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Just Who Do We Think We Are?

No one outside of New York gives a shit about New York. I don’t care what we do or don’t do, interest in New York (especially New York City) is confined solely to political convenience. See “9/11″ and “Ground Zero Mosque” for reference.

So no, I don’t think that same-sex marriage passing in New York has any wider role in the inevitable march to equality than that it’s another step in the inevitable march toward equality. It’s not a game-changer. We haven’t somehow become leaders in a movement. We are simply taking an early step in the process. If anything, it confirms that New York is the crazy place everyone thinks/fears it is.

And no, I don’t think this makes Andrew Cuomo some kind of inevitable front-runner for a 2016 Democratic nomination for president. Even if initial reports about his wheeling and dealing turn out to be accurate (that he was “masterful”), no one will give a shit. Also, if he were to run for higher office, he’ll need to hold an actual press conference with actual questions from actual reporters about actual issues at some actual point. Not that same-sex marriage isn’t an actual issue, but the man just doesn’t hold any actual press conferences. And again, no one outside of New York gives a shit about New York.

Does no one remember Rudy Giuliani? Remember all that fame and fortune he continues to get by exploiting 9/11? Even he couldn’t turn that into enough political goodwill to become the official Republican nominee. Ultimately, no one gave a shit about him.

And on a related note, no, George Pataki, the Republican field doesn’t need you. You would simply join the ranks of uninspired candidates currently running for the Republican nomination. In fact, your ability to suck charisma out of any room you walk into will simply weaken the entire field. So certainly don’t let me stop you from running, but you are blinded by an ego that starts to rival Rudy Fucking Giuliani if you think that you can actually win a presidential election.

That New York is a media center must blind media members into completely buying that sense of self-importance all of us New Yorkers feel about New York. I love New York. I think New York City is one of the greatest places on earth. I love that freaks from all over the world seek out New York as a place to call home. New York is great, and we all know it.

But no one outside of New York gives a shit.

4 comments on “Just Who Do We Think We Are?

  1. Murph on said:

    A true B&E rant. I’ve really missed them. Thank you.

  2. Murph on said:

    PS I will tell you what I do give a shit about: the upper west side H&H closed. You fuckers! I leave that town for 8 short years and everything goes straight to hell.

  3. I’m gonna go ahead and say it… H&H bagels are a bit overrated, unless you happen to get one right out of the oven, at which point they’re heavenly. But if they’re ten minutes old or older, go for an Essa Bagel instead.

  4. Carrie on said:

    But that’s the whole point of the upper west side branch- they are right from the oven. Essa is tasty but a little too pillowy for me.

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