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I Didn’t Find the Piggly-Wiggly

Today I ventured into town. That’s about a half hour from the cabin in which I’m staying. While I was at the Walgreen’s, I asked for directions to the nearest grocery store. The cashier gave me directions and said, “Your other alternative is the Walmart right there, but the Piggly-Wiggly is probably better.” I agreed with her and drove to the Piggly-Wiggly.

I’m pretty sure I followed the directions she gave me, and I even retraced my path once, but alas, I didn’t find the Piggly-Wiggly. So I got my groceries at Walmart.

As a city shopper, I’m not used to bulk quantities, and I know that when it comes to BULK quantities Walmart offers Sam’s Club. But let me tell you: these were bulk quantities. I wanted to buy a roll of toilet paper (which I forgot to get at Walgreen’s). Single rolls of toilet paper are common in New York City. But my only option was to buy enough toilet paper for an army barracks full of diarrhea sufferers. I held off, figuring that what I have will last at least until my next trip into town.

I’d also been very pleased with my first purchase of Wisconsin cheddar cheese that I picked up in Madison en route, and I hoped to find some more. It wasn’t easy to find local products (I very nearly bought some Vermont cheddar, which would’ve been like buying Finger Lakes wine in the South of France), but I finally found some Bucky Badger cheese. I’m assuming that the badger in question is referring to the University of Wisconsin mascot. If I end up eating badger cheese, someone will pay. After I do, of course.

I don’t know, B&E; readers. I admit that Walmart is actually a pretty foreign concept to me. We don’t have ‘em in NYC, and until today, the only reason I’d been in one was to get a gas cap replaced. (It’s very hard to get a gas cap replaced.) I’ve read enough anti-Walmart press to know why, politically, I shouldn’t like them or support them.

But I think the experience would’ve bummed me out without my knowledge of the corporation and its destruction of small town America. It was the experience itself that bummed me out. With all those giant mounds of inexpensive goods there was very little I found appetizing. I don’t know that I actually got the food I need for the week.

Damn that elusive Piggly-Wiggly.

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