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What’s $18 Million, Anyway?

It doesn’t happen often, but once in a great while, I order something crappy at a restaurant. If it’s exactly as advertised but crappy (i.e. I just plain ordered the wrong meal), I’ll suffer through it just to fill up. After all, I paid for it. Might as well get my money’s worth.

That’s the difference between me and the New York Metropolitans. If they order a bad meal and can’t send it back, they just walk away.

In the past week, the Mets have released $18 million worth of useless baseball players. Okay, useless might be a bit harsh, particularly in the context of the $6 million player released. Luis Castillo played well, just not well enough to warrant getting paid $6 million a year. What can I say? He has a good agent who got him more than he deserved. I don’t begrudge him that. And frankly, I wouldn’t have been so sad to see Luis on the roster this year, even in a part-time role, as the Mets transition into their 2nd baseman of the future, whomever that may be.

In some ways, Oliver Perez (and his $12 million salary for 2011) is the same thing. A guy with a good agent made a deal that paid him a lot of money to pitch for a big market team. Good for you, Ollie.

The problem with Ollie is that he never gave an impression of giving a shit. He was a head case who wouldn’t see a shrink. He had mechanical flaws he refused to work out in the minors. He’d give up three walks in a row, and his attitude wouldn’t shift. It was very easy to interpret everything he did into, “Wow, he really doesn’t give a shit.” And that’s where you lose the fans.

So the Mets had this $12 million plate of shit in front of them. They tried waiting to see if it got better after a couple of bites (“Show us you want to start for us, Ollie”). They tried adding salt to alter it slightly (“How would you do as a left-handed specialist out of the bullpen?”). But finally, realizing that nothing they could do would make this plate of shit taste any better, the Mets simply asked for the check and left the restaurant.

This actually makes more sense to me than how I normally behave at a restaurant. I mean, shit, if it’s a crappy meal, why the hell do I still eat it? So that I’m out my $12 (I don’t go to many fancy restaurants) and make myself feel sick? Ludicrous. Instead, I should just pay and leave. If I’m still hungry, there’s a terrific (and terrifically inexpensive) taco cart near my apartment.

The Mets are still looking for their taco cart.

One comment on “What’s $18 Million, Anyway?

  1. melissa on said:

    mmmmmmmmmm taaacoooosss.

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