Mmrrrrr...?

hastert
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I've always been of the opinion that Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert, looks like a character from Blazing Saddles. You know, one of the many Johnsons in the town. But you've gotta have respect for Dennis. He's a Fat Cat in Washington, old-school style. Bow down at the altar of his jowls!

The Labor Department released its latest job creation findings, and it's not so good, as only 113,000 jobs were created in July, and unemployment is as high as it's been in five months.

So how does Hastert greet this news? With a press release praising the creation of 113,000 jobs. Patting his belly and shaking all four cheeks for emphasis, Hastert announced, "Our economy is robust, like those two bottles of '82 Bordeaux I consumed with my 32-ounce ribeye at lunch. Pass the Percocheese: I think my gout's acting up again."

So fresh off his success of linking a raise in the minimum wage to a cut in the estate tax, Dennis Hastert's first order of business is to put out the Dumbest Press Release Ever.