Sioux Falls, and They Can't Get Up

baby crawl
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Minor League baseball is great, mostly because the players try hard and the between-inning promotions totally rule. The picture to the right, for example, shows the baby crawl race just prior to the bottom of the third inning during a recent Single-A game on Staten Island. The kid that couldn't yet stand won. I think the event was brought to us by a baby store. Or maybe a mattress store. I can't remember. So clearly these promotions work.

Anyway, the Sioux Falls Canaries tried a publicity stunt of their own this week. Eighty-three-year-old Jim Eriotes led off the game and became the oldest pro baseball player. He struck out in his only at-bat.

But the Canaries didn't give him a real chance. They sent him out first thing, everyone had a good chuckle, and then they benched him. Ernie was there to play ball. To the Canaries, he was nothing but a publicity stunt and joke.

Hey, Canaries! You oughta be ashamed of yourselves. You don't fuck with the seniors. In the dugout after the game did you hold his heart medication out of reach? Snap his aged buttocks with your towels? Play keep-away with his Valtrex?

Wait. Is Valtrex for arthritis or herpes?

[Thanks to Phil for putting the story on my radar.]