Of Ballplaying Assholes

testify
Originally uploaded by dangunderman.

So Rafael Palmeiro tested positive for steroids. I considered making the cheap joke about Viagra no longer being the only performance-enhancing drug he uses, but I've already seen three or four references poking fun at his poker. Everyone else seems to be discussing Raffy's credibility problem.

Really, the media coverage of all this crap, and by all this crap I mean the steroids crap in general, is boring as shit. I mean, if Raffy was using on purpose and got caught, he's both an asshole and an idiot. If he used unknowingly, he's a jackass and an idiot.

So what's the surprise? Anybody who went to high school can tell you that jocks are assholes, jackasses, and idiots. So why the hell do we give professional jocks credibility in the first place?

I love baseball. Watching, playing, whatever. But ballplayers are bastards. I think I've mentioned that, as a kid, I stopped playing baseball when I decided I hated spending my summers with a bunch of over-competitive assholes. And I could play, so they were relatively nice to me. But I hated those guys. So dudes like Raffy not only tolerate the assholes, but thrive in the presence thereof.

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE ASSHOLES!

So, sorry, media, but there's really only one story here. If Palmeiro used knowingly, if he used unknowingly... Hell, even if he perjured himself in front of Congress... He's an asshole. Ballplayers are assholes.