Republican Convention Watch 2008 - Day 2

The Republicans are finally getting their party going here. So far it's been a lot of patriotic posturing. Lots of flags.

PBS commentators are speculating about Sarah Palin's home life. Good mother? Maybe, maybe not. Poor daughter? Certainly. Would her daughter be thrust into the spotlight if Palin had said, "Thanks, but no thanks?" Who knows? And frankly, who cares? I want to know if she'll be a good vice president.

John McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds just said, "An unique." He should be disqualified from being a spokesman. Unique begins with a Y-sound. Y is a consonant. "A unique" would be correct and less pretentious.

I don't like that Tucker Bounds. Somehow I doubt I'm going to like many of the Republicans we'll be hearing from over the next few days.

Some Alaskan sounds very defensive about her "experience" and then turns right around and calls her a "quick study." Ease up, buddy. Methinks thou dost protest too much. He just said she's going to be a "great grandmother." Palin's actually going to be just a "grandmother," but no one corrected him.

Oh, looky! It's bat-shit crazy Michelle Bachmann! She is titivil's mostest favorite bat-shit crazy subject. She talks with a really vapid smile on her face. And I don't mind admitting that she freaks me out.

Cindy McCain apparently saved a couple of Bangladeshi girls from Mother Teresa's orphanage. I had no idea that Mother Teresa was such bad news. Hey, how'd the McCains get around all those adoption rules? Someone pulled some fucking strings, man. Investigate, you investigators out there!

Historians! They're talking about vetting. Comparing to Bush 1's choice of Quayle. No denying the similarities. And McGovern screwed up his first VP pick in 1972. But the 18 days he had the bad choice was enough to get people to question his judgment. Or was it throwing him off the ticket that hurt McGovern. Bush 1, after all, kept Quayle. Basically, history hasn't taught us anything here. The historians have no answers for us on the Palin issue. Still, I like the way they talk all pretty!

David Brooks (Yarnell) just said, "Her daughter is pregnant, her husband had a DUI twenty years ago, and the Palins once put a tin can in the plastic recycling!" Boy, he's been wanting to use that joke for 72 hours, and I have to say he nailed it. Really hit it out of the park. I'm still laughing. I've missed the rest of the conversation I'm laughing so hard. That Yarnell is almost as funny as the original Yarnell. (Do a YouTube search if you don't remember Shields and Yarnell, the comedy mimes.)

Anyway, I'm stepping away from the TV for a few moments.