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Are You Gay? I’m Not Gay.

Yesterday was the end of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” So now, in support of its expiration, I’m going to ask and tell everyone I meet for the rest of my life.

I’ve found that people really appreciate personal questions from strangers. So add “Are you gay?” to this list of questions I already ask upon meeting someone for the first time:

  • How old are you?
  • How much do you weigh?
  • What’s your religion?
  • Who’d you vote for in the last presidential election?
  • Are you an alcoholic?
  • Ever done narcotics?
  • Are you a recovering addict?
  • Have you ever been accused of a crime?
  • Convicted?
  • How old were you when your lost your virginity?
  • Have you ever had an STD?
  • How many abortions have you had?
  • How big is your penis?/What’s your bra size?

Thanks, military, for letting me add to my list!

One comment on “Are You Gay? I’m Not Gay.

  1. Are you, or have you ever been, bald?

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