Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - Mark Warner

Former Governor and current Senate candidate Mark Warner of Virginia is the official keynote speaker.

Leading into Warner's speech is Lily Ledbetter who lost her case before the Supreme Court. It's a compelling story too complicated to summarize here, but suffice to say, she got screwed out of pay because she's a woman. It was a truly bullshit decision by this right-wing court of ours.

I've got mixed feelings about this Mark Warner character, so let's see what he's got to say about things. The missus says he's toothy. She's nothing if not observant.

Apparently, Mark Warner has more money than God, if he's talking about his success as an early adopter of the cell phone industry.

Now that I'm looking, I'm noticing that Warner spends a lot of time licking his teeth and lips. It's a bit distracting.

Warner's giving me a feeling of "meh." He lacks dynamism. The content's good. He even said, "infrastructure," which as my three readers know I find sexy.

The missus just started kissing me, which is a lot more interesting. Yeah, so I did that for a while. Who's speaking?

Oh, it's still Warner. He's talking about common ground. And he's still licking his lips and teeth.

Now he's touting his accomplishments as Governor. He's thinking 2016 right now. He got some kid a high-tech job. Well done, Governor. He acknowledged that it's difficult to be the next keynote speaker after Barack Obama four years ago. It's good he mentioned it because he's nowhere near as good.

Jim Lehrer just said that Warner founded Nextel. Yeah, so he really does have more money than God, so that's nice for him.

Our political parties are corporations run by corporate raiders. It's actually a bit surprising that I'm not voting for Nader because he's totally right about that.

But I guess I'm willing to give one of the two major parties one more shot. Don't fucking blow it, Democrats.

Shields and Yarnell are discussing the speech and the convention so far. Yarnell's all, "These people are rhetorically boring." Shields is more forgiving of the rhetoric.

An interview with Michelle Obama follows. She seems pretty comfortable in an interview, too.