Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tourists Stink

With my outer-borough lifestyle (living in Queens, working in Brooklyn), I'm not one of those New Yorkers that gets annoyed at the tourists. In fact, I'm fairly convinced that it's because of rich foreigners that New York hasn't seen the brunt of the recession the rest of the country feels (and that we'll now feel with the tanking of Wall Street).

So tourists? No, I don't think they stink in the "stop staring upward and keep moving along the sidewalk" way.

I mean they literally stink.

I cross paths with the tourists nearly every evening on my walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to get the subway home. And those hot, summer walks... well, let's just say that most of the people I walked by gave off the distinct aroma of someone who's been in the hot sun all day.

This body odor thing was something I thought would taper off as the weather cooled, but yesterday evening I noticed more nuance to the stank.

First of all the BO persists. And I'm smelling my own armpits up close, so I'm fairly certain it's not me. It's certain sweaty men (mostly, but not solely men) who are overdressed or somehow unprepared for the hot weather. That, or they just don't believe in deodorant, showers, or both.

Secondly, there's nothing Brooklyn Bridge walkers appreciate more than a tasty cigarette while strolling. Now, in fairness, some of these smokers could be locals. But I walk the Bridge a lot, and there's a big difference between the commuters and the tourists. Largely, the smokers are tourists. You might be surprised to hear that they're often French.

Finally, today, a new phenomenon. I don't know if it was because there was less breeze today or what, but the perfume was so stinky from a half dozen or so different ladies that it was almost deafening.

So tourists, a modest proposal... Come to New York and use your hotel showers. Spend your money at a Duane Reade and get yourselves some deodorant. If you're not used to deodorant, the Tom's of Maine brand is quite mild and comes in delicious flavors.

And ease up on the eau de toilette, eh?

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At 8:22 AM , Blogger Matt said...

Amen. And the Tom's of Maine Calendula scent is my personal fave.

Can you believe I've never walked the bridge?


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