Motherhood at 63

So this 63-year-old child psychiatrist in Britain is about to become a mother. This would make her the oldest mom ever.

Frankly, I'd be less concerned that the woman is 63, and more concerned about her being a child psychiatrist. Have you met any children of child psychiatrists? They're fucking crazy. I can say this because some of my best friends are children of child psychiatrists.

Right, so, obviously, there's controversy and shit because she's so old. How will a teenager cope with a senior citizen mother, etc., etc., etc.? Well, the doctor who made all this possible assuaged any fears, telling the press that she's got the egg of a 45-year-old, adding, "The couple love each other, she is slim, blonde and in perfect condition... We are not giving birth to an orphan."

Well, hell. My mom is 63. And she just retired. Conditions are perfect for her to become a mother again. Except, dammit, she's not blond. Time to beef up the highlights, Ma! I think I'm finally ready for a baby brother or sister!

By the way, Ma, thanks again for the Mets money. I used some more last night. It's a gift that keeps on giving.