Monday, February 20, 2006

Happy Presidents' Day, Bitch

Originally uploaded by dangunderman.
Today the missus and I did what all good Americans do on Presidents' Day: we shopped.

We've got the foulest, flimsiest, most disgusting mattress in the world, and we've lived with it for the length of our relationship thus far. So off to Sleepy's-the-Mattress-Professionals-for-the-Rest-of-Your-Life, we went. We felt like grown-ups.

And nothing makes you feel more grown-up than spending nearly a thousand bones on something you can't really afford.

But we were helped by a really nice Romanian woman. Actually, I have no idea if she's Romanian or not, but she was clearly from the former Soviet bloc, and all those Eastern European accents sound the same to me. And since we have a restaurant in our 'hood called Transylvania, and through small talk I learned that she lived on the same street, I'll call her Romanian.

So as Romanian Rose (not her real name) is ringing us up, we make a lot of chit-chat. After learning that I'm a part-time worker, she invites me to join the Sleepy's team. I'm tempted. Selling mattresses would be right up my alley. I could wear pajamas and look comfortable all day.

Then she tells us about some big hubbub in Congress. Apparently some Congressman called "the First Lady, but not Laura Bush, the other one, Clinton, Hillary" a bitch. For a saleslady, she really put a lot of oomph into her story, especially when it came time to say, "bitch!"

I don't want to say that Romanian Rose lied to me, but how come I can't find anything about this on the internet(s)?



At 2:00 PM , Blogger Ted Carter said...

I couldn't find it either, but I did find a scary, scary post about Condi Rice that I'm going to have to go blog about right now.

At 9:04 PM , Blogger Missy said...

What kind of mattress did you get? My back tells me every morning that we need a better one than what we have.

At 10:22 PM , Blogger Ali said...

I'm still jonesing for one of those Sleep Number beds. But since the PILLOWS start at $50, I think we'll wait. (And wait and wait...)

At 6:11 PM , Blogger dan g said...

I don't actually remember the brand name. The delivery dudes took off all the plastic and labels and stuff. It's nothing you've heard of. They don't advertise. But it's comfy.

AND, Ali, the missus and I invested in a couple of those pillows (I don't know if it's the same pillow you're talking about, but it's a pricey pillow). The missus is tired of hearing me snore, and I'm tired of waking up with neck and headaches. Romanian Rose gave us a deal on the pillows since we laid out so much goddamned cash for the mattress.

At 9:33 PM , Blogger Missy said...

So do the pillows work? I have the same issues. If it will solve the problem then bring on the $50 pillow cuz Mama has a birfday comin' up.

At 4:32 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Snorers of the world, I have an FYI. A 1" thick piece of wood under each foot of the headboard will help eliminate that nasty snoring, and your sleeping pal next to you will say "Thanks!".

At 8:53 PM , Blogger Missy said...

I think I hear my husband running to the hardware store right now!


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