Friday, October 16, 2009

You Know What, Gray? Blow Me.

I first began to suspect that I was losing my hair when I was about 20. I had a long mane at the time, and the amount of hair that would end up in my hands during any given shower seemed a bit extreme, even though women with lots of hair assured me that they ended up with handfuls in their showers too.

Finally, the number of follicles couldn't sustain the length and off it came. I was 23.

Considering how much I had enjoyed having long hair, losing it wasn't something that bothered me all that much. And I've always rather enjoyed the feel of a shaved head.

As is true for many bald men, growing a beard comes pretty easily for me. And if I have an excuse not to keep my face trimmed I'll let it go. Long-time readers might even remember my short-lived dream and aborted attempt at competing in the World Beard and Mustache Competition.

Well, a month away from people in the rural upper midwest seemed as good a time as any to let the facial hair grow.

B&E readers, I have gray whiskers on my chin. This hardly seems fair. So I wrote the following letter:

Dear Aging Gods,

Hi. How are you? I'm fine.

Well, am I fine? I'm a bald man. I've accepted and embraced this as my lot in the aging process. I also accept (if not embrace) the squirrelly hairs that appear in areas where they shouldn't. (I've got the missus on the lookout for the ones I expect will appear in my ears.)

Additionally, I have bad knees, and occasionally, I tweak my back all out of joint.

Please excuse me from going gray. It really isn't too much to ask.

Thank you for your consideration,

So that should work.

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At 7:44 PM , Anonymous blondandeffective said...

Maybe the gray hairs will give you a reprieve from that bastard gray gander who, upon seeing your gray, might feel a new sort of kinship with you. Maybe those gray hairs, not unlike the fortuitous aforethought of the missus regarding the coffeemaker, just might save your life!

At 10:30 PM , Blogger Missy said...

Dude, I think Wisconsin is making you paranoid.

At 3:05 PM , Blogger Carrie said...



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