Turkeys in the White House
Anyone who watches "The West Wing" or pays attention to the pomp and circumstance at the real White House knows that our fair president will make the fifth pardon of his illustrious political career this Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, all five of his pardons have applied to turkeys only.
To add more fun to this year's pardon celebration, the White House is showing its wacky side, offering an online Name-the-National-Thanksgiving-Turkey vote.
Of course, even in this trivial endeavor, our current administration misses the mark. First of all, it distinctly says, "Name The National Thanksgiving Turkey." Sounds like one turkey, right? So then why do all of our options have two names? Democracy and Freedom. Blessing and Bounty. Wattle and Snood. You get the idea. Are there two turkeys here, or does the name represent the two distinct facets of the turkey's personality? We need some goddamned clarification here. Someone get that Dickhead Scott McClellan on the horn!
Even more disappointing, though, is that there's no write-in option. I was hoping to get the Commander-in-Chief to pardon a turkey named I. Lewis Libby.
posted by Dan G @ 10:06 AM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
An alternate is chosen in case the National Thanksgiving Turkey becomes ill or can't participate, thus the two names. Christopher "Turkey Guy" Smith answers every possible question we could have about this wonderful and important event at the white house, including "does the turkey being pardoned belong to a political party?", and "what is the best oil to fry a turkey in?".
How about names such as "Your Foreign Policy," or "No CHild Left Behind?" Just a couple of Bush's bigger turkeys I can think of...
Have you seen the pictures of all the naked turkeys stacked in pyramids in front of smiling people wearing rubber gloves? It's astonishing. And to think they were taken in Gristedes.
Abu Gristedes.
Marshmallow and Yam won (and they're goin' to Disneyland!). Not sure what to make of that.
Also not sure what to make of the juxtaposition of two quotes from W during the ceremony:
"I know Marshmallow and Yam are going to feel pretty good strutting around sunny California, remembering the cold days of Minnesota."
"We think of our military families who will have an empty seat at the table this Thanksgiving."
Perhaps our military men and women should feel pretty good strutting around Sunni Iraq remembering the cold seat at their families' dinner tables?
Oh, snap, dropsy, if that is indeed your name. I was just gonna post something about the turkeys heading off to SoCal, but you beat me to the punch. And you packed a powerful one there...
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