Bottle It Up and Be "Happy"!
Please allow me to draw your attention to Barbara Ehrenreich's fine essay, which is extracted from her book that lays into "positive thinking." Barbara relays her specific experience going through breast cancer treatment and how much the culture of positive thinking (i.e. "cancer is a blessing!") surrounded every step along the way. What she really wanted and needed was an outlet for her anger. Anyway, it's a good essay, and I encourage you to read it.
I have an amiable presence in general, so I think it comes as a surprise to many people, including good friends, that I have a pretty gloomy outlook on life. I don't always expect the best results or see the positive side of things. I find it difficult to visualize an ideal scenario, and when I do, that scenario seems totally out of the realm of reality. So yeah, I guess I'm a bit bleak that way.
That's not to say I don't set goals, make plans, or do any of those other things that people do to improve their lives. I have a Protestant work ethic. And I hope that I'm not so negative to be closed off to the opportunities that present themselves to me. But I tend to think that positive thinking is bullshit.
So I hope (and work) for the best and expect the worst. Truth be told, this approach has served me pretty well. I have a terrific wife and a happy marriage. I've been at a job for more than three years, and I actually still like it, something I've never been able to say before. I enjoy creative pursuits. I'm able to go on vacations and trips with the missus. I find genuine pleasure in good food and the company of good friends, even though I don't drink alcohol.
In other words, I'm happy. I don't want to be anyone else or have another life. My inability to think positively has not seemed to hinder me. And in fact I think that not forcing myself to be positive all the time gives me a full experience. I call it "life."
Labels: link, me, observations
posted by Dan G @ 10:25 AM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
While the benefits of "positive thinking" may be in question, the ill effects of "negative thinking" are quite clear.
You can think yourself into a downward spiral quite easily, perhaps the reverse is possible as well. People walk across hot coals, or slow or stop their heart, or watch "Full House" reruns on a regular basis and many other amazing things that seem dubious at first.
It is an interesting issue. Victor Frankl, in Man's Search for Meaning argues that we can get through anything if we can find a way to frame it as meaningful. Lots of people feel betrayed by illness or hardship, and thinking of these things in a positive light is reassuring. I think the problem comes when you are in the thick of pain and people are saying "But you should be happy your arms fell off! Think of all the ways you will grow from this!" We should all be allowed to be sad and angry for as long as it takes until we are ready to accept our new reality and frame it however we need to to keep living. This shit is hard.
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