Maybe the Scots Know Better Than Trump

I'd like to give a special shout out to the missus' home country (that would be Scotland, in case you're not aware), which rejected a $2.1 billion golf resort development proposed by Donald Trump, a man famous for his exquisite taste. So his proposed golf resort was sure to be subtle, with little or no effect on the natural beauty of Scotland, pictured here for your reference.

During the whole ordeal there was one holdout who refused to sell 55 acres to The Donald. Upon the failure of the golf resort scheme, the fella, Michael Forbes, gave this tasty tidbit (as quoted in The Telegraph):

Hopefully, Trump has now got the message that we're not a bunch of cabbages up here. We've managed fine without him up to now and we'll get on just as well without him.

Those of us in New York are unable to say the same thing. We are, in fact, cabbages.

Yes, I Love the Off-Season, Too

Hello, baseball fans!

The sports pages haven't stopped talking about baseball, but I have. Until now!

At some point in the next month, it appears we're going to get ourselves some official names of Known Banned Substance Users, or KnaBSUs, as I like to call them. Many of these KnaBSUs are current players. So that's always a good time. Which of your favorite mediocre players were/are KnaBSUs?

But once again, I feel the need to point you all in the direction of another fine Nation article, this one by the ever-faithful David Zirin. The Department of Justice has spent a fortune working up to an indictment of Barry Bonds, everyone's favorite ballplayer. And yet, as David so pointedly writes...

In the case of Baseball Fans vs. the Anabolic Era, everyone is guilty: not just players but all who were part of the assembly line that put the drugs in their veins. That means coaches, managers, trainers, the compliant media, and even the owners. It also means that a certain former Texas Rangers baseball executive now in the White House who did nothing while his players like José Canseco passed around the juice would get asked questions under the hot lights.

Oh, David, your voice rings out as beautifully as Naomi Klein's.

I haven't made much noise about my man-crush on Russ "Oh, So" Feingold in the past year or so. The heart is a fickle little muscle, dear B&E readers. (For those of you who'd like to revisit my days of loving sweet Russell, browse the entries in the spring of 2006. There are simply too many potential links.)

But if David Zirin keeps up such fine work (for fun about Imus, read the little ditty that turned up in the LA Times), I might find myself with a man-crush to replace Russell "Thou Art So Mighty" Feingold.

Hey, you non-baseball fans, even though this posting has little to do with baseball, I'm going to throw you two bones. The first of course is Russ "Damn, You" Feingold:


The second, as you may have predicted, is progressive sportswriter, David Zirin, whose name is a lot harder to make nicknames out of. David "Beer 'n" Zirin?


Do these fellas do it for you? If they don't there's something seriously wrong with you.

What Stood Out This Week - 11/18-11/24

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards all sent me Happy Thanksgiving email messages, which was very thoughtful of them. I can't say that I read the messages in their entireties, but I'm guessing that they're thankful for my support. So What Stood Out This Week was the candidates' presumptuousness.

By the way, Mike Huckabee is just a few percentage points behind Mitt Romney in Iowa. Iowa's caucuses are in about five weeks. Huckabee is a kind, amiable evangelical, and it turns out that the evangelicals rather like that quality. Now if the Christian Right would just get in line with the Economic Right, they might actually have a nominee. Mitt? Rudy? Fred? Actually, they might still not have a proper front runner.

All the Democrats are in Iowa as well. To hear the New York Times tell it, both parties' candidates are all just eating their way into voters' hearts. It's downright rude to turn down food. And we all remember what happened when the kinder, gentler George Bush announced that he hated broccoli. If you don't remember, the broccoli lobby got upset and said the president was encouraging bad eating habits in our kids, i.e. George Bush hates kids.

And seriously, that's about all I got. I was too busy eating a fine Thanksgiving meal to pay attention to politics. And everyone's in Iowa. I'm not.

That's What Stood Out This Week.

Look, We Need Our Drugs.

In New York City you're never more than a couple of blocks from a Duane Reade, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Eckerd, CVS, or one of the hundreds (used to be thousands) of locally-owned pharmacies. I guess when you build a city in which everyone lives on top of each other, you get a lot of teethbrushers-per-block. And a lot of chlamydia.

My neighborhood in sunny Sunnyside, Queens has a downright obscene number of drug stores. A new CVS has opened to put two local pharmacies down the block out of business. I like the support the local guy, but to be honest, these pharmacies sort of suck. One is filthy with a rude staff, and one seems to solely carry lottery tickets.

Still, a former Sunnysider brought this Daily News article to my attention. A Rite Aid has opened up directly next door to a Rite Aid on Greenpoint Avenue. No, it's not a continuation of a Rite Aid that outgrew itself. It's a second, complete Rite Aid. Thankfully, there's a third Rite Aid three blocks away.

The newer Rite Aid on the corner was once an Eckerd, which Rite Aid just gobbled up, perhaps to celebrate Thanksgiving, and a spokesperson for Rite Aid said that they performed its "market research," and the Rite-Aid-next-door-to-a-Rite-Aid model "makes sense" for our neighborhood.

The Daily News closes its article with this gem:

John Vogt, president of the Sunnyside Chamber of Commerce, wants to help make Sunnyside a destination for tourists by bringing in retail stores like the Gap as well as eateries to help promote the neighborhood.

"You can never have enough restaurants. We need more boutiques in the area or more bookstores," said Vogt.

Eateries, boutiques, and bookstores sound alright. But the Gap? The Gap will make Sunnyside a destination for tourists? Maybe a Gap would keep Sunnyside shoppers from going to the mall in Elmhurst, but a destination for tourists?

"Hey, honey, let's to go to Paris! They've just opened a Gap!"

I Have a Crush on Naomi Klein

The missus and I occasionally play that game, "If you weren't married to me, who would you like to marry?" For the missus, it's been Ciaran Hines and Matthew MacFadyen and other British fads of the day. Right now, though, it's James McAvoy.

You see, he's Scottish and handsome and has been in a Jane Austen-related film. Plus he's about to be in the film adaptation of Atonement, which is just about the finest novel around. If one believes buzz, then the film should be quite a good one. And I'm sure that James' performance will be solid and attractive. Yes, he's a fine choice for the missus.

For my money (not that I'd ever pay for it!) if I weren't married to the missus, I'd go with Naomi Klein.

Naomi is smart and writes one hell of a Nation column. And look at that smile! You can get high from that charisma!

I don't know much about economics, but I've had a hunch that this free-market, Milton Friedman, globalized approach to the world's monetary system is immoral. If I were trapped in a room with a free-marketeer/economic rapist, he or she would almost certainly argue me down to a little nub. Because I don't know shit.

Fortunately, for me, I have Naomi Klein to explain the logic behind my uninformed hunches and offer a promising alternative to globalization, currently taking place in South America.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's government subsidies feature prominently in Naomi's piece, and I offer this gem for your enjoyment:

Chávez's many critics have derided these initiatives as handouts and unfair subsidies, of course. Yet in an era when Halliburton treats the US government as its personal ATM for six years, withdraws upward of $20 billion in Iraq contracts alone, refuses to hire local workers either on the Gulf Coast or in Iraq, then expresses its gratitude to US taxpayers by moving its corporate headquarters to Dubai (with all the attendant tax and legal benefits), Chávez's direct subsidies to regular people look significantly less radical.

Oh, Naomi, you know just what to say...

The thing that I like about Naomi Klein as my answer is that it demonstrates a certain depth to my crushes. James McAvoy could be an idiot. Maybe he's not, but who the hell knows? The missus' crush on James is based on looks and maybe a little talent. My crush is based on intellectual fervor and flawless politics and a hell of a smile.

I mean sure, I could choose Salma Hayek or Keeley Hawes, but then I couldn't also be smug in my answer. And I do love feeling superior.

More than that, though, I do love the missus.

NYC: The Clunkiest City on Earth

New York City has a new logo. It was first seen around town on our yellow cabs. When I first noticed it, I was like, "That sorta blows. Looks like the Taxi & Limousine Commission really screwed the pooch on that one."

It now appears, however, that the NYC portion of the taxi logo is becoming a standard for city agencies. So I did a little poking around online to see what I could discover about this disastrous city branding decision. There's this little ditty from the New York Times about its use on the taxis. In the article, the writer (presumably a real reporter and not a reporter on reporting they way that I am) says that the new NYC logo was designed by Wolff Olins.

Wolff is one of those designers/design companies whose work you're probably aware of even if you don't know anything about design, branding, logo development, etc. Remember the (RED) campaign from the Gap last Christmas? That was Wolff. Pretty effective stuff from a marketing perspective.

Unfortunately, the NYC logo is much more akin to Wolff's London 2012 Olympics logo, which has received nothing but the poorest possible reviews since it was introduced to the public. And rightly so. What a nightmare.

Maybe Wolff Olin is a genius. He probably is. Who the hell knows?

New York City is big, yes. But it is also sleek, classy, classic, and refined. And this new NYC logo is none of those things. If one assumes (as I certainly do) that New York City is one of the centers of great design in this place we call planet earth, I tend to think that someone else in town probably could've done a better job.

Wolff Olins has agencies in both New York and London. Maybe he's too close to his subjects in those cities.

What Stood Out This Week - 11/11-11/17

I paid less attention to the madness of the presidential primaries this week. Is it possible I'm getting bored? So here are the few things that Stood Out:

There was another Democratic candidate debate. Rumor has it Hillary Clinton did well and Barack Obama did not. John Edwards was there, but if you follow the news media at all, it would appear as if no one else was.

Hillary apparently accused both Barack and John of attacking her "right out of the Republican playbook." In the coverage of the debate I've seen and read, this was apparently a strong moment for Hillary. I find this retort to be annoying and empty of substance. John pondered aloud that nothing Hillary's ever done has indicated any interest in changing Washington. Seems pretty fucking true to me, and yet even given an enormous opening, she still hasn't indicated any interest in changing Washington. It's all a "vast right-wing conspiracy" of anti-Hillariness. Well, I'm not part of the right-wing lady, and I can't stand you. Shame on you for simultaneously avoiding offering a real response and comparing one of the more liberal candidates on stage to Republicans.

Ron Paul is still a legitimate Republican candidate because he's the one guy who seems to have figured out the power of the internets for fundraising. If his financials ever drop again, I predict he'll go back to being that kook no one's thinking about.

John McCain has made a surge of late. I'm not sure why I should care.

"Poll" calls were made in New Hampshire and Iowa with a distinct anti-Mormon, anti-Mitt Romney stance, while also praising John McCain's record as a war hero. McCain immediately called for an investigation into the calls, stating in no uncertain terms that his campaign had nothing to do with them. Conspiracy theories are starting to gather steam that (get this) Romney is behind the calls. If he's the victim, you see, he can accuse his rivals of dirty tactics to assassinate his character. Man, if there's any weight to these theories, I look forward to watching the fallout.

And that's What Stood Out This Week in my little brain. That seems like quite a lot considering I wasn't really paying attention.

It's Sort of Like "The Daily Show" on Strike

Oh, it is "The Daily Show" on strike.

A couple of days ago, the striking "Daily Show" writers posted a little YouTube goodness that is both entertaining and informative. [Because I first saw it while perusing The HuffingtonPost, I'll link you to their story on the matter.]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: GO WRITERS!

What Stood Out This Week - 11/4-11/10

I feel as if I was in a bit of a work fog, so we'll see what memories of primary activity come back to me. Here's What Stood Out This Week:

Republican (and feisty libertarian) Ron Paul broke the single-day primary fundraising record (out-raising Mitt, who donated shitloads to his own campaign) on remember-remember-the-fifth-of-November, in an internet nod to Guy Fawkes, who tried to blow up Parliament. Suddenly, the only anti-war Republican has legitimacy as a candidate. Paul's response (in paraphrase): "It's too bad it took money to give my candidacy legitimacy, rather than my ideas." Word to your mother, Ron Paul. But it's also too bad that when you take a close look at where you stand on all the issues, you give the distinct impression of being slightly insane.

Pat Robertson endorsed Rudolph Giuliani. Please, America: Recognize the obvious. This clearly confirms Rudy's pandering assholery.

Polls: I remember seeing a couple of polls on various media outlets. It seems that polls are featuring head-to-head theoretical presidential contests of Hillary vs. Rudy. The people haven't voted yet, media. We're still in the primary. Please give us a sense of candidates' ideas, rather than jumping to conclusions.

Vegan candidate Dennis Kucinich managed to sneak an "Impeach Cheney" bill onto the floor of the House. Most Democrats tried to bury it. Many Republicans actually wanted to bring it to the floor to force a vote because they think Democrats have everything to lose on such a bill. The Vegan's bill now sits in the Judiciary Committee while they try to figure out what to do. Seems like a no-brainer if you're not a complete coward: Vote to impeach Dick Cheney before he leads us into war against Iran. Well, done, Vegan Kucinich.

And that's What Stood Out This Week, B&E readers.

Stupidy Stupid Stupidhead Stupidcock

Today Michael Eisner demonstrated his completely--completely--unbiased point-of-view on the Writer's Guild strike:

This is a stupid strike. It's a waste of their time. [The studios] have nothing to give. They don't know what to give.

Well, look here Stupid Stupidhead. I think the writers want to get paid when their material appears online or on other electronic media. You can't pretend not to make money from those television episodes that appear on your websites.

I know you must be amazed, Mr. Stupid Eisnerhead, but writers want to get paid for their work.

The studios have money to give. They know to give money. Who's stupid?

Striking Writers

As some of you may have heard (or will notice during your Daily Show reruns this evening), members of the Writer's Guild went on strike today. I'm a writer (although I'm not a member of the Writer's Guild), and I'm staunchly pro-union. So yes, I support the striking writers wholeheartedly. Go get what you deserve, writers.

By the way, this is the first in a series of Hollywood-related contract endings, so the negotiations with the Writer's Guild will largely determine how things turn out with, for example, the Screen Actor's Guild as well.

This is appropriate. You see, first the writers create the story. Then everyone else interprets it.

GO, WRITERS!

What Stood Out This Week - 10/28-11/3

Oh, Primary Season, why dost thou leave me so uninspired?

I've decided that, until voting time, I'm going to sit down on Saturday mornings and top-line the election-related events that stand out from the previous week. Because I'm on many, many email lists for various political action committees, candidates, and issue-based organizations, and because I'm a fairly voracious consumer of (online) newspapers, journals, and a handful of news blogs, I should be exposed to the big stuff.

On the other hand, I'm so inundated with useless information and various spin operations that sifting through to the meaty stuff can certainly be a challenge. So when I sit down on Saturday with my first cup of coffee of the day, I will only report what I remember. No research.

Here's what I remember from the plethora of information that hit me full in the face between 10/28 and 11/3:

John Edwards is calling the corporatization of our government the "moral test of our generation." He's right. But do enough people care enough that it can move him up in the polls?

Chris Dodd (of all people) finally made it onto my radar. He has apparently made his campaign issue "the constitution." He seems to understand that he won't win anything, but he wants to make sure that anyone who will listen to the poor bastard will know that warrantless wiretapping and the plethora of constitution-shredding activities of the Bush administration are illegal and impeachable.

The Nation is on a real Bill Richardson kick of late. Because I'm overloaded with candidate information and therefore can't retain anything, I can't remember why they're so keen on him this week. They already like him for his all-and-I-mean-all-troops-out-of-Iraq stance. But this week had something to do with him being the only candidate to get involved in some ultra-wonky foreign policy conversation that demonstrated his seriousness as a candidate.

Hillary Clinton wasn't straight in some of her answers at the debate, and Barack Obama's going to make sure we know it.

Dennis Kucinich has the hottest wife of any of the presidential candidates, including Man of the Trophy Wife Fred Thompson. For proof, go watch The Daily Show's feature, "Is America Ready for a FLILF?"

And that's what's in my head, B&E readers!

B&E 2007 Baseball Summary

Yes, it was a full season of baseball, and now it's over and the Red Sox won the World Series and I've already bored myself. What else happened in Major League Baseball's 2007 Season?

Barry Bonds
Yes, that's right: Barry Bonds broke the... Ooh! Looky! Steroids!

Colorado Rockies
The Rockies have been one of my favorite baseball subjects over the past couple years (second to the Mets, of course) because they're on a mission from God. Well, they toned down the God-talk a bit this year, using coded language instead, and ended the season on a tear. Prior to the World Series, they won 21 of 22 games. Yes, Jesus, that's pretty good. So what happened in the Fall Classic? Not sure. Perhaps God mistook the World Series for the Sabbath and rested. The Rockies sure seemed to take a load off.

New York Mets
What a fantastic demise! No one's ever done it so well. Jimmy Rollins really made the Mets eat it this season. Yes, the Mets were 10-0 in the games I attended. The problem is I only attended one of those games in September. I accept full responsibility for the Mets massive choking. Because it certainly couldn't have been the starting pitching, the exhausted bullpen, or the total disappearance of Jose Reyes' ability to hit. By the way, the storied career of Tom Glavine, winner of more than 300, may have just ended with the single worst outing of his entire life, conveniently during the final day of the season when the Mets needed him most. I think he'll come back next year just so he doesn't end on that sour note. It just probably won't be with the Mets.

New York Yankees
Remember Joe Torre? Yeah, he's a Dodger now. He told Yanks management to shove their offer, and he loaded up his truck and moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars, and a washed-up Dodgers baseball club. Good luck, Joe. I was gifted a couple of tickets to Game 3 of the Yankees/Indians series. So I saw Joe Torre's last win as a Yankee and what will likely be Roger Clemens' last start. Pulled hammy my ass. Take some Vioxx and get the fuck back on the mound.

A-Rod
Apparently $27,000,000 isn't enough. So he opted out of his contract. It would be nice if general managers everywhere were to pay attention to the fact that he doesn't bring success with him. It would be fantastic if he made less money next year because he opted out of his contract. It won't happen, but a bald dude can dream, can't he?

Rudy Giuliani
The guy's an ass hole.

Bobby Cox
Major props to Bobby for breaking the all-time ejection record. Gosh, he sure gets mad.

Banned Substances
Steroids, speed, HGH, greenies, weed, coke, Marion Jones, dope, LSD, PCP, angel dust, gateway drugs... Anyone else tired of hearing about this crap. Let's play ball, for Christ's sake. And if you're the Rockies, I mean play ball for Christ's sake!

Aw, shit. Wait until next year? I miss baseball already.

UPDATE 11/3/07: As Missy so correctly pointed out in the comments section of B&E, I forgot my photo for non-baseball fans. Since I know Missy is a fan of Zach Braff, I give you...