Groundhogs - Pennsylvania vs. New York

Yesterday was Groundhog Day.

Punxatawney Phil resides in Punxatawney, Pennsylvania. That cowardly groundhog came out of his tree stump or whatever, saw his shadow, and ran back into this tree stump or whatever. Six more weeks of winter, says that crying douchebag.

Staten Island Chuck resides in Staten Island, New York. Chuck came out of his shrub or whatever, didn't see shit, popped open a cool Coors 16-ouncer, smoked a couple of Kents, and said, "Bring on the warm weather, bitches."

Phil had a movie made about him. Chuck was too busy shooting up heroin to care.

Phil has apparently been right about 35% of the time, while Chuck has about a 70% accuracy rate. This is, of course, according to a New York news crew.

I'm going with Chuck, pictured here eating a PCP-laced carrot stick.