Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What's the Matter With Florida?

I gotta tell ya, folks, there's something strange about Florida. It's already suspect because of the 2000 election, those weird expansion baseball teams that make it to the playoffs, and the curious retirement communities. Plus, you know... it's my birth state.

But in Florida's 16th Congressional District, well, frankly, I'm beginning to think the water isn't potable.

Some of you will remember Republican Mark Foley, who was caught writing inappropriate text messages to his underage pageboys. In 2006, he was replaced by Democrat Tim Mahoney, who promised to bring some good old-fashioned decency back into the office.

Turns out that Tim was pallin' around (sans pants) with a lady staff member during the election in which he promised to bring that good old-fashioned decency back into the office. I guess by "decency" he meant banging chicks instead of harassing underage pageboys.

Tim also shelled out $121,000 (and a job) to keep the woman quiet. And although he has admitted to violating the woman, he says he didn't violate any laws or his oath of office.

And naturally, he considers it to be a "private matter." Good luck with that, Tim.

What is it with these douchebag politicians who can't keep their Jolly Ranchers in their wrappers?

If you enjoy sordid political affairs, you can read more about it here.

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