Happy Thanksgiving

I'm sitting here watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade... oh, excuse me... the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... and it occurs to me that other than the warm feelings of nostalgia I feel, I hate the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Lip-synched musical numbers, tacky floats, silly marching bands... who needs it?

Hey, look! Tom Otterness did a balloon! Cool!

I found the parade on NBC first, but it's also on CBS. How the hell does that work? And why?

That new (old) Snoopy as World War I Flying Ace balloon kicks ass, though. And it's brought to us by United Features Syndicates. Why do I need to know that?

Maybe I don't get it because I don't have any damned kids, but what's the deal with Laurie Berkner?

And why the fuck does Barbie get a goddamned musical number?

OK, I'm not turning this into a live blog of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. But it's an idea for next year, assuming I'm not doing any cooking.

Seriously, the parade is stupid. And yet I can't stop watching. I hate it. I love it. I hate myself. I love myself.

Eat lots of turkey, everybody. Can we get a "Bah Humbug!"?