this out. I should warn you that I've already posted the cute pictures, though.

What Stood Out This Week - 11/25-12/1

Oh, it was a busy one, and one during which I almost didn't wait until it was time to tell you What Stood Out This Week.

Let's start with the Democrats, shall we?

Early in the week, I caught wind of a poll that stuck with me. In head-to-head match-ups, Hillary loses against the top five Republican candidates. Obama and Edwards defeat them.

I relay this tidbit because it Stood Out This Week, and also because I'm a fan of primaries. I feel it's the one opportunity during the election cycle we voters have to support the candidate we are truly most aligned with. We don't have to compromise during the primary. In recent elections, Democratic primaries have been won because candidates attempt to convince the electorate that they have the best chance of winning against the Republican. For reasons that escape me, this has meant Al Gore (remember that this was the pre-Inconvenient Truth Al Gore, the one that was sort of a Robo-Gore) and John Kerry, two of the least inspired candidates in the world. They were the safe choices. And somehow they convinced voters that they could win.

Fuck that, voters. Vote for whom you like for real in the primary, and let's see who that is. If Hillary truly inspires you, vote for her. But if you support the front-runner just because you think she's the best chance we've got, be aware that history has proven that the "best chances we've got" fucking lose.

In other news, Barbra Streisand endorsed Hillary Clinton, and Oprah Winfrey endorsed Barack Obama. A powerful and egomaniacally narcissistic woman needs to endorse John Edwards and stat! I'm talking to you Martha Stewart! Or Rosie O'Donnell! Hell, man, even Tyra Banks might do the trick! She is, after all, "fierce" and equally annoying.

Yesterday, some dude held a few people hostage in one of Hillary's campaign offices in New Hampshire. He was arrested, but I've got no sense about what he wanted or what he was really up to.

And at some point, John Edwards gave a pretty inspired speech in front of the Democratic National Committee. If only Tyra was there to back him up.

OK, now the Republicans... Man, what a bunch of bitches. They had themselves a nasty debate that really showed just how assholic Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani are. If you happened upon a clip of their little spat over immigration, the rage seething beneath their teeth-clenched grins was palpable. "Your city was a haven for illegal immigrants!" "Your mansion was a haven for illegal immigrants!" "I hate you." "I hate you more." "You're a dick." "That's really insensitive because you KNOW I had prostate cancer."

And speaking of immigration and hatred, remember when Tom Tancredo was the crazy one on this issue? For a while I was convinced he thought that the New Mexicans were about to invade his home state of Colorado. But now it's like some kind of contest to see who can hate the immigrants the most. I'm waiting for the day that someone calls this what it is -- racism -- but since most Democrats don't have any balls worth speaking of, I don't see this happening anytime soon.

Oh, and man, I almost forgot, Rudy Giuliani apparently used city funds to go bang his then-girlfriend Judith Nathan. Yo, bitch. Those were my tax dollars. Still, that shit can't possibly fly with the Republican base, can it? Pat Robertson? Anything you want to say about your endorsement?

It was a busy time for What Stood Out This Week, dear B&E readers. We are just about four weeks from the first primary votes being cast.

Vote for whom you like, dear friends. Vote for whom you like.