Thursday, June 15, 2006

Dickhead of the Week - Migraine Headache

Originally uploaded by dangunderman.
Rove gets off. Frist made $5,000,000 on stock investments while being investigated for insider trading. And Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert may have made $3,000,000 off some real estate thanks to a highway bill he pushed through congress. Yes, Dickheads all.

But it's hard to give a shit about any of that when Mr. Migraine Headache plants itself firmly in the middle of my skull. Yes, imagine if you will, a basketball. Let's say that basketball is in the middle of your head (if you think of your head as the earth, the basketball would be its core). Let's say that basketball is being inflated and pressuring its way out of your head from the inside.

Yes, Migraine Headache is a brutal totalitarian Dic(khead)tator. He is all-consuming. He causes lighting shapes in front of your vision. He causes nausea. He wipes you out.

And when Migraine Headache comes into town, you just can't give a fucking shit about anything else.

Even now, with the pain waning, I'm so goddamn exhausted, all I want to do is go to sleep.

Funny stuff today, eh, B&E readers?



At 11:40 PM , Blogger Valerie said...

Where did you get that painting? What an awesome depiction of a migraine! So real.

At 9:30 AM , Blogger Rachit said...

contact me at if you need some real help. OK

At 10:28 AM , Anonymous virgil said...

I recommend turning off the lights, lying down on your bed or couch or floor and listening to Van Morrison's Astral Weeks, drinking black cherry juice and nibbling on buttered rye toast.
Works for me.

At 11:35 AM , Anonymous Hollywood Max said...

I agree with Virgil, except I would substitute Van Halen's Women and Children First for Van Morrison's Astral Weeks. Because the cradle will rock.

At 1:29 PM , Blogger Martha Marin said...

Have you ever tried excedrin migraine?
I pooh-poohed (he he "pooh pooh") it because nothing ever worked on mine (...and I had pills they give you after a human being comes out of your lady place) but tried it recently and now have 3 bottles around me at all times.
ps - hey, hi Dan!

At 4:34 PM , Blogger Ted Carter said...

I also agree with Virgil, however I would make the following adjustments:

Music: Pink's new album "I'm Not Dead." Good stuff.

Drink: Apple Slice

Nibbling: Rosario Dawson

At 4:15 PM , Anonymous Dr. Helpful said...

Are you sure it's not a bunch of ingrown hair? Have someone shine a light into your eyes in a dark room. If it looks like there's little tassels hanging down behind your eyes, it's probably ingrown hair and not a migraine.

Dr. Helpful

At 9:33 AM , Blogger K.Bizzle said...

Way behind here on in the off chance that you like to read back to weeks ago...Have you ever thought that your migraines could be associated with food? I have traced my migraines to when I've eaten out, and specifically to the worker of all evil: MSG. MSG is not a flavor, it is a stimulant that opens your taste buds and makes you want more food, hence the obesity factor in this country. Everything from Chinese food to McDonald's to Campbell's Soup uses it, and thousands of Americans suffer from unexplained migraines all the time. So put that in your back pocket!


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