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A New Adjective

I’ve got a cousin in the Bay Area that I see once every five years or so, usually at a wedding or a funeral. Apparently, years ago, I told him that the Razor scooters were really getting big in New York. A few months later, they were populating the Bay Area as well. The same thing happened around the time that swing dancing was all the rage, and so he figures that I can predict any trend in San Francisco based on what I observe in New York.

Well, here’s a good one for him. In a few short years, the word cunt will be a readily used adjective. Apologies to my mother for the remainder of this post. I feel pretty safe in saying that cunt is on her list of favorite words. On the other hand, she probably doesn’t keep a list of favorite words at all.

Anyway, let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you’re a fabulous drag queen. You’ve found a particularly good gown, and you’re feeling especially hot, so you look at yourself in the mirror and exclaim, “Damn! I am totally cunt!”

What is still to be determined is whether this usage of cunt will remain within the purview of drag queens and women. Perhaps it will be unacceptable for men to use cunt in this way, like how white people can’t use the n-word. I’d be mostly okay with that sort of parameter, although to be denied such a choice word of empowerment would sting a little bit.

Unfortunately, there are no words for penis with the same power. I can’t tell someone that I looked at myself in the full-length mirror at home and discovered that I looked totally schlang. (Although I’d rather like to now.) But no, I’m afraid cunt is a word in a league of its own. And in some contexts no other word will do.

For example: “The minced lamb, brussel sprouts, and raspberry fool at the Canadian Thanksgiving dinner were totally cunt!” That also happens to be a sentence that describes my Monday evening accurately.

As you were.

2 comments on “A New Adjective

  1. You’ve been hanging out with drag queens?

  2. I just assume most of the women I know are drag queens. Is that not right?

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