Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The President Should Stop Doing Stuff

It was totally wrong for President Barack Hussein Obama to make a speech to our nation's school children, encouraging them to stay in school. If I want my kid to be home-schooled or better yet to drop out, it's totally my choice, and President Obama can't make me keep my kid in school! What does he think this is? Nazi Germany? Today in France?

And as long as I'm airing grievances about President Barack Hussein Obama, here are a few other things he shouldn't be doing, have done, or plan to do...

1) Be born in Hawaii. It's downright anti-American.

2) Brush his teeth. We've already got a war on terror; we don't need a war on tooth decay.

3) Play basketball. Swagger much, you cocky motherfucker?

4) Make speeches of any sort. The executive branch is about secrecy; loose lips sink ships, you idiot.

5) Travel. This is America; we don't need a leader influenced by other countries. Countries like Europe or Havana or Hawaii.

6) Wear suits. Oh, you look SO good!

7) Take vacations. You should always be working. Go to a ranch and clear some fucking brush.

8) Have a family. A hot wife and cute daughters play to our basest instincts. Shame on you.

9) Smile. What the fuck do you have to be happy about?

10) Eat dinner. There are hungry people around the country and world, and when you eat - especially food from your precious organic garden - you're really just showing off. Snack on your massive ego instead.

Yes, I could go on. But President Barack Hussein Obama, I think you get my point.

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