Bottom of the 1st

Steve Trachsel's called quirky by some. And crappy by others. He gets a bad rap, says I. Sure, he's had a few bad outings, but for a while there, he was the most consistent pitcher for the Mets. And anyway Just because he's got OCD doesn't mean he's a hack. You do your crosswords, Steve. I believe in you.

This is Steve's first playoff appearance, apparently. Good for you, Steve.

Rafael Furcal is a Met killer. Or was when he was a Brave. Now with the Dodgers, not so much. Watch me eat my words. Why can't I shut the fuck up? Trax gets behind, but works his way back to a full count. And he strikes Furcal out looking. Oh, that's nice. Way to go, Steve. I support you. And you got us one out.

Kenny Lofton now bats. Rumor has it he's gay. I don't care as long as he keeps popping up like that. David Wright makes the easy catch. One-handed, which Phil doesn't approve of. I gotta say I'm with him. Two hands, David. Two hands. Two outs.

Marlon Anderson batting third, and immediately delivers a single into right. There goes the no-hitter. That's OK, Steve. I still affirm your pitching.

Redneck Jeff Kent now. Boy, this guy's a jackass. People say future Hall of Famer, and who gives a shit. A goddamn routine groundball to Wright, and his throw pulls Delgado off the bag. First and second now. Still two outs. Delgado was smart to go get that ball rather than try to stretch for it.

JD Drew batting. I always get him confused with JT Snow. JD hits a slow roller to Delgado, who flips to Trax for the out. Nice putout, Steve. I have confidence in your fielding abilities.

Mets 3, Dodgers 0. End of the 1st.