A Couple of Bald Updates

Well, my people sure know that I appreciate bald-related items.

A colleague found this here button.


I must say that it sure would be a better button if Mr. Bald felt a bit happier about being bald and for Obama. It would send a positive message to the kids, who are our future, provided we teach them well and let them lead the way.

Quite some time ago, another friend sent me a link to this photo of Cameron Diaz bald.


It's pretty obviously a skull cap, but she looks pretty happy about it.

And then a few days ago, yet another friend sent me a link to this little NPR story discussing how, since the days of the Russian Revolution in 1917, the Soviet Union/Russia have been alternating their leadership between the well-covered and the shiny heads. Lenin, bald; Stalin, haired; and so on through Gorbechev, bald and Yeltsin, haired. Putin they put in the bald column, although that’s a bit of a stretch. He’s thinning, sure, but not bald. His replacement Medvedev has a healthy head of hair.

Meanwhile, in the United States, we haven’t had a bald leader for quite some time, as I’ve written before. Will Ike be our last president elected with an uncovered dome? Gerald Ford was a more recent bald president, sure, but he was also not elected.

In our recent primaries, the baldies didn’t fair well. Giuliani, for example, didn’t win a single delegate on the Republican side. Was it because of his bald head or because he’s a Dickhead?

McCain falls into that curious category of “tweeners.” He’s pretty thin up top, but what he does have he uses to try to hide the bald bits. This obvious sign of insecurity should be a major red flag for voters.

Biden’s hair is the subject of some debate. He’s got nothing on the backside of his head, but upfront, he’s got a thick row of bangs, which flow back to cover the back. I had assumed that he had the male pattern baldness of a friend of mine who’s not receding at all upfront, while the rest of his head continues to expand its baldness. But according to that same NPR story, Biden may have opted for plugs at some point along the way. If that’s true, it’s more suspect even than McCain’s cover-up. Fortunately for the Obama-Biden ticket, I’m not a one-issue voter.

As for our other candidates...

Well, obviously, Barack Obama’s hair is still going strong, although the stress of the campaign has added some gray to the color palette.

And Sarah Palin has the obvious hair-producing advantage of a body chemistry that creates less testosterone than her fellow candidates for high office. But I can’t say I’m a big fan of how she flaunts her thick-haired credentials by beehiving it right in our faces. I mean, really: the arrogance; the sheer arrogance.