Awesome Music in Praise of God!

grindint
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

I want so badly for my local coffee joint to be good. And it's coming up just a bit short.

I've complained about the name before -- The Grind. It's a dumb name. Even dumber with the tagline, We Put the Bump and Grind in Your Coffee. You see, for an extra fifty cents, they'll put a "bump" (i.e. a shot of espresso) in your drink. Even if you like that idea, the name is dumb.

There were other red flags from the beginning. Before they opened, their sign read, "Expresso and Ambiance." Upon opening, I worried that they were trying to do too much too soon -- coffee, fondue, and some kind of pseudo fancy martini thing in the evenings.

While I've had bad luck with the sandwiches, it's hard to screw up a New York bagel. The service for anything other than coffee tends to be slow. New York establishments are particularly good at speedy service, so when you hit a slow one locally, man, you notice.

The vibe needs some work, too. The music is way too loud and crappy -- sometimes classic rock, but mostly Z-100, which is really about as bad as it comes here in NYC. There are a couple of big screen TV's. The first few times I was in there, they were playing classic comedies with the sound down -- "I Love Lucy," the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges. Now it's all sports. I love my sports (particularly baseball and the World Cup -- oh, Zidane!), but ESPN makes the Grind feel like a bar.

Prime window seating is taken up by a row of computers, giving that section the feel of an internet cafe, complete with teenagers gaming. Meanwhile, there's no wireless for those of us in need of a change of location from our regular workplaces. (And, naturally, if I've forgotten my headphones, I'm not going to be getting any work done, anyway.)

I'm hopeful that they've finally gotten the temperature issues under control (a new AC unit!), but it's always a bit hot in there. I don't think they factored in the direct sunlight, the kitchen activity, and the plethora of hot plates keeping the coffee warm.

And speaking of hot plates, occasionally, you get a cup of coffee that's been sitting on the hot plate too long. I don't know why they didn't go for the vacuum-storage solution most coffee places have as standard these days. Between burning the coffee from the base and the oxygen going in the pour spout, you can, from time-to-time, get a cup of coffee that's a little assy.

Mostly, though, the coffee's good, and the space is comfortable. The staff and owners are nice. Because they're trying so hard, I'm having a hard time figuring out the best way to register my complaints without insulting anyone.

They've also done a little experimenting with live music. Mostly jazz in the evenings. Because they've been talking up the gross-sounding martinis, I don't have the inclination to check out the scene in the evenings.

This Friday, the Grind reaches to a new high: the Almighty. Several self-printed signs are up promoting a Christian rock band. "Awesome music in Praise of God!"

So how good will my coffee taste if it's been blessed by the zealots?

"We've put a big bump in your grind this morning -- the bump of Jesus Christ, who died on the cross at Golgotha, the place of the skull, so that you may enjoy your cup of joe with the peace that passeth understanding with the assurance of eternal life!"

Now that's a good fucking cup of coffee...