Boy, That's Some Start to the Off-Season

Nothing breeds failure like failure. Ah, Mets. Thou art so lame and useless.

Do the Mets get a pass for the 2009 season? Perhaps. After all, injuries plagued the poor bastards, and they never really stood a chance with so many theoretical all-stars out of the lineup.

Still, one can't deny the ethos of losing that surrounds this fair team I love. Perhaps deep down, this is why I love them. Hell, maybe it's not even that deep down. The Mets are losers. They've proven it time and time again.

And everyone in baseball knows it.

The Mets have been trying to make a splash with some trades and some free agents this winter, so far with little success. The best players have been snatched up by winners. Way to go, Yankees, Red Sox, and Phillies.

Meanwhile, the Mets made a pretty generous offer to the overrated Jason Bay. He's got no other offers on the table, and he's just sitting on it. Just sitting. Hoping for something better.

I'm guessing he'll sign with the Mets eventually and have a decidedly mediocre season. Maybe he'll hit a few more home runs than anyone did this past season, but hell, Rod Carew could probably do that. And he'll strike out a bunch and make some bonehead plays in left field and blow some games and become the next great Mets scapegoat, joining such names as Kaz Matsui and Ollie Perez and Luis Castillo (who managed to get off the shitlist in 2009 - congratulations, Luis).

So here's where I'm gonna find my 2010 Mets Joy: R.A. Dickey. First of all, his name is Dickey. Have fun with that in New York, buddy.

Dickey signed a minor league contract with the Mets. His career has been decidedly mediocre. But here's why I like him: 1) He's a knuckleballer, and there isn't a funner pitch to watch thrown in baseball; and 2) He's missing a ligament in his elbow that, in theory, allows pitchers to pitch well.

Because he's only signed a minor league contract, we probably won't see him on the Mets roster until, if history is any guide, May of this season, when he'll join the rotation. And then I can't wait to see the fireworks.

I might even get myself a Dickey jersey. Because who doesn't want a jersey with Dickey across the back.