Four More Days, Baby!

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Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

Monday is opening day at Shea Stadium, and man, oh, Manischewitz, I'm about as excited for baseball as I am titillated by Senator Russ "Oh, So" Feingold, junior senator from Wisconsin.

- At age 63, Tom Glavine is making his 47th opening day start. (Trivia! Tom is wearing number 47 this year in honor of the occasion!)

- The battle for 2nd base seems to have come to an end. Disappointing Kaz Matsui got himself injured, and suspected former-'roid-user Bret Boone (suspected by me only, I think) got himself retired, leaving the job open for slick-hitting Ty Keppinger or slick-fielding Anderson Hernandez. Well, Ty got himself sent down to Norfolk. At a spry age 11, Anderson looks to join his elder cousin Jose Reyes (age 13) to be the middle infield for our Mets until (conservatively) 2060. (Trivia! Both middle-infielders hail from the Dominican Republic, which is a whole country of Catholic Friars!)

- The final spot in the Mets' 5-man starting pitching rotation came down to a fierce battle between college boys Aaron Heilman and Brian Bannister. Poor Heilman can't catch a break. He's been the Mets sixth starter for two years now, but because no team needs more than five, he keeps getting thrust into the bullpen. Maybe Heilman should try raising his bullpen ERA to above 1.00. That might get management to look at him as a starter again. (Trivia! Aaron and Brian thumb-wrestled - with their non-pitching hands - to determine who would be the fifth starter!)

- Pedro Martinez and his Bum Toe both promise to be ready for his first start (English is the Bum Toe's third language, after Spanish and German). Nike made Pedro a special shoe to help the Bum Toe, but God knows this will be an ongoing concern throughout the season. (Trivia! Pedro also hails from the Dominican Republic, which shares an island with Haiti. French-speaking Africans and Spanish-speaking Africans coincidentally settled on Hispaniola simultaneously, and after much confusion, opted to form separate - but equal! - countries!)

- Organic meat-eater and Mets reserve infielder Julio Franco is the oldest player in the league by more than two years. As is the case with most ladies, you shouldn't ask Julio his age. He'll whack you over the head with his purse. (Trivia! The oldest man in the Holy Bible is Methuselah!)

- Left-fielder Cliff Floyd nearly suffered kidney failure during spring training, but his kidneys appear to be working normal-for-Cliff at about 70% now. (Trivia! A great English delicacy is steak and kidney pie!)

- The Mets right-fielder is Xavier Nady. Who's Xavier Nady? Who knows, but I'm sure he's related to that college in Ohio somehow. (Trivia! Ohio has not two but three O's in its name! The third one is silent!)

Yes, 2006 promises to be an exciting year for Mets baseball. Stay tuned all season long for updates. (And trivia!)