New York Governors Watch

What's happening with the New York Governors these days? Who cares? Well, here's a rundown, in case you do...

David Paterson is a lame duck. Since he decided not to run again for Governor, he's hasn't been in the news nearly as much.

Attorney General Andrew Cuomo, who hasn't announced that he's running but who I think will be our next Governor, has gone after Pedro (Yes, Pedro) Espada and his profiting-off-the-nonprofit ways. Pedro said something about the "political establishment" going after him as payback. Dude. You're Majority Leader. I think you ARE the political establishment. Anyway, Andrew still hasn't announced that he's running. And he never gives interviews. He's an oddball, this Andrew Cuomo.

Disgraced former Governor Elliot Spitzer is slowly but surely planning his comeback. He's a bit of a Wall Street expert, so he's turning up on TV here and there while financial reform is in the news. Unfortunately for him, it's going on at the same time that the prostitute he made famous is appearing in Playboy. No links. I'm sure you can find it if you want to.

The Governor before Spitzer, George Pataki, still seems to harbor higher office ambitions, and it's like no one's had the heart to tell him that not only do people outside of New York not give a shit about New York politicians (see: "Giuliani, Rudolph" for just the latest example), but that also Pataki has about as much charisma as that third cousin you've met a dozen times but still can't remember his name. Anyway, Pataki who has a reputation for being a moderate is drifting to the right these days. Which is appropriate: his combover too drifts to the right.

My personal favorite former Governor, Mario Cuomo, taught a Fox News reporter how to do his job today, demonstrating a piece of why he's my favorite former Governor. Do yourself a favor and read the exchange. God-DAMN, Mario is a very civil badass. Mario, I hope your son is as awesome as you are. Is he?