Democratic Convention Watch 2008 - John Kerry

Mr. Personality is speaking now. I'm already tired.

Jesus, if this guy were president now, John McCain would be running away with this election.

I'm looking at his face and hearing, "Blah blah blah..." Nice head of hair, though. And I know a nice head of hair when I see one.

OK, his passion on torture actually got my attention. (John Kerry is against torture.)

Like Mark Warner, John Kerry is a lip-licker. And he's lip-licking his way through an attack on "Candidate McCain" vs. "Senator McCain." He makes some good points, but I wish he had more charisma. "Talk about being against it before being for it!" he says in an attempt at self-deprecation.

The Mets are losing to the Phillies 3-2 in the bottom of the 7th inning, by the way. So much for first place.

He's doing a bit of a call and response now. Who can we count on? (Audience: BARACK OBAMA!)

OK, John Kerry. Wrap it the fuck up. You go too long, and we're done with you.

Oh, look! Barack Obama's uncle. He helped liberate Buchenwald. He's old and touched by the attention.

The missus just got home, and she said that John Kerry was very good on the radio on her way home. Well, seeing that long, dull, lip-licking face really makes a big difference, apparently.

"In closing!" He just said, "In closing!" And he closed. Whew.

Shields and Yarnell now. Shields said it wasn't a typical Kerry speech. Still seemed sorta dull, but maybe he meant context.

They're cut off by the only woman three-star general in the Army. Well, she's a badass, isn't she?

UPDATE: The Mets tied it up in the 8th on a home run by Carlos Delgado.