Thursday, April 06, 2006

Anti-Dickhead of the Week - More Anti-Dickheadedness!

Originally uploaded by dangunderman.
Yes, my lover, Russ "Balls of" Feingold, has done it again. He continues to seduce me away from my hetero ways.

Russ has become the first (tell me if you know of another) U.S. Senator to "come out" in favor of gay marriage.

Democrats are politically bisexual when it comes to gay marriage. They've blown the issue (so to speak), trying to have it both ways. Yes to civil unions. No to gay marriage. Gay-haters aren't going to distinguish between the two things anyway, and until gay folks have the same rights as everyone else, we'll have yet another whole set of second-class citizens in our country.

And the last thing we want is to breed an entire generation of gay terrorists!

Some of you may ask if Russ's pending divorce and his support of gay marriage have anything to do with my love for Russ "Oh, So" Feingold. Well, I say, "Shame on you. How dare you insinuate that Russ would have such poor taste as to take up with a bald, hairy man such as myself. Russ has much more class."

Oh! Unless he's a member of the Bear Club!



At 1:24 PM , Blogger Ted Carter said...

Gay terrorists - Far too many jokes based on unfair homosexual sterotypes to even begin...

At 4:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to be cynical, but I give Feingold's gay-marriage stance as much credence as we should have given Bill Clinton's 1992 campaign promise to end the Pentagon's ban on gays in the military. He promised, got the gay support, and then wildly famously utterly cravenly caved in to the brass the instant he took office, instead instituting the don't ask don't tell policy that has been 1000 times more heinous for gays in the military. Not to burst your crush-bubble on Russ, but us real actual homosexuals have lots of experience with politicians courting our votes then betraying us the instant we vote them in.

At 5:10 PM , Anonymous o'sunnyside said...

First, I gotta stick up for the missus here, Dan. She's a way classy lady, but has nevertheless taken up with a bald, hairy man such as yourself. So, clearly, we're dealing with issues of taste that can't be limited by labels of "poor" or "more class." The exact contours of your apparent magnetism, however, I'll leave that to the missus.

Second, I've been waiting all day for a report on the Mets game!

At 5:28 PM , Blogger dan g said...

Well, anonymous (if that is indeed your name), I can understand your cynicism. After all, aside from Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell, Clinton's two major "victories" while in office were welfare reform and NAFTA. Gosh, those were Republican goals.

I guess I put a little more credence in Russ, and not just because he's my secret lover. Clinton always pandered to the center. Russ, on the other hand, had a competition going with Senator Paul Wellstone (until his tragic death), to see who voted alone from the left more often. Remember, Russ voted against the original Patriot Act.

Yes, politics is always about compromise, but I guess I tend to believe the guy who's not afraid to stand alone.

And don't worry. Russ won't win the nomination for president in 2008. The feckless Democratic Party machine won't allow it. He's a Jew. That don't play in Mississippi. Therefore, Russ won't ever have to soften his stance on the issue of gay marriage.

Come on, anonymous (if that is indeed your name). Love Russ. He's Oh-So-Feingold.

Wait a minute. Anonymous? Do I sense a closet here at B&E. That shit ain't right.

And O'Sunnyside (if that is indeed your name)... Mets report coming up...


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