The Mets Stink, and It's All Tom Nieto's Fault

The Mets finally fired Tom Nieto. This has been a group of underachieving, overpaid wannabe superstars, and no one is to blame more than the lackluster first-base coach.

In the last week alone he tried to hold Jose Reyes at first on a triple, he flat-out refused to take Carlos Beltran's ankle armor after a walk, and his pep-talks ranged from, "Take a seat; there's no point" to "Thirty-seven planes have flown over Shea since the third inning."

And don't even get me started about his butt pats. I mean, let's face it: those things are caresses with a dollop of squeeze.