Skip to content

Don’t Touch the Bats!

Apologies, dear B&E readers, for such a long absence. I’ve been working on this rather time-consuming writing project, and then I spent a few days out of town. I can’t promise that the near future will be any better than the past few weeks since the writing project continues. And yes, there’s been Glenn Beck and some elections and more “Ground Zero Mosque” nonsense and a vacation and other such rant-worthy events. And I’ve let them all pass by me, as I simply had to de-prioritize this little website here for a while.

One quick thing, though. I visited the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory during my recent trip, which is about as awesome a place as I’d hoped it would be. I held one of Mickey Mantle’s bats, and saw them making bats for the professionals and making bats for the amateurs (different grades of wood, don’tcha know), much of the various processes done by hand.

At one point, we were able to hold a few bats that were about to shipped off to current Major League players. Derek Jeter was one of them. But I went right to the only Mets player represented in this small group of players: Jeff Francoeur.

Jeff had been traded to the Texas Rangers by the time I got back to New York. I’m really sorry I touched your bat, Frenchie.

My Neighborhood, Looking Fine

Because I’m not updating this with any frequency this month, please allow me to point you in the direction of this lovely time-lapse video on the Sunnyside Post.

That’s my neighborhood getting a fine sunset treatment. I love Queens. I love Sunnyside. I love New York. Even though, at this very moment, I’m grumpy as hell. Thanks, Sunnyside Post.

Congratulations, Spamming Pieces of Shit!

In early May, I switched from Blogger to Word Press for my blogging needs. In less than four months, the number of spam comments I’ve received have overtaken the total number of comments I’ve received since February 2005.

Although my total number of legitimate comments may be considered small (inevitable when you’ve got six readers), the spammers have really outdone themselves to reach this milestone. Please join me in offering a hearty B&E congratulations to the spammers, for without them, how would we know where to turn for our pharmaceuticals, money-making blogging schemes, and colon cancer chemotherapy?

Careful With Your Delicates

I just spent a couple hours at the Genius Bar, hanging with the geniuses, mostly because I’m a genius.

Oh, and because I had another issue with my Mac. I swear to god I’m the only person in the world who’s had more Mac issues than I ever had PC issues.

I made an appointment at the touristy one because it’s closest to home, and man, that place is just lousy with tourists. I mean, it’s lousy with ‘em.

There was a woman standing near me holding her baby. When the (I assume) baby daddy came back, they made a swap: baby for MacBook. (I know which I’d choose!) They were way more careful handing over the MacBook than they were with the baby. Priorities, you know.

Anyway, the genius fixed my computer. It shut down a couple of times this morning. Full-on powered down. I didn’t much care for that. Turns out my fan wasn’t working, so when the computer got hot, it shut itself down to cool off. The genius replaced my fan, and all should be right with the world.

Until that family drops a baby in their haste to get online.

We’re in America, Right?

Maybe I’ll stop writing about the “Ground Zero Mosque” soon. After all, the issue has been addressed by several parties much more eloquently and thoughtfully than I can or will address it.

But apparently CNN did a poll that says 68% of Americans are opposed to building the Ground Zero Mosque, which is funny, because it is neither a mosque nor is it at Ground Zero.

What does this poll actually tell us? As far as I can tell, it tells us that 68% of Americans don’t understand what it means to be an American, since freedom of (and from) religion is, well, a founding principle of America.

Or if I’m feeling less generous about it, I’d say that 68% of Americans are stupid fucking assholes.

More Excuses

Greetings, B&E readers. I’m going to have one of those months. A busy one of those months, I mean. And so I thought it fair to warn you that my postings may drop off even more than they’ve been dropping off lately.

Of course, I’ve also found that when I warn my (six) readers that I’m about to slow down the postings, the postings actually pick up in pace. So we’ll see where that leaves us.

In the meantime, I’m still getting many, many spam comments. My favorites (two) have come from “colon cancer chemotherapy.” I shall file the information for safekeeping in case I get colon cancer because, if I’m going to need treatment, I’m going to rely on a spam message for advice. Thank you, “colon cancer chemotherapy,” if that is indeed your name!

Trapped in a Land Called Nostalgia

Last weekend was my high school reunion.

A little personal history… I was not what most people would consider a loser or a geek or whatever in high school. I was a bit of an oddball, for sure. There were plenty of people who didn’t know what to do with me, whether because I had a mopful of long hair or because we had no history before high school (I’d gone to the Lutheran school through 8th grade, and only two of us Lutherans went to my high school) or because I’m actually a bit shy around new people, something friends quickly forget once I’m more my natural goofy self around them for a while.

But during four years of high school, I never once got my ass kicked, I don’t remember having my ass get a threatened kick, and I even had friends outside of my immediate clique of theater fags and art geeks. I wouldn’t say I was popular, but I was generally accepted by the school’s gen-pop.

I also couldn’t wait to get out of there, and nothing in the world could have moved me to go to my ten-year reunion. Not enough time had passed.

This time, Facebook made a reunion seem palatable. I’d reconnected with a few people, and it was sort of nice. So when the time came, I signed up.

It was a great visit back to Topeka. The reunion itself… undecided. I’m not sure if it’s just regression, but it’s a little disconcerting how little people change. I don’t know that I’m an exception, even. But there we all were, back in our old roles, the same divide among all of the various cliques. I found myself thinking that, overall, my classmates weren’t terribly pleasant people. That I judged them so harshly also only confirmed that I was a fucking snob, and probably was in high school.

There were a few people it was great having short catch-up sessions with, who seemed as genuine or kind or cool or whatever as they were in high school. The great people don’t change either, thankfully. There were some people who were doing interesting things with their lives and seemed pretty pleased about it all. There were also people who seemed pretty miserable or angry or otherwise discontented. There were also some key no-shows from my immediate circle of friends.

To my high school friends who attended (and who may or may not read B&E), it was genuinely terrific hanging out with you and being generally awkward with you all. You all confirm that, yes, I had good taste in people in high school.

After a long weekend of regression, of course, getting back into the swing of the Here & Now isn’t the easiest thing to do. So going to see Our Town at the Barrow Street Theater turned out to be a Very Good Thing To Do. The play’s themes really hit home after a visit to one’s past, not to mention a trip to one’s father’s grave.

Also (remember, dear readers, that B&E is always about me), I’d played George in high school and attended the production with the woman who played Emily opposite me (and who hadn’t been able to go to the reunion). So sitting back home in New York, seeing this stunning new production of a classic play that also brought back fond memories from my past, while reminding us all to strive to be saints and poets, who sometimes actually see the world around them… Let’s just say it resonated.

I can’t recommend the production highly enough. If you’re in New York and spend money on theater, this will be one of the best investments you’ve made in theater for years. Michael McKean, as the Stage Manager, is a goddamned revelation. Hell, the whole thing reminded me why theater can be so great. Just stunning.

Now You People Are Making Me Mad. Yes, “You People.”

So now Newt Gingrich is adding his two cents to the mosque-near-Ground-Zero argument. No, he’s not anti-Muslim. Just build the mosque elsewhere. Build it near Central Park, near Columbia University, near the back of the bus, just not near Ground Zero.

Since when does some Dickhead from Georgia get to tell New Yorkers where to build stuff in our city? Newt and Palin need to concern themselves with real estate development in their own states and keep their noses out of ours. Jesus Christ. I mean, I don’t hear New Yorkers telling them what they can or can’t build across their cotton-pickin’ and salmon-fishin’ states.

Please fuck off and leave us alone. Thank you.

God Loves Geeks

A geek I work with knows that I grew up in the land of Fred Phelps. And because my colleague is a geek, he’s been following the goings-on at Comic-Con in San Diego.

One such going-on was a Westboro Baptist Church/Phelps Family Singers God-Hates-Fags-a-Thon. Geeks, being geeks, turned out with a very strange and terrific counter-protest. Here’s one of my favorite images from the report.

Well done, geeks.

Remember the Mets?

The first half of the Mets season was actually pretty decent. And now that they have their entire team back after the All-Star break, they should be even better, right? Of course not. They’ve lost six of their last seven.

I think maybe I know what the problem is. In today’s New York Times, there was an article about how Mets third baseman David Wright is beginning to develop a special relationship with all-time great Willie Mays.

Beneath a photo accompanying the article was this caption: “Willie Mays, a Hall of Famer who played for the Giants and the Mets, has taken an interest in third baseman David Wright.” This is the photo:

I’m beginning to understand why the Mets are struggling. David Wright looks terrible.