What Stood Out This Week - 11/25-12/1

Oh, it was a busy one, and one during which I almost didn't wait until it was time to tell you What Stood Out This Week.

Let's start with the Democrats, shall we?

Early in the week, I caught wind of a poll that stuck with me. In head-to-head match-ups, Hillary loses against the top five Republican candidates. Obama and Edwards defeat them.

I relay this tidbit because it Stood Out This Week, and also because I'm a fan of primaries. I feel it's the one opportunity during the election cycle we voters have to support the candidate we are truly most aligned with. We don't have to compromise during the primary. In recent elections, Democratic primaries have been won because candidates attempt to convince the electorate that they have the best chance of winning against the Republican. For reasons that escape me, this has meant Al Gore (remember that this was the pre-Inconvenient Truth Al Gore, the one that was sort of a Robo-Gore) and John Kerry, two of the least inspired candidates in the world. They were the safe choices. And somehow they convinced voters that they could win.

Fuck that, voters. Vote for whom you like for real in the primary, and let's see who that is. If Hillary truly inspires you, vote for her. But if you support the front-runner just because you think she's the best chance we've got, be aware that history has proven that the "best chances we've got" fucking lose.

In other news, Barbra Streisand endorsed Hillary Clinton, and Oprah Winfrey endorsed Barack Obama. A powerful and egomaniacally narcissistic woman needs to endorse John Edwards and stat! I'm talking to you Martha Stewart! Or Rosie O'Donnell! Hell, man, even Tyra Banks might do the trick! She is, after all, "fierce" and equally annoying.

Yesterday, some dude held a few people hostage in one of Hillary's campaign offices in New Hampshire. He was arrested, but I've got no sense about what he wanted or what he was really up to.

And at some point, John Edwards gave a pretty inspired speech in front of the Democratic National Committee. If only Tyra was there to back him up.

OK, now the Republicans... Man, what a bunch of bitches. They had themselves a nasty debate that really showed just how assholic Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani are. If you happened upon a clip of their little spat over immigration, the rage seething beneath their teeth-clenched grins was palpable. "Your city was a haven for illegal immigrants!" "Your mansion was a haven for illegal immigrants!" "I hate you." "I hate you more." "You're a dick." "That's really insensitive because you KNOW I had prostate cancer."

And speaking of immigration and hatred, remember when Tom Tancredo was the crazy one on this issue? For a while I was convinced he thought that the New Mexicans were about to invade his home state of Colorado. But now it's like some kind of contest to see who can hate the immigrants the most. I'm waiting for the day that someone calls this what it is -- racism -- but since most Democrats don't have any balls worth speaking of, I don't see this happening anytime soon.

Oh, and man, I almost forgot, Rudy Giuliani apparently used city funds to go bang his then-girlfriend Judith Nathan. Yo, bitch. Those were my tax dollars. Still, that shit can't possibly fly with the Republican base, can it? Pat Robertson? Anything you want to say about your endorsement?

It was a busy time for What Stood Out This Week, dear B&E readers. We are just about four weeks from the first primary votes being cast.

Vote for whom you like, dear friends. Vote for whom you like.