Robert the Bruce's Skull Will Be Happy

The mystery of Scotland, well, it mystifies. But apparently it's a mystery that will soon be declaring its independence. Details remain murky to this occasional visiting Yank, but when the missus and I paid Scotland a visit last week, the country was all a-buzz with talk of freedom.

Here's a summary of my understanding, which I freely admit could be way the hell off-base, particularly since I simplify things in my own head in order to make sense of events:

For decades, the Scottish Nationalist Party has been on the fringe of mainstream politics. A legitimate party, yes, and one with decent support in Scotland, but not at the level of Labor, Conservative, and Lib-Dem. (I learned this trip, by the way, that the missus' grandfather was a founding member of the SNP. How fucking cool is that?)

Since Scotland got its own Parliament in the late 90s, the SNP has grown, thanks perhaps especially to the disaster of the Iraq War. The SNP was against the war from the beginning, and with Labour policies hosing the Scots, the previously dominant party is losing its influence. Tony Blair is exceptionally unpopular in Scotland these days.

Of course, the Scottish Parliament has a limited scope. They can make decisions about how tax revenue is spent, for example, but they can't raise or lower the taxes on their fellow citizens. Major decisions are still made in the UK Parliament in London.

Scottish Parliament, however, has made one important decision: a referendum to the Scottish people, allowing them to vote for devolution this May. And a solid majority wants to be free.

Countries in the North Sea have some of the highest standards of living in the world - Norway and Iceland, for example. Why not Scotland? After all, Scotland has the oil. But oil companies have been given such a sweet deal by the UK Parliament, Scotland sees very little revenue. Instead, the profits go back to the international conglomerates.

The Labour Party is pouring money into a campaign to convince the Scots that they'll be worse off if they devolve. Most Scots are like, "How can we be worse off? And even if we are, at least we're in control of our own misery for a change."

Meanwhile, former Chairman of the Royal Bank of Scotland (currently the world's fifth largest bank) has thrown his support behind devolution and the SNP. Boy, did that get Tony Blair's knickers in a twist.

Once the Scots vote themselves free, apparently they go to the UN for recognition. The feeling is that the UN would have to recognize a free Scotland if that's what the people want.

It just seems so easy for Scotland to declare its independence. Won't the UK government find a way to stop it? They really can't? I mean, I don't think they should deny the Scots their freedom, but I find it hard to believe that there's no safeguard in place to keep this from happening.

And the Queen officially rules Scotland, too, so I'm not sure how the monarchy fits into this. Scotland's free, but they're still a part of the commonwealth? More like Canada and Australia and less like England and Wales?

How long before Wales devolves?

Remember when Tony Blair was first elected prime minister? In the US, Bill Clinton was at the height of his popularity, and Blair seemed like a shining beacon of hope to liberalize the UK after years of Thatcher and Major.

Clinton's legacy is NAFTA, welfare "reform," and a series of blowjobs in the Oval Office.

Blair's legacy could well be a disastrous war in Iraq and the loss of one-quarter of the United Kingdom.