Surfers Beware

dolphin
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

The US Military can neither confirm nor deny that Hurricane Katrina let loose trained, armed, and dangerous dolphins.

The intelligent, social mammals have been used by the US Navy since the 1950s. At first, dolphins were studied by engineers bent on improving the shapes of submarines and torpedoes. Soon, however, it became clear that dolphins, and even sea lions, could be trained to perform deep dives and track underwater devices. And unlike girly human divers, dolphins don't get the bends!

Recently, it seems, dolphins have been joining the US in The War On Terror. Armed with tranqs and trained to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels, Katrina may have unleashed a pod of killer dolphins upon the Gulf of Mexico. Now anyone in a wetsuit might be targeted by Navy Not-Exactly-Seals.

Nice work, everybody. That's a wrap.