Too Many Dickheads to Mention

Big shocker here. The oil companies are spending their record profits on stock buybacks, thereby limiting the total number of shares available to the public, which in turn inflates the price of the stock. That way, investors in the oil companies have a boatload of stock worth a shitload of money, and they reward the CEOs accordingly, bringing us once again back to my original Dickhead of the Week posting about Exxon Mobil CEO Rex Tillerson.

What they're not spending their windfall profits on (or at least not in any form that can make a difference) is exploration of alternative energy sources. Imagine if Exxon Mobil and ConocoPhillips took those bajillions and invested in solar or wind power.

And I don't pretend to know everything about business, but if our move to alternative energy is inevitable, wouldn't it behoove Exxon Mobile and ConocoPhillips to own the shit out of it?

In the meantime, Chuck Schumer has it right: the oil companies are screaming out for a windfall profit tax. Oh, and also in the meantime, they're all a bunch of fucking Dickheads.