More About Saving Face

Yes, the missus and I did get to see Alice's film last night upon our return. We were pleased not only by the film itself, but also by the plethora of good press Alice and the movie are getting. Keep fingers crossed that the film gets rolled out to many more markets throughout our great nation. I know some folks in Kansas that would like it a lot.

Some Things I Might've Discussed

landscape
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Politics, entertainment, sports, etc.... Life continued in the U.S. in spite of my absence. Many things went by without my comment, and I'm not so narcissistic to be surprised that they all went on anyway. Still, I might've discussed any of the following:

- Mets vs. Yanks. The Yanks took two of three, much to my chagrin.

- The Nuclear Option. Left-leaning spinmeisters are claiming victory for saving the judicial filibuster, while the right claims victory with the up-and-down vote allowed one right-wing judge Priscilla Owen. For once I agree with the right. One of the lamest, most pathetic "compromises" ever. Democrats are infuriatingly weak.

- Season finales galore. I taped the ones I cared about, but haven't gotten through them all yet.

- And random quirky things that occasionally come up, like Tom Cruise freaking out on Oprah and Access Hollywood, or a friend's new obsession with the Liger.

But really, when you're in the Highlands, it's quite difficult to care about all that bullshit.

Back Through Customs

scotscuisine
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I've got many-a-thought upon my return from ten days of fried bliss in the land of William Wallace and Robert The Bruce. Please allow a little time for said thoughts to congeal. To give you an idea of what I went through, just to the right of this photo (in which it's tragically cut-off) is a lump of deep-fried haggis. I also ate a deep-fried Mars Bar, and yes, that includes the batter.

Reminder: Saving Face

Anyone in New York or LA over Memorial Day weekend should carve out a little time to catch Alice Wu's independent film Saving Face. Click here for the trailer. See also my entry for May 11 for more detail. The film totally rules, as does Alice herself. I'll be returning on Memorial Day and with or without jetlag will be seeing it that evening, getting my cash into the weekend numbers. Go Alice!

Dickhead of the (Next) Week - Anakin Skywalker

Anakin Skywalker
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Well, I may be out of town next week, but there's no shortage of Dickheadedness. Anakin "Sith Lover" Skywalker comes out ahead of the pack. Without even seeing the movie yet, I know that Anakin gets all "Oh, poor, poor, me" and betrays his friends, quotes Dubya nearly verbatim, and turns into the shiniest, heaviest breathing bad guy of all time. Add to this that he can't act his way out of a paper bag, knocks up his wife only to become a deadbeat dad, and twists an essentially decent religion into something dark and evil, and I'm afraid that Dickhead Anakin's right up there with Senator Palpatine Frist, Boba Rove, Grand Moff DeLay, and Cheney the Hutt.

A Short Hiatus, I Expect

The missus and I are off to her homeland of Scotland for about ten days, beginning tomorrow. So, after I do a last couple of posts, I probably won't have another opportunity for a little while. Don't worry. I'll be back eventually.

Asian Night at Shea

jumbotron
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Dude. I'm famous. That's me on the jumbotron, baby. How badass is my wife for arranging that?

To honor the Mets' annual Asian Night, manager Willie Randolph pitched Kazuhisa Ishii, back from the DL for his first start in over a month. He did well. And the Mets won 2-1 on a two-run home run by Kazuo Matsui. So the Japanese were up to the task on Asian Night.

Unfortunately, the Koreans couldn't get in on the action, as Dae Sung Koo came in to finish off the Reds in the ninth inning, but was pulled when two of the three batters he faced reached base. So WASPy Braden Looper had to come in for the save. Somehow this felt historically accurate.

The third of the flags featured on the pre-game jumbotron was China's. Unfortunately, the Mets have no players from China. But Shea Stadium is located in Flushing, the heart of Queens' Chinese community.

We love our Asians here in New York, particularly when they pitch and/or bat well for the Mets.

Today's Birthdays

Apparently, I share a birthday with such luminaries as Craig Ferguson, Bill Paxton, and Dennis Hopper. Oh, and Qusay Hussein.

Mike vs. Ashton

I'm listening to this interview with Richard Roper (as in "Ebert & Roper"), and he just stated in unequivocal terms that Mike Ditka shows more talent and range in Kicking and Screaming than Ashton Kutcher does in any of his movies.

The Inevitability of a Name

A Seattle Mariners' pitcher gave up a grand slam to Bernie Williams of the Yankees last night. The pitcher's name? J.J. Putz.

I Love a Good Scapegoat

Report: Newsweek is now more dangerous to America's reputation abroad than Bush administration policy.

Fuck you, guys. Seriously. Fuck you.

Dickhead of the Week - Dr. W. David Hager

hager
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

With a heads-up from Valerie, I was looking forward to reading more about this Dickhead in my weekly The Nation delivery. And yes, what a Dickhead. In his role as Evangelical Christian advisor, he convinced the FDA not to allow the morning-after pill to be available over-the-counter, going against the FDA's own advisory committee. So policy alone would be enough to warrant Dickheadedness on the part of Dr. David, but you'll be shocked -- shocked, I tell you -- to learn that this moralizer of the Christian Right is also -- gasp! -- a fucking hypocrite. His ex-wife claims that over the course of their 32-year marriage, he repeatedly raped her, both vaginally and anally. Her allegations against him, and indeed her experience being married to him, sound absolutely horrific. And yet the twisted fuck publicly claims that their marriage fell apart because he was "too busy doing the Lord's work." I've never heard a more offensive definition of "the Lord's work" in my life.

Geekdom

star_wars_logo
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Growing up, my sister and I were huge Star Wars fans. Like most kids, I suppose. I had the bulk of the toys, and yet somehow missed out on the Milliennium Falcon, which was the coolest. And the kid down the street stole my Yoda, the little bastard. The kid was the bastard, of course, not Yoda.

I haven't been able to stay clear of the new trilogy. Naturally, I thought the first one was devastatingly bad. Yet I begrudgingly went to see the second. And the first two hours of that one fucking sucked, too, until Yoda got into that light saber fight with Christopher Lee, and I left the theater on such a high that I actually can't wait for the last one.

Anyway, the New York Times has a special section worth exploring. It's fun reading Vincent Canby's original review trying to sound intelligent about the first movie (the one I will only ever call "Star Wars," not "Episode IV: A New Hope"), when just underneath the surface there's this feeling of "What the fuck was that?" The original trailers are awesomely dated. You can try to figure out what Janet Maslin was thinking with her positive review of Episode I.

May the force be with you, always.

A Delicate Balance

breadpudding
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I love Sunnyside, a diverse, down-to-earth neighborhood in Queens, located a convenient fifteen minutes from midtown on the greatest train in New York, the #7. I've lived here over five years, and it's felt like one of New York's best-kept secrets the whole time. It's got everything you need as a local and very few frills.

A new restaurant opened a few months ago, called Bliss, taking over the location of one of the 'hood's many Barf Bars. It's a welcome addition to our neighborhood, and the bread pudding is like magic. I'd venture to say that Bliss is the first upscale restaurant in Sunnyside that isn't also "Klassy" (please pronounce that with a Queens' accent).

But much of Sunnyside's charm lies in its lack of pretention. While I sometimes feel that I'd like a nice place to sit, linger, drink coffee, and hang, I know that having that type of establishment also brings gentrification on a large scale, resulting in the ultra-irritating uber-hip flocking to the neighborhood. And if Sunnyside became the laughably hip Williamsburg... well, dammit, I don't wanna move.

So in the meantime, I'm just gonna sit and enjoy my bread pudding, and hope that the gentrification process continues to move as slowly in Sunnyside as it has for the past twenty years.

My Gay Nurse Is a Saint

So Pope JP Squared has hit the fast-track to sainthood. There are many, many people ready to attribute miracles to JP, including Cardinal Francesco Marchisano, whose vocal chords were temporarily paralyzed during a throat operation. JP lightly stroked his throat, and then, after seven months of therapy, Francesco's voice came back. This is, apparently, a miracle.

Back when I dislocated my shoulder, it was put back in place by a gay nurse wearing bright purple scrubs, who had earlier held up a syringe full of Percodan, exclaiming, "It's better in the butt." Then, after months of physical therapy, my shoulder was good as new. A miracle!

Hey, Catholicism, a modest proposal: Saint Gay Nurse, patron saint of homosexuality and painkilling narcotics, not to mention good times.

Poor, Poor Moderate Republicans

There's an article in The Times today about how moderate Republicans are feeling squeezed. Apparently, they're a bit concerned that their party has been taken over by its right-wing, and now they find themselves in the difficult position of standing up for their beliefs. "Gosh, I don't like John Bolton or the idea of privatizing social security, but I'd hate to be seen as unsupportive of the president."

Well, cry me a fucking river, you yellow bastards. Not only should you stop being pantywaist weaklings, vote your fucking conscience, and oh, I don't know, represent your constituents, but you know what else? This is what you get for pandering to the religious right to win all three branches of the government. You moderates infuriate me so keenly that I'm going to mix my metaphors purposefully.

You've made your bed; now the chickens are coming home to roost.

It's the Subtlety I Like

My friend over at Titivil turned me on to The American Patriot. I'm telling you... minutes of entertainment.

Adding to Titivil's commentary, I'd just like to point out that The American Patriot actually fails his first mission, which seems strange for a comic book hero, particularly the type of hero that Brett Noel has set up in his fine comic.

Plus, at some point, the writer and illustrator need to study the form. I mean, usually in comics the words and pictures are used to accomplish different things, rather than being consistently redundant.

Oh, yes, it so tickles the snob in me. Read the comic and enjoy. You'll eventually get past the anger and head deeply into hysteria.

Saving Face - May 27

savingface
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I hope you'll forgive a promotional entry. My badass friend Alice has a film she wrote and directed coming out May 27. Opening weekend (in this case Memorial Day weekend along with several blockbusters) is the key for small films with no marketing budgets like Saving Face. If the per-screen attendance average is good in New York, LA, and San Fran, then it'll get rolled out to other markets. It's a great movie. Alice's words follow and say more about the film itself, but to the few readers of baldandeffective.com, I say this... It's got hot Asian girl-on-girl action. Apparently, even the straight girls think it's sexy.

------------------

Hi there.

It is with great pleasure that I write to you about my film SAVING FACE soon to be released by Sony Classics in theaters in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco in coming weeks. [NY/LA on MAY 27, SF Bay Area: JUNE 3]

If I am lucky, you have heard of the film. For those who haven't, you can read any number of write-ups about the film on the web, such as here and here.

or view the trailer at the website: http://www.savingfacemovie.com.

We've been an audience favorite at festivals from Sundance to Toronto to San Francisco and on. There have been comparisons to The Wedding Banquet, Bend It Like Beckham, My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- it has been touted as a smart romantic comedy for everyone.

Which is kind of funny and weird. When I wrote SAVING FACE years ago, it was just this story I wrote for myself; it's kind of shocking that something which seemed so specific and personal at the time has now connected with audiences of such wildly different demographics. But in the five years it took to make the film, it's taken a small army of believers: a lot of people's hearts have gone into this film. I think that's what's gotten us here.

The thing about independent films like mine -- even ones that manage to land a great distributor like Sony Classics -- is that we roll out with very little marketing budget. Furthermore, SAVING FACE opens on weekends traditionally reserved for summer blockbusters with lots of ad-spend. How well our film does on opening weekends helps determine how many more cities we open, and how long we stay in theaters. As is typical with smaller independent films, we rely almost exclusively on word-of-mouth. So you're not going to see trailers of my film on the TV or billboards on the freeway, but if you got this email, then someone you know believes in the film.

I am writing in the hopes that you'll be willing to join us. If you are game, show up on opening weekend (info below). I promise high entertainment and that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from being part of something new and grassroots, and hopefully the inspiration to chase after your own specific and personal dreams. You never know.

Thank you,

Alice Wu
Director, SAVING FACE


Here are the dates/locations:

NEW YORK: opens the weekend of MAY 27 at the ANGELIKA (in Soho) and the AMC 25 (on 42nd Street)

LOS ANGELES: opens the weekend of MAY 27 at the SUNSET LAEMMLE 5, the WESTSIDE PAVILION, PLAYHOUSE (Pasadena), TOWN CENTER (Encino), and the SOUTH COAST VILLAGE (Costa Mesa)

SF BAY AREA: opens the weekend of JUNE 3 at the Landmark EMBARCADERO, the UA STONESTOWN Twin, the Landmark SHATTUCK (Berkeley), PALO ALTO SQUARE, CENTURY 5 (Pleasant Hill), SANTANA ROW (San Jose) and MARIN/SAUSALITO

Note to Therapist...

Dontrelle Willis, a pitcher for the Florida Marlins, might just be a little too close to his mother. After the Marlins won the World Series in 2003, Joyce tattooed his name in a rose emerging from her left breast.

Brrrrrrr...

Dickhead of the Week - Chan Chandler

ChansChurch
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I wasn't able to track down a photo of this week's Reverend Dickhead, who has apparently gone into hiding since opting to resign from his position at East Waynesville Baptist in North Carolina. Chan (who gets three extra Dickhead points for having essentially the same first and last name), unsatisfied with Bush's victory last November, excommunicated the nine congregants that voted for Kerry. In his attempt to get his church politically active, he told his flock that he would gladly hold the door open so that those who disagreed with him could leave. (He would presumably keep it from hitting their asses on the way out.) For my money, though, the main reason this jackass is a Dickhead, is that he somehow equates the spiritual growth of his congregation with hate-mongering. And to that, I say, "Up yours, Chan(dler)!"

A Show I Know Very Little About

I swear I only know about the show at all because my wife rubs my head as she watches, but when is that cheesy-ass blond kid gonna get kicked off "American Idol"?

And I swear I don't enjoy it at all, but that Constantine Marsupial was an overrated, pouty-lipped hack, who couldn't carry a tune, no matter how Paula cried when he got voted off.

And I swear I hardly pay attention, but Bo Bice should win for being an old-school, Duane Allman-type vocalist who clearly knows his soul singers. Plus he's been arrested for both cocaine and weed, so he's, like, rock n' roll through and through.

Hold On

I'm very busy. I'll get to you people when I get to you people.

First Game of the Season

The season is actually several weeks old for the hapless McNeill Brewers, but today was my first game with them. We lost 14-6. Really, losing is a given with my team, so it's the little victories we celebrate.

At the top of this game is that we played all nine innings. Usually, there's a mercy rule after 7 innings because we're down by more than 10 runs. Well, today, in both the seventh and eighth innings, we scored enough runs to keep playing against the best team in the league, the Saxtons River Pirates.

While I went 0 for 2 at the plate, I had an RBI and a run scored. LET'S GO BREWERS! Man, we're terrible, and it's awesome.

Lessons from Kansas - Evolution

Darwin was wrong. Just ask the Kansas schoolboard. Oh, how far we've come since 1925.

He's Got Some Super-White Choppers, Too

joeperry
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Joe Perry finished up a whopping two-city tour last night (Boston and New York) to promote his solo album. Joe also has a line of salsas, although he didn't mention those during the gig. I can't hear this morning.

Joe's crowd banter is hilarious, because he just sort of comes off as this mellow, slightly awkward dude, like, "I was feelin' sorta upset one day so I wrote a song about it," or "I'm a little embarrassed to play this one for you because it's called 'Ten Years' which is how long I've been with my wife and I love her a lot," or "I once heard Johnny Cash play a song about seeing the whole world and I could relate so I thought I'd write a song about that, too, only rock n' roll." He constantly referred to the band (which included my brother-in-law) as "some good friends of mine," like they were all just hanging out.

Then he'd totally rock out. I've never seen Aerosmith live, but I have to assume that, since they've been around as long as they have been, Joe's at least partially responsible for many of the guitar-playing cliches, and he pulled out all those, too -- the hopping backwards on one leg that AC/DC really made famous, the falling to his knees, and the playing behind his head. He had a different guitar for almost every song (I've seriously never seen so many guitars in one show), and when he played the single (which he opened and closed with), for the solo, he spun one guitar to his back, and grabbed a second, playing the rest of the song draped by guitars.

It was old school rock music, which I always enjoy a lot. Webster Hall was shaking.

Joe's totally cut, by the way. At one point, he ripped his shirt open to reveal his washboard abs. Hell, if I was his age with washboard abs, I'd rip my shirt open, too. In fact, if I had washboard abs now, I'd probably rip my shirt open.

The guest list was huge and workers-of-the-door tried to tell me I wasn't on it. After explaining for the fourth time that I was probably on the band's list (I could tell she wasn't listening to me), she found me on a single typed page in the back. Since Webster Hall is a club also, the workers-of-the-door are these hipper-than-thou hotties (male and female) who wield vast quantities of enormously annoying power. Downstairs from the venue, in another venue, PlayGirl was having a GIRLS NIGHT OUT party.

Keep your eyes out for the DVD (of Joe, not PlayGirl). And don't forget his line of salsas.

Tee-Hee

Heh, heh. Heh. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha haha. Aaaah, ha ha ha ha ha. Haaaaaaaaaaa. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. HAAAAA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE.

Heh. Heh.

Whew.

I Want To Be Left Behind

Armageddon_it
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Most of you know about the Left Behind franchise. For those of you who don't, a summary...

The Left Behind franchise is a series of books and movies that take place immediately after the rapture. The rapture, for you heathens that will be burning in hell, is the event near the End of Times when the faithful are instantaneously zapped up to heaven by the Gentle Hand of God. The unclean faithless, i.e. those "left behind," are then treated to vast quantities of war, chaos, and Anti-Christitude, usually portrayed to look something like the picture here.

A number of those Left Behind recognize their errant ways and become faithful after the rapture. While it's too late for them to get zapped up to heaven by the Gentle Hand of God, they battle the Forces of Satan on Earth, all while also turning as many faithless as possible into faithful. Ultimately, I think they save their own asses and weasel their way back into the good graces of the Lord Above.

Kirk Cameron stars in the movies. There have been at least two so far.

The Left Behind franchise is a gazillion dollar, self-perpetuating enterprise, read and/or seen by right-wing nuts and supported by a gaggle of religious leaders and communities.

But I think they've got the whole premise wrong. The most close-minded, hateful, and selfish people on this earth are the right-wing Christians. I mean, if the rapture happens, and suddenly we're Left Behind in a world without Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and all the other self-proclaimed faithful... Well, doesn't that sound like a utopian paradise?

One More Reason I Can't Yet Call Myself a Democrat

In Texas, the statehouse has passed legislation banning "suggestive" cheerleading. The debate and the vote were apparently punctuated by waving pom-poms, just so there was no misunderstanding about what exactly cheerleading is. A legislature in little outfits, along with the fact that our president was once a cheerleader, seems rather suggestive to me, but that's neither here nor there.

This legislation was filed by a Democrat. Al Edwards. He argued that sexy performances result in fornication, pregnancies, dropouts, and the clap. Maybe this is the type of bill it takes for a democrat to get elected in Al's district. I don't know.

But what I do know is this: the cheerleaders at Topeka West High School were a bunch of lame-ass goody-goodies who were clearly not doing it right, if we were always ignoring them and watching the games.

The Flag Corps on the other hand... ROWR... But oh! it buuuuuurrrrrns...

Some Clear Thinking

For a quote with content so fucked up on so many levels, the child makes a lot of sense...

"I don't think I should have the baby because I'm 13, I'm in a shelter and I can't get a job."

Parasite

Naturally, I mean Wal-Mart.

Dickhead of the Month - April

frist
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

It's hard to believe that over the course of a month, someone like Tom DeLay could get out-Dickheaded. But never underestimate the Dickheadedness of the religious right. In April alone, Frisky Frist gave us the Terri Schiavo video diagnoses, the support of the nuclear option to kill the filibuster (including a rejection of a wimpy Democratic attempt at negotiation), and his appearance at a nationwide The-Left-Hates-Christians-Aren't-We-All-Victims celebration. Some might say it was a month of pandering to the Republican base, as Billy-Boy considers a run for the presidency in 2008. I no longer believe he's pandering at all. A month this full of idiotic extremism can only come from a sincere belief system. And that makes him all the scarier and Dickheaded.

Dickhead of the Week - Kenneth Y. Tomlinson

tomlinson
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Right-wing domination of the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of the government, not to mention commercial media, is apparently not enough for this week's Dickhead. As chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, Kenny secretly tracked the political P.O.V. of guests appearing on "Now with Bill Moyers," and is alleging a liberal bias at PBS. I'm not sure how tracking one show makes the entire Public Broadcasting System liberal. Hey, Dickhead, have you also been tracking the political P.O.V. of Paul Gigot's show? Because the editoral director of The Wall Street Journal sure is a pinko paintywaist, if ever there was one. But whatever your feelings about "Now," shove it up your ass, Tomlinson. Moyers' career is long enough and esteemed enough to warrant creative control over his own show, without some Dickhead insisting upon editorial changes. What's next? Eliminating the Nature series because they imply endorsement of certain evolutionary theories?

Confirming What Billions Know

Western medicine condescends to centuries-old cures again.

International Sunnyside Press

Admittedly, I'm no jazz aficionado, but when my little neighborhood in Queens is featured in the Guardian UK, I don't care about the reason. Still, it's a nice little tidbit about the 'hood.