It's Still a Pig

We were fighting "The Global War on Terror." Now the Bush Administration is retooling its public relations approach, because the problem isn't the worldwide quagmire we're in. It's how said quagmire is being sold to the public. So it's now, "A Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism."

So what does a change from "The Global War On Terror" to "A Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism" mean for us? Well, let's take a look, shall we?

- "The Global" vs. "A Global": It's surprising that the Bush Administration would change anything from definite to indefinite in their black & white version of the world, even if it's just the/an article. Maybe they know something we don't. Perhaps there's another globe somewhere in the universe that they don't want to tell us about, but need to cover their asses in case Boba Rove leaks the information to the press.

- "War" vs. "Struggle": Is it because the fight against terrorism is more than military action? Or is it because "War" implies aggression, while "Struggle" implies an underdog status? The extremist right in this country is very good at victimizing itself, you know, like how Christians and Christianity are under attack even though they control all three branches of the government. And while I recognize that some real assholes believe in killing innocent office workers in New York and commuters in London, the U.S. is still the "world's remaining superpower," so getting that underdog status is gonna take a little more than a word change. We'll actually have to get the shit bombed out of us for a few years before I'll use "struggle," a word generally used in the fight against The Man.

- "On" vs. "Against": I prefer any preposition that offers an image of hot War-On-Terror action.

- "Terror" vs. "Violent Extremism": This is one change I can really get behind. This must mean that the government's no longer just going after terrorists, but all violent extremists. Send abortion clinic bombers to Gitmo! Deport right-wing militia members to Kyrgystan for "interrogation"! Hold wife beaters indefinitely without charges!

But then, just when I have hope in our new Struggle, spokesfolk for the Administration insist that the approach to the War/Struggle itself won't change.

In other words, to quote Vice President Dick(head) Cheney, "You can dress up a pig all you want..."

Maybe it's time to start "The Global War On Euphemism."